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Telling Office Works I won't take it anymore

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pensieve
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18 Dec 2012, 12:19 am

In my short independent adult life I've had to try and hold myself together in public so I don't make people uncomfortable, call the cops on me, or have me hospitalised.

But there have been times when I really struggle to hold it together and people (usually staff at a store) ignore me.

So today I took a stand. I wrote to them on their Facebook page.

They're going to delete it no doubt so I'm posting it here and on my blog, which is http://latedx.wordpress.com

It will be up there shortly.

Quote:
Dear Sydney Office Works (the one on Parramatta Rd),

I must sincerely thank you for not just once or twice but countless times failing to serve me or asking if I needed any help. I was in a delicate state of mind before and going to Office Works to print two copies of a measly two-page document was the only thing that would have held me together. It was the decision between curling up into the foetal position with self-decrepit thoughts or getting these documents printed out at Office Works. But that is neither here or there, as those confusing neurotypicals say.

You might not have been aware by my staring at the ceiling and batteries on display for about an hour in between nervous pacing, that I am autistic. So I cannot simply speak up as it is primarily a communication disorder. It’s not the fault of your staff for missing the obvious signs, but it is for ignoring someone who was clearly struggling. And to that lovely stranger behind me who didn’t do a damn thing when I held my head in what could have looked like agony and that at that very moment I was having my third panic attack building up to a seizure, I thank you. I keep forgetting why I have such disdain for neurotypicals but you reminded me. Everyone there who didn’t help and just stared at me blankly as though I was carrying a concealed weapon, I thank you.

You See, I had to hold back the tears and the violent outburst (to myself) that usually happens when I get under such severe stress, because people would have thought the worst of me. I’d like to thank the lying sensationalist media for that.

So I held it in and collapsed under the weight of it all. I so wanted to collapse on the floor and start hitting myself. I should have. That would have showed you. But I don’t like to burden people with my weirdness. That was one reason I entered the store alone. I’m trying to become independent and was set right back today.

Eventually, I had to get help from outside and my friend whom I live with and have only known for a year turned the most stressful meltdown inducing task that no one bothered to help me with into something fun to laugh about. I didn’t even feel embarrassed that I had missed the card vendor that I kept passing because my brain couldn’t focus properly. I’m not even going to bother to explain how I process information differently but I will tell you I have to take medication to process information like you normal people do.

I don’t want any vouchers or money back or anything like that from you. I’m not going to forget about this and it takes me awhile to forgive people. You don’t even have to reply to this. I just want the next time you see someone who enters that store and seems to be lost or struggling, to actually give them a hand. But does this mean I will never come back into your store? Hell no. I’ll be back in my dark sunglasses, with my awkward gait and my lack-of-eye-contactedness or goggling-at-people-too-much-it-makes-them-feel-uncomfortable and my obsession with staring at the battery display. I’ll be back to purchase myself a printer! And possibly some ink. Maybe an iPad stylus and some Doctor Who stationary…

This isn’t the first time I’ve been ignored to the point of a mental breakdown and I hope leaving this here on your page can create more awareness about the autistic adults who have left home and are trying to become more independent, and they are still struggling and are probably worse off without the help of parents or family members.

I just want you to keep it in mind. People need not fear or ignore mental illness and mental disorder. They need to support it.


I just want this to circulate on the web like an Australian bush fire on a windy summer's day.


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pensieve
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18 Dec 2012, 12:39 am

Blog post is up. If you're an adult and have had to face something similar every time you enter a big busy store, then no longer should you sit on your knees. We can change the way people treat us!

I'm kind of you know, channelling the activist in me...

http://latedx.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/ ... -meltdown/


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18 Dec 2012, 6:28 am

Office works is particular bad with customer service. Usuly I prefer not to be pounced on when I've just tentatively entered a store to see if I need help making a purchase. However office works is not a clothing store and its so big I usually need someone to point me in the right direction. Visually I get overwhelmed and just stare in amazement at all the things they have incapable of remembering or focusing on the purchase plan. I went to office works the other day and had to walk up each isle 3 times in the whole building before finding a worker crouching down packing shelves up the back of the store. You have to then accost them and insist they help you.
Good luck with your email to them


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JBlitzen
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18 Dec 2012, 6:33 am

Remember that the fact that they don't help you might just mean that either 1) they don't know whether you need help, or 2) they don't know how to help you if you do. Just because you know something doesn't mean they know it as well.

