Zoonic wrote:
DonkeyBuster wrote:
Yeesh, Equinn, not every Aspie has to like Spock. I'm pretty certain it's not in the DSM IV.
A lot of Aspies don't like other Aspies... Zoonic's not alone in that. Maybe more vocal in her hostility towards the whole human race, and I think she made a misdiagnosis of her stalker (sounds more psychotic on psycho-active drugs to me). I am certainly frequently wounded by rude, thoughtless Aspie comments and can't stand how some go on and on and on.... I can recognize the weirdness in other's, I'm clueless about my own.
I'd be interested in finding out WHY he doesn't like that other kid... is that kid tormenting him somehow? Is he loud, rude, a bully, smells... ?
I think you might want to look into your own hostility. It reeks.
The stalker was diagnosed with asperger's and we first met when I was forcefully put in a specially designed AS class (which I soon dropped out of) in the 8th grade. Years later he started stalking me. Of course the teachers as well as the mother of this guy had told him what a typical "aspie" I was, so he believed that we were the same. He wanted to reflect himself in me and know who I met, what I did every second of the day etc.
I was mentally raped and had my self image thrashed during my teens, by the asperger diagnosis and how the teachers, doctors and my parents acted. The anger and humiliation have scarred me and enhanced any personality disorders I might have had.
When I was around 14-16 I had so much supressed rage, as a result of having my social life ripped from me by teachers who "just wanted to help by informing everyone", having my parents threatening me with being hospitalized if I did anything they didn't like etc. I was mentally slapped, spat at, humiliated and I wasn't allowed to vent so all this anger and humiliation combined with being a developing teenager resulted in violent outbursts. Several times my parents called the police and had me locked up in child psychiatry ward for two weeks or so at a time. When I was locked up I was put on medication against everything from depression to schizophrenia, was further humiliated and had my humanity stolen from me by arrogant doctors. I was in a clear state of mind, completely sane but locked up as punishment and denied access to the outside world. One of the medications was Risperdal and I was on it a few months and the medicine made me paranoid, oversensitive to sounds, afraid of the dark in the middle of the day etc and gave me feelings of anxiety I never experienced before in my life. My stress tolerance was completey abolished. These are symptoms for when a non-psychotic person is medicated with anti-psychosis medicine, it backlashes. In the end all medications failed and psychiatry gave up after my 16th birthday but by then I was already well beyond traumatized.
After this, I've felt like a subhumanized chained dog who is expected to humbly accept the ignorant and maybe even misdiagnosed verdict placed on me by an entire society. The only way I could find harmony was through complete withdrawal from society. I think it's a survival mechanism in order to keep me sane. I'm still the master of my own mind, I've never been psychotic. As soon as I'm faced with the ignorance of society, the feeling of being slapped and labeled strikes me. People won't ever know the truth and my chances of finding harmony within the normal system are non existant.
What a story. I think you should write a book, show the other side, how embracing the aspie label is not always as easy as it seems and sometimes it is unhealthy. This would sell for sure! I do think kids have the right to be label free. My son does not want to be in special ed next year. He wants no part in any of it. He wants to be left alone. This is why your story is especially interesting to me. In some areas, he needs some assistance, but I also think the additional attention smothers him and he wants to be free of it. The idea of someone following him around, checking in on him, watching his every move is disconcerting to him. (It would be to me too). He wants to be like his classmates, free. It is almost as if he's being penalized for thinking differently. It's difficult from a parent's perspective to make the right decision.
No, I don't try to convince my son he is an aspie. I don't discuss. I've mentioned it a couple times, a couple yeas ago, after he found some books, he inquired, we talked briefly and I said he was normal for him. I can't bring myself to tell him his brain is wired differently. It's too weird sounding, almost gruesome. He knows Aspergers and has diagnosed kids himself, which is sort of weird. A couple classmates over the last couple years he identified as Aspergers. At one point, he kept repeating it under his breath, or he'd blurt it out when other people were around and it was out of context. He has done this a few times. Not sure what this means. If that was my cue to say, "Yes, that's what you have," I missed it. I simply changed the subject.
17 May 2009, 8:46 pm
