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I suspect my husband to be Aspergers I always new that something was wrong, but didn't know it had a name until recently when I read an article on it. Is there anyone out there, in a similar situation?

How do you persuade a very stubborn 63 year old to ask for a diagnosis?

I don't think it's possible to persuade a 63 yr old to ask for a diagnosis. I've never brought any of it up to my hermit father because I have no idea what he would do with the information that both of us have Asperger's as does one of his brothers and one of my sons and one of my sister's daughters. It was stunning to me at first to find out my daughter came by her severe autism honestly. I was in my forties at the time, and I have been processing the thought ever since.

I don't know. As the previous poster noted, it may not even be possible. But can you at least get him to read up on it himself? At this age, I honestly don't know how much benefit an "official" diagnosis would bring, anyway.

I'm probably not very different from your husband, and I know I have neither interest nor need in going through the rigamarole of a diagnosis. I know myself. When I began studying the phenomeon of AS, I realized its application to me pretty quickly. Perhaps he'll do the same.

Thanks lelia,

This is all very new to me, I'm still digesting information.
I think you are probably right, but thought knowing for certain might make the problem easier to live with. I am also worried in case it affects our young grandchildren.

Thank you for reply,
I have given him printouts to read which includes the positives of AS, but so far, refuses to look, (unless he sneaked a peek when I wasn't looking fingers crossed)

Why is he fighting it so vigorously, if I may ask?

There is nothing you could do to prevent a child from being autistic. There may indeed be a genetic link, but there's no changing the cards you are dealt. It may be helpful to know that there's a possibility of a family history if your grandchild was to become diagnosed, but nothing would change.

My son has AS and his grandfather likely had it too (as well as myself), but he's the only one with an official diagnosis. For us it's not really a very big deal. My son is amazing and we love him to bits. Same with your grandchildren, I'm sure.

Wish I knew, could it be an Asperger symptom?

Thanks, you're right, perhaps I should just wait and see.

Well, how long have you been together? If it's many years, does it really matter at this point?
What's the difference? People are the way they are.

Been together 35 years, and it seems to be getting worse, the difference now is, alcohol has become another regular-as-clockwork-habit.
Is this common for aspergers people to use alcohol as an escape?

different people, different reactions. I stumbled onto an insight which was very welcome. Would have been glaf to have it at 63 - give me a few more years of exploring and starting to solve 50 year old relationship puzzles.

But not evety one is yrs trly, and even I don;t know how I would have reacted had it been suggested.

I am not sure from 60 on how much adiagnosdis would be worth - hassle with fee positive benefits I can see.

Alcohol as a destressor - depending on how much addiction has clicked in, you could consider looking at ways to build alternative low stress time into life [contrary to what I thought at 20, 60+ has not proven to be the great relaxation I thought it was]. For several tears, we for example have built a day a week of retreat time into our life. Has worked well; we are both about equally spectral though differently abled, and the down time helps both.