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I started this thread on Aspergian Elder Council, and would like to see things people have learned over the years, be they simple or complicated, mundane or philosophical.

I'll start.

I've learned that smiling at people seems to make a difference in how they treat me. If I have my normal flat affect face, they respond back in a not-so-nice way. If I smile when greeting them, talking with them, especially at work, I get much more positive encounters.

Also, I've learned that when you work somewhere, it's good to say "Good Morning" or some other social nicety when you see a coworker first thing.

Depends. Depends on what coping skills are working. When most are working well, I'm a chameleon. I don't recall anymore when I learned it, I was pretty young. So now that I don't choose to pick up the skills, I stick out like a sore thumb. If anybody could get close enough to actually see me.

Probably the first skill I used, that I can recall is humor. I found out people would laugh at me, I then figured out what to do to make them laugh when I wanted to or to please them, in another direction, then I more easily fit in with the crowd. Control issue I suppose. Not hard to figure out I was the class clown. School was a horror. Got put in the advanced classes and get ripped apart by adults because I didn't "perform" well. Odd didn't want unwarrented attention and to do it, put myself on the stage, the performer. Was painful to do, but I guess I figured the unwarrented was more so. Not that that didn't happen as well. I suspect I still do it here and yeah get cut from time to time, not unjustified, my sense of humor is odd.

Other skills came later, probably some at the same time, I probably don't even know them all anymore. I have no doubt any more that dad was an aspie. Didn't have a clue back then when he very seriously told me I should look into acting. Tears of a clown?

Wooden clothespins work great in the kitchen for closing all kinds of bags, from a bag of chips to a frozen bag of peas

- When someone comes by your house, say to drop off something, you should as a polite gesture ask if they want to come in. (Whether they intend to or not is irrelevant apparently)

- If you have invited someone over (hard step already), when they do come in your house, you have to offer them tea or coffee or a drink straight away. (Took me years to figure this out).

If you don't do either of the above, you can be seen as extremely rude.

if you trick yourself you can do half the dishes before you realize what you have done.

everytime you use a dish, RINSE IT OFF and stack it BESIDE the sink, flat ware, glasses RINSE, just train yourself. Then, with out thinking too much about it (the trick is to sneak up on yourself) run the sink or a dishpan in the empty sink and then when it is half way full put a squirt of dish liquid into it and then put in your silver ware to one side and wash your glasses first, then your plates, rinsing and placing them in the dish drainer all in one quick motion, wash, rinse, place in the drainer, finish up with the flat ware and then do the pots/ pans/ then before you pour t he water out, wipe down t he stove and the counters, straightening up as you go. pour out t he dishwater and then sweep the kitchen floor, maybe running a wet mop over the places that has guck from chopping or cooking.
turn out the light and you will be AMAZED that maybe 7 to 10 minutes has elasped since you started.

good luck!

Merle

nod and lean in towards people when you talk to them, not too much, but just enough to let them think you are 'drawn' to them. I don't know why, but they like their personal space teased.

Merle

Try hard to look your best. People respond more favorably to good looking people. This is shallow, but very true.

There really is an Aspergian Elder Council? Someone mentioned it before, but i
thought it was a joke. What is the Aspergian Elder Council if you don' mind me asking?

If you want to be heard: talk. It seems simple enough but it's taken me 22 years to figure it out.

bizarre, the Aspergian Elder Council is where the elder autistic "gods" ponder things...ponder things autisically. That's the rumour anyway....

When a new person moves in your neighborhood, pay a call and/or take something to eat during the moving process. You may make a friend for life. My ESFP mother did this with amazing results. I didn't need to make friends when I was a kid. My mother made them all for me.

Walk a dog in a public park with interesting people. Your dog can make friends for you!

Volunteer. When I was in college I volunteered to help handicapped people and ended up meeting my husband through those connections. I worked with a guy named Randy who had cerebral palsy and would read his longer sophomore English assignments to him since he had a hard time keeping still. It was through him that I met my future husband.

no, we don't mind you asking.

Merle

Especially if your dog is lil and cute!

Oh i see, its some kind of a clique.

no, more of an experiment, bunnies aren't in a clique when they get hair spray sprayed into their eyes, are they?

sorry, didn't mean to be mysterious or exclusionary, Bizarre, it just isn't my story to tell.

Merle