Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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Firebird, Angel_Ryan, you are MORE than welcome on this threa. Please post here as much as and whenever you want.

To that note - everyone is welcome here for discussions and chat revolving around the topic of the thread Aspergers/Bipolar.

I actually have a lot in common with you Firebird. I was diagnosed with Ultradian (ultra ultra rapid cycling) bipolar 2 and have also experienced what I'd describe to be episodes within episodes. Several episodes a day is most common although I've had consistent episodes lasting over a week.

My default mode is positive/optimistic though, even when/if I seem negative.

I need everybody's love and support right now as I am struggling. I've barely slept the last few days and think I am suffering hypomania. Been rapidly alternating between extremely hyped up, extremely on edge, & extremely irritable. As I'm on holiday visiting friends every day there's no way for me to slow down even if I could.

Btw, I agree this thread would be appropriate for discussion of schizoaffective bipolar.

I feel like there's a PSTD component to some of my BP symptoms. When you have ASDs it's like your constantly being hit with the trauma of being different and struggling with things most people don't. People could be bulling you emotionally and not even know it. Part of getting over my really bad depressive episode that almost killed me, was getting an autism DX and then coming to terms with the challenges I'm going to be facing all my life. This meant realizing that I'm not necessarily going to mature as an adult like my peers. I can't expect the same from myself as someone who doesn't face my challenges. I can't be as perfect as I want to be even if perfect for me meant just being able to handle things as well as NTs do. I can't let someone uneducated about my condition come down on me for not being able to function as well as they do. I can't let their words hurt me, and I can't let what I can't handle, or what I wont but wanted to accomplish hurt me.

Actually there's a guy that does really good youtube videos that address the emotional/PSTD aspects of BP. I found them helpful especially spiritually. I don't completely agree with him on some things though.
http://www.youtube.com/user/bipolarorwa ... nsTNEXMRL8

Ok - question for those on the thread: when were you diagnosed with bipolar and when we're you diagnosed with AS? I only had my final fully confirmed diagnosis of bipolar about a month ago, so it's still all very new to me (I've had the bipolar symptoms for several years, but I had just assumed they were more AS symptoms - as I was diagnosed with that 11 years ago) but I'm trying to learn as much as I can, as quickly as I can. I could go to bipolar support forums also, but I prefer discussing it in here because it feels safer.

It was before the AS DX for me. The AS DX greatly helped me out me though. I use the autism services more than the normal psychiatric ones available to me because I feel mistreated by the mental health system. When I was a kid I clearly had ADD and bipolar. I was sent to a Psych and got a poor DX of Learning Disabled. It did not even break the surface of my problems. I didn't get help because I was quite and shy. I was quiet and shy because I was paranoid. Partly because I didn't know how to socialize properly and also because I thought the government was watching me at age 8. I'm really glad I got over my childhood paranoia. I used to think people in stores who were watching security cameras wanted me to do something bad so they'd get to arrest me. My parents never knew. Although my mother was very strict and overbearing and I could've just been misinterpreting her domestic abuse as a reason to be scared of other people. I'm still coming to terms with it. My mom was kinda messed up when I was younger.
I personally feel a lot safer discussing it here than on the typical mental health forms. I feel my AS symptoms give me a different experience than normal BP ppl. Although I've thought about using http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/ to discuss it, There are lot of people on there with an ADHD/ASD Diagnosis in addition to BP or schiz. I might use it in the future but for now I'll mainly stick to WP because it has more variety of interesting discussions not limited to MH.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar as a child, and only identified as having AS. I'm unclear as to why they chose not to make AS an official diagnosis.

Hello! I have a question for you all. BiPolar runs in my family, on my mother's side. My grandmother was BiPolar, probably BiPolar I, and she wasn't diagnosed or treated until her mid 50's. My aunt is suspected to be BiPolar but she refuses to get tested or treated for it. My mother also thinks that her grandfather (my grandmothers father) was BiPolar. It seems to happen at least once every generation. Well, thus far nobody in my generation has been diagnosed.

In 2006 and then again last year I had doubts of Depression and was diagnosed with MDD. Last year I also noticed I had times, just a few hours long, where even though I had been depressed, I felt extremely happy and chatty. Usually that happened when I was up all night long. I remember almost feeling out of control, like I would tell myself to stop talking, but I couldn't. Last year I was hospitalized for Depression and I had a few bouts of that there. I could tell the staff were getting annoyed and thought I was crazy, and normally I refused to interact with them, but there was at least one time that I followed some of them around, chatting about nothing, telling them to wake people up because I was bored and wanted to talk and I was pretty much vibrating with energy, even though I hadn't slept at all the night before. Maybe it was because I refused to take my meds the night before, but after that day I was labelled BiPolar I rapid cycling.

After I got home I talked to my psychiatrist and she said that she doesn't think I have BiPolar disorder at all, that she still thinks it's MDD. And I kind of agree because those hyper periods only lasted between 2009 and 2010. Since the summer of 2010 I have not had any depression or hyper-ness. And even when I did have them they weren't frequent. Maybe two or three times a year for maybe 4-5 hours each. After that I was fine. But during those times I was almost manic and literally felt like I could do anything. I was almost out of control.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is that I was told that for most people BiPolar doesn't get bad until their 20's and I am 21, so I kind of worry that I am BiPolar and it just hasn't gotten that bad yet. I hear stories of my grandmother throwing tv's out the window and chasing people around with huge steak knives and I don't want to be like that. I know there are different severities to BiPolar disorder, but still...So I wonder, when were you guys all diagnosed? And how did they know you were BiPolar? What tests did they do? I have been tested many times when I was younger, but all the tests came back negative. Now that I'm getting older I wonder if maybe things will start showing up, things that I never experienced as a child. I also worry that my parents will disown me if I am BiPolar. My mother has already told me that she won't deal with that again and when I was depressed she told me to move out and never come home, that I wasn't welcome there because she didn't want to deal with me anymore which of course help (sarcasm). As for my father...well he still says that I don't have AS and I don't have depression. He thinks that I'm just not trying hard enough, that (when I am depressed) I just have to try harder to be happy and then BAM all my problems will be solved. Neither are supportive at all and I fear that a potential diagnosis of BiPolar would send them over the edge and they would totally disown me.

