A Short Note to Ableists

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Thank you so much for telling me how great your efforts have worked out.

I'm glad you have found contentment. But please stop telling me that if I lived my life like you do, I too will find contentment. You don't know me, you don't know what works for me.

I'm not going to play along with your ableist agenda. I don't exist to validate your experience.

I'm not going to keep striving for a happiness that is unattainable. And I'm not going blame myself when I have done nothing but try to live my life.

Functional people of the world, carry on. But don't s**t on me to validate yourself. Things are hard enough, I don't need false prophets to lure me with their own narcissism.

I agree.

We should not be bashing each other on this forum for what we do with our lives or having a have a superiority complex telling others what they should do.

Thanks Andre.

I think part of the attitude of ableist autistics comes from ToM issues. "It worked for me, so it works in general." But it doesn't necessarily follow.

What bugs me is the superior attitude of ableists. That they have tried harder, worked harder ... But the issues people face are not fixed. and the ways of coping are varied.

Further, I have noticed that ableists seem to assume that social success is the measure one's worth. This is just not the case. A solitary life is as valuable as any.

Quoted from the other post:

Also, notice how the educated, employed, supported (the lucky)...end up belittling those who haven't achieved as much as they have? Even if they've only just recently become employed through support, or received support in education, or Hell, didn't need support in the first place.

How often do I see this? All those smug people looking down on us unworthys? The classic, "I did it, and if you can't you're a lazy bas***d".

Somehow I feel they're taking out their insecurities on anyone who resembles something they dislike about themselves. Projection, in other words.

Last edited by smudge on 06 Mar 2015, 10:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've come to view people who measure success and worth by how well one is socialized as very shallow and sad. Try not to give them too much power over you.

I guess it just irks me because this is supposed to be a support forum, not a "look at how great and functional I am" one. And the element of blame that is inherent...that I am not trying. That I am a blemish on the autistic community.

Like I've said, I have nothing against people whose efforts have improved their situation. My efforts have improved my own situation from what it used to be. Even though I haven't reached the heights of contentment and happiness, I haven't passed out drunk in the park lately either. One must set one's goals appropriately.
The way some people go on about themselves in the guise of offering help is pure vanity.

I agree, the purpose of this forum is to provide support for those who struggle with a disorder; not belittle and judge those who may have a rougher time than than others. Hopefully we can all learn something from each other use it to out advantage.

Something I've noticed about ableists myself, is that they think the only way to have a good quality of life is to be like everyone else, to be "normal". But who are they to decide what the quality of life really is? Especially given the fact that they've only lived one kind of quality of life for their whole lives, and for that reason alone, they can't possibly have an unbiased viewpoint. Nobody really can.

With me, I know my life isn't perfect, nobody's life is, but I'm happy with what I have because I know it could be a million times worse. And to have someone else tell me that I'm not living to their expectations is just insulting to me, and I always retort with "well, considering you're judging my life and comparing it to yours, you're not living up to my expectations either, so get over it".

Jaden, that is well said.

thank you

I agree.