Should I 'give up'?

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The point about finding someone to click with is that.... it's random. Well, if one actively searched it's more like finding a needle in a haystack. And, statistically speaking, there's less gay people.

By giving up I don't mean to delete all of those obscure dating profiles... one might always be possibly drunk and stumble upon it, after all. But... a year and a half has passed since about a dozen were started (just to increase the odds, I assure you) and... well, men get many less messages compared to women in the first place anyway, and some obscure gay aspie gets... well, at least I made an attempt at humour.

I simply sort of want to give up on that hope that lingers on in the background, though... what's the point of believing I have high enough odds to win an unlikely lottery? Before I seemed to win it randomly and without so much of a ticket... but one cannot hope for the unlikely to occur twice in a row. I mean, clearly it would be a fallacy if I thought that only because it happened in the past... more random than stock markets, similarly past performance is no future guarantee.

It's funny, though, how seemingly analogous situations can be reacted to differently... once I had this specific hallucinogenic trip that seemed to rely on so many variables that repeating it seems unlikely... it was made of utter bliss, and although, just like with my first lover, I generally look at the experience with a positive nostalgia, fundamentally I don't think it necessarily has to be repeated (well, different experences are available), because I had already felt fulfilled about it... but how can one feel identically when it comes to sharing life with another person? Somehow it seemed like a lifetime is the only adequate timescale... but, eternal love? I don't easily succumb to delusions, although... it's just too many variables.

Never ever ever ever ever EVER give up.

Just stop focusing on it or obsessing about it. Leave your dating profiles in place and check them out if/when you get a message. Focus on yourself, health, fitness, and things you like to do - and just do them & be you. You never know, you might meet someone by random chance while you're out at the market or going for a hike or doing whatever it is you do - just be open to the possibility.

Fwiw: I'm gay & have less than zero problem meeting other guys for the purpose of hooking up for one night stands if and when the mood strikes. While I've made some awesome gay friends in my life, I've yet to meet someone I want to date or be with that also is interested in me. I've had many guys interested in dating me that I just don't see myself being with. Yet I still have no intentions of giving up, ever. Eventually I'll meet someone I click with and have a relationship, this I know - but when? I don't know that.. I have no set timeline nor expiry date. It happens when it happens. If I'm single for years like a friend of mine because I'm as picky and selective about my type as he is, so be it. If it happens to be that I meet someone tomorrow that I click with, OK. Whenever it's meant to happen it will. Maybe soon, maybe not for years - but I'm not giving up. I'm ever more open to the possibility of meeting someone to date vs. hookup with, and just keeping that open minded outlook is all I need. I don't need to actively be looking for a date (although I somewhat am, but not reeeeeally as so few guys actually interest me in terms of dating.) or spend much time and energy on it. I just kind of keep the idea open in the back of my mind and that's good enough. You can't really force finding love on any sort of timeline.. it just happens when it happens. In the past I've been completely closed off to the idea because I didn't feel I should date anyone as I didn't want to burden them with my depression/anxiety etc, but now that I'm passed that in my life and doing fantastic I keep an open mind about meeting the right guy.. that's all you really can do. So, just stop trying so hard and go with the flow of your life and keep an open mind about the fact that you might just meet someone along the way that you click with.

Yeah, or maybe we'll end up as 90-year-olds still by ourselves.

Maybe.. but at least we'll be rich 90 year olds who never spent any money on dating, relationships, or other mouths to feed.

Money is worthless.

Money isn't everything, but it isn't worthless, either. It comes in pretty handy in order to obtain all of the necessities in life, and then in order to get things/experiences/travels etc that we want. It's a pretty useful tool. Society has accepted money as the currency required to trade for all of these things.. so it certainly has some worth.

Further, it doesn't hurt any to have money & the power and influence that can come along with it when it comes to finding a partner, too. Not that I'd want to be with someone who was primarily attracted to me for my money.. but having no money is certainly unattractive to most people & having some money certainly gives you a lot more choice of who your partner might be.

In a last-bid attempt to salvage my first and only relationship I had finally decided to be open about my bank balance... I did feel filthy... failed epically, of course. Love can't be bought...

Most I can do is find an escort, which I did once, but it's just still so far away from what I desire...

Currently, I barely ever go out... I could, hypothetically, go around the world, at least... but there's no bloody point all alone.

Sounds like you need to deal with your depression & mental health first and foremost before you should be seriously looking for a partner.

I hope that doesn't sound rude. It's the same (very wise) advice I received from a friend in the past.. and it's served me well.

Focus on yourself, your health, your happiness - once you're "whole," you'll have much better luck finding a partner. Until then, if you seek one prematurely, it's going to be stressful, frustrating, and depressing to try & fail. You should always try, of course, but IMO you should try focusing on yourself vs. trying to find love & happiness from another person. Once you're feeling balanced and happy yourself, you won't Need anyone else to feel happy - and that's the best time to add someone into your life, when you can be a net addition to their life & them to yours vs. either of you lacking or feeling down.