You're in a tough spot, Tamsin.

I can't say whether you may have Bipolar Disorder or not, but I can answer your question. I was diagnosed with Manic Depressive Disorder before I was 10 years old. (Old name for Bipolar) Looking back, I showed very clear signs of this. I had periods where I'd be so depressed I could barely move with no discernible cause, and periods where I was bouncing off the walls and couldn't stay still to save my life. I've been this way since I can remember.

One important thing I've learned over the years is that people with Bipolar Disorder need some sort of physical outlet. Not only does it help control the mania/hypomania when it strikes, but it helps level our depressive states to an extent. If you are concerned you may have Bipolar Disorder, then take comfort in the fact that it's relatively mild thus far. It wouldn't hurt to find some kind of outlet to help regulate your moods, even if it's not Bipolar, as regular exercise can help depression.

I have not been diagnosed with AS but I was diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD when I was 14. The symptoms started when I was around 8 years old after my brother, who I was very close to, went missing. The worst part about my condition is that my parents refuse to be supportive of me. It came as a shock to me when I found out that my parents didn't want to accept my condition and allow me to get treated. They kept saying everything was normal and so it was a huge struggle to get myself to be stable. I get suicidal every now and then. The spiritual healing course that I took up an year and half ago helped a lot until I lost my job recently. The depression's flared again with a lot of mood swings.

Thank you:) I've always kind of dreaded any possible BiPolar diagnosis because of the stories my mother told me of her mother, but I think that if I do have it is probably mild. BiPolar II or Cyclothymia maybe. As a child I was relatively "normal" as far as moods go. I always was a bit crabby (my mother said I was born with PMS) but I don't think that has anything to do with mood swings or anything like that. It's probably more to do with AS. It's just something I worry about, although I guess I can rejoice in the fact that, if I do have it, it's probably not very severe.

I also have low self esteem and if I even think that somebody doesn't like me because they used a . instead of a ! that is liable to send me into a bit of depression which usually results in me lying on the floor because I don't have the energy to move. When I get like that, which happens often enough, I always worry "Oh no, I'm BiPolar and now something bad is going to happen. Now I'm going to flip out or something." I've just had so many doctors bring it up, though I've been told by some that I have it and by others that I don't. I guess it's just a waiting game. And I'm sorry for rambling.

Ramble all you'd like. That's what this thread is for. ^_^

I also have problems with thinking people don't like me. I have paranoia issues. It's not insecurity for me, I think they're hiding something or trying to use me.

I have that, though I would call it paranoia. I dislike going out in public because whenever people whisper or giggle I always think they are whispering/giggling about me and are making fun of me which makes me angry or sad and pretty much ruins the whole day for me. I also suspect that when people compliment me, like they are trying to say something nice so I will let my guard down and then they will, I dunno, rob me or something. The funny thing is that I have never been robbed, mugged, assaulted, or even made fun of really, so I don't know where it comes from. Maybe it is paranoia. I'm just convinced that the majority of people aren't to be trusted.

That sounds like paranoia to me. Mine used to be a lot worse than it is now. I used to think people were following me even when I was alone on a street. I'd routinely stop mid-stride and listen for footsteps, rustling leaves, heavy breathing... etc.

I choose, mostly, to trust what people tell me these days. Still, there's always a seed of doubt nesting deep down that I can never seem to shake.

^ I use running to help self treat.

Tasmin, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 ultra ultra (ultradian) cycling this year at the age of 23. To answer your question in the affirmative, this year I sort of "cracked" and developed full blown bipolar/the severity of my symptoms dramatically increased (although I had experienced bipolar symptoms for years previously).

Everyone with bipolar presents differently so you aren't necessarily going to be going about attacking people with a knife if you do have it. I think this is a very extreme example.

Also, if it's any comfort, I've found using my Aspergers logical thinking is a great defense against bipolar emotion driven irrational behaviour. Using logic detached from emotion has already helped prevent me from making bad decisions/lashing out many times.

This is what happens to me and is a bipolar symptom. At these times i can also get slowing down and slurring of speech plus slackening of facial muscles. My psychiatrist says my bipolar symptoms are unusually physically strong - I get quite pronounced physical speeding up and slowing down.

Another thing I've noticed that is weird is that recently I've started disliking people standing behind me. I'm just afraid they are going to attack me when I'm not looking, or at the very least they will make faces at me and people will laugh and I won't know what they are laughing about.


The first time I had a major bout of Depression I actually didn't even know I was Depressed until somebody told me I was. I never noticed any symptoms, no lethargy, no sleepiness, no anything. The second time I noticed that most days I had no energy. I couldn't even get out of bed, or if I did I would lay on the floor all day because I couldn't even sit up straight.

If I may ask, what is physical speeding up and slowing down? What does that look like?