Are you easily persuaded / influenced?

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This is something have been told about. Sometimes people think i have better self awareness then I do when I talk about myself, but it's really stuff im told I do. Anyways am told that I can be easily influenced. one thing my dad is concerned about me being on forums is someone will take advantage of me in PM.

But anyways on another forum someone said something about eating fish tacos, and I became obsessed with having fish tacos. Also people can get me to change my mind very easily. Like I will give in to their way of thinking.
Like I'll say "I think blue eyes look best" and the someone will say "green eyes are better" and I will say "yeah you're right green eyes are better".

But in a lot of other ways am very stubborn and stick to my way of thinking about something or doing something.

I don't know how to respond properly.

I don't allow myself to be manipulated via things such as the PMing your dad mentioned, but I can easily be influenced/persuaded by good suggestions. For example, if my sister begged me to order pizza for dinner on a day where I wanted chicken and chips, I would probably be persuaded/influenced, but that's only because I love my sister and I also love pizza - the situation is still under my control. I may like chicken and chips more and want it more, though I don't really lose out by 'allowing myself' to be persuaded. I'm not sure if that counts as the persuasion/influence you mean. I can think of too many contexts as I can't properly define the words due to negative connotations and relation to manipulation.

Your green eyes example applies to me too, in that in the past I had a seemingly automatic coping mechanism, which was to conform with their thinking. I think that some would classify that as herd behaviour, though I think that's probably inaccurate. I don't do it anymore because I've developed better coping mechanisms.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

Hi, Ezra.
I´m 47 years older than you and I´ve had this problem all along. Even as an adult, I´ve had the problem, you describe.
I could see it happen, but could do nothing about it, even if I wanted to.
I´ve called it my "automatic compliance" and it has been a pain in the butt.
At the same time, I´ve been critisized for being stubborn and categorical/rigid.

I guess it is probably an autistic trait. At least I haven´t observed the same in any of my friends.
I think, I have got over it within the last 10 years, just as I have realized some basic social rules within the last 5 years.

Being aware has helped, - and knowing, that it has nothing to do with some special weakness of character or judgement has helped even more.
The fact, that you are aware, is promising. You can work on it already.
In the meantime, your dad is right.
You have to protect yourself on the net. Know your own vulnerability.

I actually happen to be very stubborn a lot of the time, but in situations where I am being stubborn, my mental indomitability is a result of me not trusting the things I am being told. On the other hand, though, I can tell you that I am easily influenced by other people's opinions when it comes to the things I frankly don't know much about and it often times leads me into making awkward and naive remarks when, on a later occasion, someone brings up that subject and all I have to say about it are regurgitations of the opinions or generalizations I've been told.

I was like that growing up. I felt like I had no opinions of my own which is why today I will annoying stick to my opinions, until facts can discount them.

You learn from trial and error. When you get older and have been naive in the past you grow a tougher skin, and might become really intimidating with the amount of distrust you have for people. It's to keep you safe.

I've been through some terrible ordeals with 'friends' and have been exposed to some terrifying situations, and it's made me a much more cautious person. I was pretty cautious as a child though. Now I have a reason to be.

I'm a pretty ODD person, which means I'll go for the opposing viewpoint before I have a chance to think about whether I truly agree with a person's view or not. But I'm a mixed bag of being easily led, easily convinced of something and then refusing to be swayed to another point of view.

Usually I just look fro the facts. If someone is revealing more facts to me than emotions then I'll consider opening up to it. The PM thing your dad warned you about is something good to listen to.

With the fish tacos thing...I think you were just getting really curious about them. It's like fish fingers and custard. It sounds like a really weird food combination but then again...oh it could be nice. And any Doctor Who fan has got to try it at least once. That's just curiosity, not being swayed to someone's opinion.

I'm on the opposite end. I have never been easily persuaded at all. If my mind is set, it's set in stone. I have been called stubborn all my life, and I am, and sometimes that's a very good thing.

