Question for Aspies who are in a relationship with an NT

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If you have been in a long term relationship with an NT, do you feel that person has become "aspergated" at all?

I first read about this concept in Ashley Standford's book "Aspergers and Long Term Relationships"... where the NT spouse starts to take on AS qualities through years of compromise with the AS spouse. Lately I have been thinking about that more and more. I think I have become aspergated. When I first met my husband I had a lot more friends, and I enjoyed socializing. Now I rarely see any friends, and feel I've become more antisocial as time has gone by and we spend a lot of time alone.

I'm not saying I think this is a bad thing, just wondering if this is common in AS/NT relationships?

I feel it is the other way round. I'm in a relationship with an NT for more than two years. Before I met him I was alone most of my time, did a lot of creative things and had time for my three hobbies.
Today I feel "forced" to join his socializing. I (as good as) dropped my favorite creative hobbies to spend useless time with his family and friends. Sometimes it feels like a never ending fight - I try hard to stay myself, but my boyfriend "neurotypes" me. I want to be alone and creative, but then I let him persuade me to be social and boring.

My husband pushes me to go out and socialize with him, which does me a lot of good really. Left to my own devices, I'd probably never leave the apartment. I don't go out with him every single time, but I do try to make an effort to stay involved more.
As for him taking on AS traits? What similarities we do have are just facets of his personality we share. We may bring out different sides in our partners but I don't think anything rubs off.

"Aspergated".

Sound like something applied rectally.

I don't think it's possible.

The examples given all have something in common. The woman partner is saying she's taking on aspects of her man. It's only 3 examples, so it's not a lot to form an opinion on but gender roles seem to play a part.

I have a girlfriend of several months now, and I do believe she's changing to accommodate me more than I'm changing to accommodate her. She's speaking more literally, using less sarcasm because she knows I don't always pick up on it. She's trying to stop reading into what I'm saying and just take the words at their meaning. When I tell her I need some down time she's fine with it and doesn't intrude. We met in a social group, she was very impressed with me defending someone from verbal bullying. The guy I stood up to was apparently the top dog, alpha male, main man, whatever you call it in this group, and everyone knew it but me. I don't recognize social hierarchies, and now she thinks that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Yes the gender difference is interesting indeed.

Need to think about that some more.

No my lovely wife still 110% NT

Yes, this has happened to me. I'm with him for 3.5years and I feel like I have some traits rub off on me. For example, I am not more blunt and straight-forward with people, since I found that technique to be so much better than to beat around the bush. I have become more honest. I even enjoy more personal time, almost by double and like to be left alone a lot and be productive.

I didn't notice much about changing to be like me. The only things that I could see was that she was dying for social interaction with friends, always complaining about not having any friends... until I made her aware one day that I don't have any friends, and asked, haven't you noticed? She was diagnosed with ADHD, got the medication and became a super socialite. Which I couldn't handle any more. So I got out.

Perhaps it's influenced by how long the NT's know the partner's AS and accommodated for how long.
In my case, married 18 years. Only recently discovered I'm AS. So, no my husband does not have sympathetic aspergers. He's only just started accommodating my aspie traits. Prior to that it was all about fighting against them.

I don't think my husband has been aspergated.

I've only recently discovered my AS, but my wife and I have been married, mostly happily, for ten years. While there have always been things about each other that is simply baffling, we learned early on that we don't have to understand why something is important as long as we understand that it is. For instance, she needs daily conversation to be happy. To me that feels excessive, but we talk everyday after work. On the other side, in order to sleep, I need the mattress properly aligned on the box spring, the sheets clean and taut, my pillows stacked neatly for support and with me having enough space to not be touched. She just needs a blanket and dark, but before she goes to bed, she lets me know so that I can fix things. That way, after i get my alone time with her and the kids sleeping, I can slip right in and pass out. We discussed early in our relationship that we fell in love with each other as we were. Instead of either of us changing who we were, we learned to accommodate the idiosyncrasies that make us unique.

Lets see, my partner and i met through the web on a video game, we've lived in each others towns, but now she lives with me in my home town.
She no longer sees her friends, has little contact with her family, spends alot of time on the videogames and computer, has now started moaning about the adverts on the telly as well and cant seem to talk to new people anymore.
Yup - shes officialy aspergated

My husband and I have been friends for 16 years but only married or living together for 5. Initially, he neither of us knew about my Aspergers but we were, and remain, a good fit since he already has many traits.

He's very personal and quiet and dislikes surprises and loud noises. He doesn't like public displays of affection, generally, and tends to jump if touched without warning, just like I do. He gets obsessive about games and projects. These were all present prior to me, however.

Few things have changed for him since we became a live-in couple except that he goes out much less, and when he does it is almost never with a group of people. The exception is our weekly D&D gaming group, but that's where we met.

So, no. He's NT through and through, but he's been kind enough to adapt to many of my needs.

To address the gender-role theory: I have not adapted to have more NT traits in return. I have, if anything, allowed myself to become even more atypical in response to his complete acceptance of my strange neurology. I no longer even attempt to hold down a job or fake my way through family get-togethers, and work from home on sporadic contracts for web development and hosting.

However, my mother seems to have become more AS-like since my diagnosis as a response to my Aspie traits. It's terribly annoying since she seems to be acting out for all the wrong reasons. AS behavior coming out of irrational emotional response, unchecked and unexamined, is NOT healthy. Now that I'm honest about some of the things I go through - like the rocking, throwing things, random running, aggressive thoughts, depression, and head-banging I've hidden for years out of fear I would be sent to a mental hospital - she seems to think that it gives her permission to throw a random tantrum too. Then she'll say things like, "See? I have traits." I know better than to correct her, at this point.

My husband of 12 years hasn't become aspergated but something else has happened. He is avoidant,
whereas with my first husband I felt I had to fight off socialising all the time. In this relationship, I am
the social butterfly by comparison. It feels very strange. I found it doesn't work to try and include my
husband but I do feel resentful when he takes an interest in the people I know "behind the scenes". So
I usually don't tell him much.

I feel that someone in the household has to know other people in the area where we live, and it looks
like it has to be me. But him having second-hand knowledge of other people isn't going to help him
if he ever needs it, as they don't know him, so I don't want to create the false impression in him that he
"knows" anyone around here when he doesn't. I hope this makes sense.