That doesn't make them as*holes.

(Though in any room with three or more people, at least one of them is, in fact, an as*hole. I'm just talking about the others, heh.)

It might help for you to learn some words to say in a situation like that to indicate that you need help. "I'm really shy" or something. "Autistic" is obviously far more accurate, but of course it's not as widely understood.

Others in here may have suggestions on that note. You'd be surprised what the right words can elicit from people you expect little of.


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pensieve
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20 Dec 2012, 1:59 am

JBlitzen wrote:
Remember that the fact that they don't help you might just mean that either 1) they don't know whether you need help, or 2) they don't know how to help you if you do. Just because you know something doesn't mean they know it as well.

That doesn't make them as*holes.

(Though in any room with three or more people, at least one of them is, in fact, an as*hole. I'm just talking about the others, heh.)

It might help for you to learn some words to say in a situation like that to indicate that you need help. "I'm really shy" or something. "Autistic" is obviously far more accurate, but of course it's not as widely understood.

Others in here may have suggestions on that note. You'd be surprised what the right words can elicit from people you expect little of.

What if you have lost the capacity to speak? I was already in a delicate state of mind.

I was pacing back and forth. I went to a different desk. All the one guy said is, not even to me, if you're in a rush use the self service. You needed a card for it!

My friend said they were known for their lack of customer service.

This doesn't just happen at Office Works, but several other places. I think I'm serious about not suppressing a meltdown. Things need to change! Actually my next blog will be about treating those with differences like they are actually human. It relates to mass shootings. See where I'm going with this?

I'm a socialist; I do not just take things lying down. If we are trying to change people's perceptions after the media said people with autism could have the potential to be mass murderers, then we should also push for them to actually start caring about us, to not reject us. It doesn't matter if you put tighter control on guns (not touching that with a 1000ft pole) or extend mental health services and make them more accessible, as long as people beat us down there's always going to be someone pushed too far they commit an act like this. I'm not just talking about autism, other neurological disorders, or mental illness. I'm talking about people that don't fit society's mould of a socially acceptable person.

I'm in Australia and I feel this way. I have adequate mental health services. I even postpone appointments (because for a while I was too scared to take the train to see my doctor) for months. I have a good psychiatrist. My ADHD is medicated. My depression will soon be medicated. I've even seen my doctor so many times and we're on such good terms I forget to talk about my crushing anxiety. Next month I will make sure I do this. I'm even on the pension and live with a supportive family. Other family members are not so supportive.

Also, people in Australia think we need better mental health services. Maybe. I'm content with what I got though.

The type of meltdowns I have are quite hazardous to my mental health. Severe stress gives me seizures. I can get tonic clonic but it's usually complex partial with hallucinations and killer migraines. I get sensory overload every time I leave my house. I hardly go into big stores but when people aren't there to help because they think I can cope I've got to do it alone, and the more sensory overload/seizures I get result in cognitive regression. And I've had quite enough of that.

Is it wrong for me to try and take a stand? Actually, I don't care to listen to people anymore. I've been beaten and broken for too long. My weapon of choice are my words.

It's ok if you don't repost. It's pretty emotional driven. I'll just leave it up on my blog and see what my readers think. I have sent it to an advocacy group in Australia.

Office Works hasn't replied. Time to buy a printer. :twisted:

As soon as I get enough money I'm moving out of this stinking city. It gives me migraines.


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JBlitzen
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20 Dec 2012, 3:12 am

Take it easy.

You don't get to criticize others for not solving your problems until you first take steps to solve them yourself.

If you tend to "mute up" under stress, as many AS people do, how about carrying cards that say something like "I have autism and have difficulty speaking, please be patient" or something?

Your doctor might be able to help you prepare them, or other WP members.

That would give you something to hand out to someone when you get stuck.


