The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Yikes!

Life begins at 40, long childhood=long life.

I am 53, female, and strongly (155pro 33NT) Aspie. Glad I found the definition - I needed theory to back up my reality. Glad to know all youze fellow Dinos.

As I peruse the site I am realizing that to grow up as I did, with complete ignorance of AS by meysef and all around me may have been better than growing up AS now. I was left to face reality all by myself, but at least I had no bloody drugs.

I mean: is there truly a pill to confer the ability to sense another's emotions? Is there a pill to allow an aspie to control his/her own emotions? No? didn't think so.

I think back to my youth, what did I need? I needed to know that I was valuable, good at some things. And I needed knowledge straight up: no ice no soda, about the things that I would have to work extra hard at. I needed to know the importance of social skills. I needed a handbook.

I see no young ones on this site discussing learning with their various specialists. I see fluency in pahrmacuticals. I see anger I see depression.

I am glad I was raised back then!

What about an aspies for aspies site? Could we not learn to "identify" (do not approve of diagnose) ourselves and teach each other the things which we hav learned?

Better than pills.

56 here and I'll post later, it's my nap time.

postpaleo

Hello, Yowling Cat,
I liked your description of your little guest house you lost in the '96 flood. When I cold turkey'ed off of Celexa, I lived in a small storage shed in Ruch in the Applegate Valley above Jacksonville here in Southern Oregon.
I hear we Aspies fixate on geographical locations. Although I was born and raised in Wichita, KS, my heart has ever been in Oregon, from my first memory and I have lived in Portland, Hood River, Eugene and my heart of hearts, the Applegate Valley between Medford and Grants Pass.
I have a sweet butthead named Makushla (my darlin' in Celtic) and am 57 years old. I was diagnosed about 4 months ago and am working on integrating it into my life. I must say, it is a great relief to me to see myself so clearly in the books and articles.
Like wandering through a Fun House of Mirrors my whole life and bang! there I am in a true mirror.
Merle

Welcome! Another Oregonian. Dear me. It's getting damp in here.

All y'all who are new to the Cafe, just pull up a chair and set yourselves down. The coffee's hot and there are DOUGHNUTS! Free today.

Xenon sez:
I have told absolutely no one offline about me having AS. What would be the point?

Can't speak to your own reasons for not sharing, however I can speak to the point.

I came out when I found out, cause when I found out I was scared, really scared. I talked to Roger N Meyer in Portland who ended my fears quickly when I whined to him "but I don't want anyone to find out" and he calmly stated "but my dear, they already know." And they did.

But there was somthing they did not know. As I unobtrusively attributed my inability to recognize other's faces, my gears and pulleys on my mouth that only will obtain a grimace rather than a smile and my embarassing gullibility = people started to seek me out.
Now, a mother with a son with AS is a supervisor I can go to at work instead of melting down alone. A grandmother with a grand child with AS that comes to me for understanding and yes, hope that her grand daughter will be self sufficient and take her 'disorder' in hand and do that marvelous thing we do. . .we manage.
I am content with my decision to pioneer, to let people know that it is not a 'disorder"in the only way that works, by example.
Merle

Xenon sez:
I have told absolutely no one offline about me having AS. What would be the point?

Can't speak to your own reasons for not sharing, however I can speak to the point.

I came out when I found out, cause when I found out I was scared, really scared. I talked to Roger N Meyer in Portland who ended my fears quickly when I whined to him "but I don't want anyone to find out" and he calmly stated "but my dear, they already know." And they did.

But there was somthing they did not know. As I unobtrusively attributed my inability to recognize other's faces, my gears and pulleys on my mouth that only will obtain a grimace rather than a smile and my embarassing gullibility = people started to seek me out.
Now, a mother with a son with AS is a supervisor I can go to at work instead of melting down alone. A grandmother with a grand child with AS that comes to me for understanding and yes, hope that her grand daughter will be self sufficient and take her 'disorder' in hand and do that marvelous thing we do. . .we manage.
I am content with my decision to pioneer, to let people know that it is not a 'disorder"in the only way that works, by example.
Merle

In response to nutbag's comment about today's ASpies being over-medicated.

I agree, thus far I've heard a lot about the various drugs prescribed for Aspie-ness, but very little as far as 'learning therapy'. As an example, I've posted replies to guys who ask why they have trouble dating NT girls. (In the Love and Dating forum) I've mentioned that NT girls like a chap to look stylish and well-dressed. Inevitably the reponse runs along the line of "if I wear nice clothes, then I'm not being me." Clothes do not make us, or break us. You can be a millionaire and dress like a homeless person. In fact I once heard that about one of the Vanderbilt heirs, wearing shabby clothes when they went out. Wearing nice clothes is just a way to 'fit in' with the crowd. If you're a professional such as a barrister, you bloody well wear a suit and tie. NT women are, of course, big on this sort of thing. The guys don't even want to try a little 'behaviour modification'. But to be accepted, we must learn some behaviours to just fit in with the 'herd'. Certainly this goes with eye contact, it's simple to practice, and get to a 'normal' limit. But do the younger Aspies practice behaviours? From the posts I've read, it seems like they don't...

I'm not 40 yet, but in under 20 years I'll be a 40 year old virgin. They should make a movie about me.

Scoot, both of ya ! ! Elder Aspies only ! ! Yew kids are always sneaking into our threads ! !! !

It helps to have an NT mask handy.

I once demonstrated to friend that I could wind up an NT lad who was a football nut. I don't follow it, and know next to nothing, but I got him going something wonderful. Afterwards he thought I must be quite knowledgible regarding teams, and scores.
So many ASpies post about NT's intimidating them, scaring them. Really now, just think of them as the Wizard of Oz. They appear scary, but there's always a man behind the curtain. As Starr has posted, if they intimidate you, return the favor. Call their bluff, as they say in poker. Bark back at the barking dog.