As I've grown a bit more mature, I have come to understand that relationships with others need to be give and take, so while I will never be someone who can be easily talked into something, I understand that compromises are necessary sometimes.


Not trusting people and being skeptical has always been my default setting.

Maybe in my younger years I did, which got me into some sticky situations I very much regret, but I have my own brain now.

Yes, I am easily influenced often because of taking people at face value and believing they mean what they say.

I understand what your dad means, as I would worry if my daughter were on WP. But I've shown her the teen section because I get something from coming here, and feel she should know WP exists so she can come here if she wants. In other forums and IRL I find that people play with me and get mad when I get upset a lot more.

Does your dad go on WP himself? I think having experience here is the best way for him to understand the advantages and disadvantages, since he's worried.

I was getting really upset on another thread and posted it and unlike IRL, no one went after me (at least last I looked) for saying I was agitated. Somebody redirected the conversation away from me. People seemed not to think it's good clean fun to continue to poke, probably because they know what it feels like, that when someone with autism says getting agitated it isn't just fun to continue poking. I hope I don't look at my mail and discover something upsetting now, but I'll still know that a couple people went on about other things and left me out after I asked for that, and still grateful for that.

We don't learn to be strong, but not overly rigid, without practicing somewhere is all. Practice has risks. But I think we can learn how to manage when someone is manipulative better through practicing than being in a bubble.

For me, simply yes. It makes who assists me cautious.

I can relate quite well to you, Ezra. I was a very gullible and persuadable child. I was lucky to recognize this in adolescence and work hard to correct it, but I'm still pretty malleable in that regard. I also share the same paradoxical stubborn streak. It's odd, the things we capitulate to and the things we resist.

I can't find any rhyme or reason to it, except perhaps this: When the outcome is not of immediate concern to me, I tend to just say "Yes". But when I have my mind set on doing something, I won't budge.

It depends on the situation. If it is someone I don't know, or someone I have my guard up against for whatever reason, I am not easily influenced. I know for instance if I walk on a used car lot they are going to be very coercive and I have my guard up against that.

But with friends or family, or people I talk to regularly for advice, once I put my trust in someone it is very hard for me to not also put trust in whatever they say. Even if I can question it, analyze it, overthink it, and ultimately even disagree with them I can still be strongly influenced by what they told me. Sometimes it puts me in a lot of conflict with myself, because I disagree but I doubt myself and wonder if they are right.

Also I find if a person I don't know or trust very well, catches me off guard and tried to persuade me about something, it can really throw me into confusion. I am not easily persuaded but I find myself going back and forth over it, even months later.

People have always pointed out that I'm stubborn, and that you can't really get me to change my point of view on anything. Since I'm always right, I don't see how this is a problem.

I'm the opposite as well. My mum would always call me stubborn after each meltdown inducing argument we had when I was in my teens. She would tell me that I've been stubborn since I was very little. She's right, but there are kinder ways of telling the truth to me. She didn't know that.

I've always felt that I needed to stand up for what's right for me. It started when I was little, because I felt my will was all that I had. I'm still very much set in my ways and there are some things that well meaning people can't persuade or force me what to do. Pretending to like today's popular culture, fashions and hair by forcing myself to live in the present is one of those things.

Another thing that people can't persuade me to do is to be more feminine or ladylike. I identify as Male here on WP and some other forums unless it's a money making site where I need to be honest. Why would I have to force myself to be something that I never felt I was or that I never wanted to be?

I am easily persuaded / influenced. I take people at their word and It would take me a long time to get my own perspective on it.
But sometimes I'm stubborn about something, and when I'm stubborn, I'm very very stubborn.

I was credulous when I was younger, believing everything I was told. Now I'm very suspicious, sceptical and distrusting. But I still lack assertiveness IRL - I remember once being stuck in a taxi for an hour because I didn't leave as the taxi driver was talking to me. I know most would have just got out. lol

No, I'm not easily persuaded or manipulated in any way. I used to be, but I've come to recognize when people are trying to do so and now I'm immovable. People don't like that, but they can suck on stale bread for all I care.