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Venusflower67
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20 Dec 2012, 4:28 am

Actually, Blitzen that's what I was thinking :)

Even if it is something simple like, 'Can't talk when stressed but need help with purchase, please' written on a card. And the thing is, once you keep going back to the same store, use the same bus route, etc etc, you will meet people who will begin to know you and start opening you up in communicating with them. Yeah, sure it might be through using written cards at first, but its still communication nonetheless. Perhaps before you go on a specific outing, make a list of some possible scenarios and write up some cards that may be useful depending on each scenario.

Even better, you could do some 'practice runs' on outings that do not involve an actual 'errand' as such, but just to get you used to going out. Again, make up some cards asking a simple question...just to give you some confidence in actually using the cards and to help you learn to discriminate between who may be best to help you. Do the same outing over and over again til you feel confident. The more successes you build in your experience the better able you will be able to deal with new experiences.

Good luck and let us know how you go :)

Maz



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20 Dec 2012, 7:00 am

pensieve wrote:
In my short independent adult life I've had to try and hold myself together in public so I don't make people uncomfortable, call the cops on me, or have me hospitalised.

But there have been times when I really struggle to hold it together and people (usually staff at a store) ignore me.

So today I took a stand. I wrote to them on their Facebook page.

They're going to delete it no doubt so I'm posting it here and on my blog, which is http://latedx.wordpress.com

It will be up there shortly.

Quote:
Dear Sydney Office Works (the one on Parramatta Rd),

I must sincerely thank you for not just once or twice but countless times failing to serve me or asking if I needed any help. I was in a delicate state of mind before and going to Office Works to print two copies of a measly two-page document was the only thing that would have held me together. It was the decision between curling up into the foetal position with self-decrepit thoughts or getting these documents printed out at Office Works. But that is neither here or there, as those confusing neurotypicals say.

You might not have been aware by my staring at the ceiling and batteries on display for about an hour in between nervous pacing, that I am autistic. So I cannot simply speak up as it is primarily a communication disorder. It’s not the fault of your staff for missing the obvious signs, but it is for ignoring someone who was clearly struggling. And to that lovely stranger behind me who didn’t do a damn thing when I held my head in what could have looked like agony and that at that very moment I was having my third panic attack building up to a seizure, I thank you. I keep forgetting why I have such disdain for neurotypicals but you reminded me. Everyone there who didn’t help and just stared at me blankly as though I was carrying a concealed weapon, I thank you.

You See, I had to hold back the tears and the violent outburst (to myself) that usually happens when I get under such severe stress, because people would have thought the worst of me. I’d like to thank the lying sensationalist media for that.

So I held it in and collapsed under the weight of it all. I so wanted to collapse on the floor and start hitting myself. I should have. That would have showed you. But I don’t like to burden people with my weirdness. That was one reason I entered the store alone. I’m trying to become independent and was set right back today.

Eventually, I had to get help from outside and my friend whom I live with and have only known for a year turned the most stressful meltdown inducing task that no one bothered to help me with into something fun to laugh about. I didn’t even feel embarrassed that I had missed the card vendor that I kept passing because my brain couldn’t focus properly. I’m not even going to bother to explain how I process information differently but I will tell you I have to take medication to process information like you normal people do.

I don’t want any vouchers or money back or anything like that from you. I’m not going to forget about this and it takes me awhile to forgive people. You don’t even have to reply to this. I just want the next time you see someone who enters that store and seems to be lost or struggling, to actually give them a hand. But does this mean I will never come back into your store? Hell no. I’ll be back in my dark sunglasses, with my awkward gait and my lack-of-eye-contactedness or goggling-at-people-too-much-it-makes-them-feel-uncomfortable and my obsession with staring at the battery display. I’ll be back to purchase myself a printer! And possibly some ink. Maybe an iPad stylus and some Doctor Who stationary…

This isn’t the first time I’ve been ignored to the point of a mental breakdown and I hope leaving this here on your page can create more awareness about the autistic adults who have left home and are trying to become more independent, and they are still struggling and are probably worse off without the help of parents or family members.

I just want you to keep it in mind. People need not fear or ignore mental illness and mental disorder. They need to support it.


I just want this to circulate on the web like an Australian bush fire on a windy summer's day.
its highly unlikely that explaining to your employers your disability will get them to change or help you.
ask to get all there complaints about you in writing,it will greatly boster a social security disability claim


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