How is it unhealthy?

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Yeah, I'm the same way. I only like being around people I feel comfortable around. Luckily I have a friend who lives in the same town as me and she has some mental problems as well so we kind of get along and feel comfortable around each other. I've also known her since high school. Also, if I feel that my life is getting too crazy here I know that I can go to her place if I need a break from my mom or whatever. It's good to always have a place to go or a friend to call as a back-up plan when you're really depressed.

lostgirl 1986...... do you think if i meet a girl while i am out socalising with my friends that she would not be impressed if i told her that i was out of work and unemployed?????

Last edited by Jamesy on 12 Mar 2012, 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can also only make halfway normal eye contact with people I'm comfortable around...otherwise its no eye contact with hardly any exceptions. Even when I've had to talk to cops........I feel kinda threatened by them due to being treated like a criminal when I was 15 for telling them information they wanted so yeah certainly no eye contact there. Last time I just said 'its an issue I had since I was a kid.' had to say something because they where taking the lack of eye contact as a sign I was high.....so yeah I had to come up with a reasonable explanation because I guess no eye contact=high? what?.........I could see maybe red eyes, tiny pupils or huge pupils but the direction they are pointed? lol

Well, going outside is good, imo. I know in my current house, the ventilation is bad, and there's just not enough oxygen in the house. So going out is good, as sunshine is good, and like, being outside is just good.

That said, if you wanna go out more, just go hike or something. So many times, I'd go out riding my bike alone, or go hiking, whatever, just completely by myself. I don't like my current house and living situation much, and when that happens, a lot of times I have a tendency to go driving with zero destination in mind, just driving for the sake of driving. Basically, all those activities allow me to go "out" without really getting to know people. Especially driving is good, as I can passively blast by the entire world, or allow myself to be a short time in an area that's good and I find peaceful and comfortable, even if I do have to go back home.

That said, I'm "out" everyday once a day most days, as I ice skate everyday. Lately people have been saying that's bad and I should concentrate more on work, and I even got driven into like, kinda bad "depression" or something over people telling me that. But, I always try to skate, as it makes me very happy, and my ice time and gym membership is $30 a month.

But yeah, getting out to me, means literally that, it doesn't mean me going out with friends and socializing. Far from it. In fact, none of my friends are terribly interested in hiking, skating, etc, so I never have friends with these activities. I have a few older (40+) acquaintances skating, but I don't really interact with anyone my age there. I do hate skating on days where there's a lot of people, especially teenagers/college aged folks, part of it's social, and part of it is I should be going to the much more expensive figure only sessions.

Anyway, again, you basically should try to get outside, even if it doesn't mean interacting with people. Then again, I'm never "bored" and I'm always able to figure out something to do, usually without other people being involved, so that helps things. I mean your brother is sorta being anecdotal, but really, going outside is good for you.

It depends on the girl really. Some girls may look past that and some girls may not. You can try an online dating site. I usually don't try to judge guys right off the bat. Personally, I wouldn't judge somebody who was unemployed, I'd be more worried if they were unemployed and didn't have any goals to get a job or go back to school ever again. It might help if you found a girl who is going through the same thing as you right now, that's why I say try a dating site.

Yeah, some cops just love the power trip... I kind of feel threatened when talking to a person of authority. I had an eye contact problem as a little girl until my teacher and my mom had a conference and they made me practice looking into peoples eyes when talking. I still have a video tape of me in kindergarten saying a nursery rhyme but I'm not looking into the camera, I'm looking off to the side. It's kind of embarrassing because you see every other kid looking right into the camera. After my mom basically punished me and drilled me into looking right into peoples eyes I did after that but still to this day I can't look at someone directly into their eyes without turning away for one second, I kind of avert my eyes to the side and look back...or if I'm really close to the person, like in the front seat of a car I tend to just look out the window. I think it's basically something you have to practice even if it doesn't come naturally to you, it didn't to me until I had to discipline myself to do it especially because my mom was threatening to punish me if I didn't start. I feel for you though. People suck

Your brother is full of balderdash. Healthy is healthy, and happy is healthy. So if you're happy in the house, that's HEALTHY. Sure, we all need to work our bodies physically, but you can do that just as well in a house, as in a park. To lie on a couch all day would be very bad for the heart and the body in general, but to like to be alone and stay indoors doing stuff is perfectly healthy. In fact, I get sick when I spend too much time out & about, and mingling with people too much.

Charles

That, and one needs copious amounts of sunlight during the first half of the day in order to maintain the body's circadian rhythm (day / night rhythm). If your retinas don't register enough sunlight, serotonin levels will be too low during the day and melatonin levels will be up instead, which causes depression, tiredness and listlessness. If you (I mean the OP) spend most of your time indoors, I recommend vitamin D3 supplements as well as a full-spectrum lamp for light therapy to avoid seasonal affective disorder.

They think sunshine is good for your skin.

lolwut

I'd prefer not to trigger more anxiety attacks by trying to force myself to sustain eye contact, ignore the discomfort/anxiety it causes and somehow also pay attention to what is being said. I mean I grantee my not making eye contact probably does not cause people that much discomfort I mean I doubt anyone has an anxiety attack over me not making eye contact.......they might find it weird but I am sure I would consider some things about them weird to.

Usually this is said by people who themselves would feel unhealthy if they stayed inside all day.
For someone whose passion is indoors (even if that passion is enjoying the rich idiocy of the interwebz all day)
it's not really applicable.

Its just good to get out of the house once in a while go out with some friends or family get some fresh air and sunshine or just going outside to tan but I dont tan I turn red and then get white as a ghost its the downside of being ginger but my freckels tan haha the rest of my skin doesnt.

I can't speak for anyone else but it actually feels pretty mentally unhealthy for me. I can't stand being inside all day, it makes me feel dazed and burnt out.

that's probably true but i think it's also possible to think you feel perfectly healthy then you change something in your life and feel that much better. Why not strive to feel better/healthier, it makes life easier i find.

I guess with something like going outside you have to balance the negatives (lot's of people, noise etc) to the positives (physical activity, change of environment, stimulation etc.)

I feel that there are health benefits that are universal and physiologically based but the benefits may be masked by other negatives for some people. perhaps a different outdoor environment like a quiet green space or early morning walk etc is something they would benefit from.

I rarely leave my house. Only times I do are the obvious commitments like going to class, work, and meals in the dining hall, as well as the occasional meeting. Otherwise I'm fine being cooped up indoors with my computers.

I wish I could be with friends more, but I prefer when they come over to my house and be with me. Selfish, perhaps. Better for me, definitely.

If you don't get what my mom calls "cabin fever" or go "stir-crazy" (ways she describes her Aspie son (me) being indoors all day) then clearly you're not doing anything wrong. If you're happy in your current routine, there's no need to change anything - and if you do change something and don't like it, then you at least have something tried and true to which you can go back.