'Fixing' the Thousand Yard Stare?

Post Reply New Topic

So, two days ago, I had a great evening at a show at our local theater, with a band headed by a great singer, and there were some acquaintances among the audience I hadn't seen in a while, so I ended up catching up with them. And this old acquaintance (kind of an 'aunt'), wanted to take a picture of the two of us together, so I did my best to look at the birdy and smile. But when I saw the picture on the smartphone, I noticed that I had this steely gaze on my face, which I've seen before in the mirror, and which I seem to display quite often.

This is a question mainly for the non-autistic members of the forum, but also those autistic members who have found ways around this so-called 'thousand yard stare'.

My simple question is: how would you advice that someone tries to 'break' the steely gaze, either on pictures, or in real time in the flesh? Any suggestions on how to make the look in one's eye appear more natural and spontaneous, and not so 'piercing', as it were?

Maybe being like an actor, trying to convey happy or friendly. Also, possibly thinking of something that makes you happy might work.

My daughter, who is only 8, watched one of her photographic friends and learned how to copy her. So for a long time, she had one "pose" for pictures. This year she had me find pictures of kids smiling on the internet before her school picture. She picked one she liked and then she practiced it in the mirror until she could do it each time. Now she has two "poses" for pictures. If she does not purposely do either, she ends up looking disconnected and unhappy, even though she is not a disconnected and unhappy person.

I took her lead and did the same for my new employee ID this year and for the first time ever, I actually had a picture that I don't detest. It felt ridiculous to practice and I felt ridiculous posing the way I did, but it is my first ID picture that looks natural.

The irony is not lost on me. In order to look natural in a picture, I have to practice and pose in a way that feels utterly unnatural.

^ Can't speak for using in photographs, but have done this quite a bit in day-to-day life.

Look away from the camera, and then look at the camera at the last second? That's what people tell me lol.

Actually don't mind my thousand yard gaze one bit, and if someone else does that is their problem. I hate being photographed though. I never look right in pictures, fine with a mirror, but not pictures.

Photos(if taken correctly) are supposebly how you really look to other people whereas the mirror is slightly-distorted due to it being a reflection for one thing.

Yes, indeed. It has to do with left and right being shifted around; everything we see in our reflection in the mirror, is on the 'other' side (the left or right) when another person looks at our face.
I should say that this has never bothered me, though, and I don't experience that severe a disconnect between my reflection and a photograph. However, I should add that I don't like looking at either my reflection or a photograph of my face.

I don't like looking at myself at all either. Every reflection I avoid. I just don't like looking at myself as this 'being'. I feel strange looking at it. The way I look isn't how I feel I should look.