How do you feel certain about your sexuality?

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Just asking: is there a definite feeling, or are you always wondering despite finding a label for yourself?

For example, I think I'm asexual, but I'm not 100% certain. There are moments where I ask, "am I really?" It just feels like this gray fog where nothing makes sense... there is no clear answer for me, and I am not sure if there is a way in which I can find an answer. Is anyone else this way?

I know how I feel. — I'm just not allowed to admit it.

If I say I feel aroused in the presence of a woman, she'd probably think I'm a creep or a pervert.
If I tell my male friends I have crush on a hot woman for non-sexual reasons (which I sometimes do), they act like I'm really weird.
The result is that I have sexual interests: I just can't ever talk about them because somehow I always loose.

I used to wonder if I was slightly bi-sexual.
Then I realized that no matter how sexy a man looks to me, I don't want his dick near me. And that was that.

I haven't been sure of my sexuality either. I thought I was straight when I hit puberty because I found women attractive & not guys but lots of my classmates insisted I was gay. I also felt I was born the wrong sex because I related to girls better than guys & had more women friends which was only a few before I hit puberty. I got in a relationship 8 years ago & I quit desiring sex when things got more serious & I had a mental breakdown after things feel part between us & I started taking psych meds that had side-effects of decreasing my drive. I had no interest in sex partly because of my lack of drive & because I kind of blamed sexuality for some of the problems with the relationship & other things. I heard about asexuality & I was sure I was for a while. I questioned if I could be gay some after a bit because gay guys are the only people interested in me & my personality is NOT masculine. I also felt I might be a lesbian in a man;s body some. I sorted some stuff out sense but now I think I'm a borderline asexual because I would be willing to have sex in a serious relationship for my partner's sake & I think I might would enjoy it but never having it wouldn't bother me either & I don't want it outside of a relationship. The asexual community is no longer accepting of me thou; I posted about it in the "aspies feel like they are asexual" post in this section. I guess i know what I am at the moment but it might could change depending.
I'm not sure how others feel certain about their sexuality/asexuality. I sort of guess & question as things in my life or my mind change. I don't conform to any stereotype

Looking at pictures of naked women does nothing for me. Looking at pictures of naked men, however, does. I have no interest in f*****g women, only in f*****g other men. Taking all those things into consideration, I think I can be pretty certain that I am 100% gay.

I'm rather confused about my sexuality. Growing up, I was always attracted to girls/women and never boys/men. This is true even though I secretly wished I could be a woman myself.

However, since starting taking female hormones for a few years, I've noticed sometimes that I wish I could cuddle with some of my male friends. Like, I'll be sitting near them at dinner or something, and get a feeling like i want to cuddle up next to them and kiss them.

My sexual fantasies are now often being with a guy, with me as a woman.

It's strange, because cross-gender hormones ought not to change sexual orientation. After all, gay people wouldn't exist if the type of hormone were the determining factor.

I dont try to find a label for myself. There isnt one that fits.

I'm happy with not haveing a sterotypical label but i know it causes problems for other people who want to fit me
into a sterotypical box about my sexuality.
I dont try to force my sexuality to conform to rules.
It would be nice if people could accept me as i am but then we'd be in a perfect world and the worlds not perfect.

This is all interesting, I love reading what people have to say.

Kittylover, your instance is a perfect example of how things can change. I do think sexuality is fluid and changes over time, which is why I'm hesitant to put a label on myself. But I feel like figuring out what I'm interested in will make things a lot easier.

I think I may be asexual because I feel indifferent to images of reproductive parts, both male and female, as in, not turned on at all. I'd rather cuddle and kiss than have sex - be silly, and be in good company.

The thing is, would this still make me asexual? Aaaah this is all so tricky. I wish people could just exist and live without feeling the need to classify everything. :/

I feel comfortable with ambiguity and complexity, and the need to put people into rigid categories strikes me an aspect of the type of "them and us" tribalism which causes so much harm in the world. I reluctantly use categories for people if given no reasonable alternative, since few people want to open their minds, and I seem to have cultivated resentment by trying to "help" them open their minds. I just try to keep my mind open to the possibility that things will change, and refresh my evaluations at every opportunity.

I feel attracted to lots of women, but only a few men. Sometimes it even lasts beyond talking to them for a few hours!

Ditto.

Anyway, is it important to have a label? I say just go with the flow. You don't have to feel any pressure to define anything.

Because I feel completely sick at the thought of a naked guy, but naked women turn me on.

But as I can romantically like both genders (as in, I could very happily have a romantic relationship with an asexual guy), I often doubt whether I'm actually gay. =S

I don't worry about my label much because I believe labels are used to help explain/define certain aspect of myself. I do NOT try to conform to any label. You need to focus on understanding yourself & the label part isn't required as long as you can explain it to yourself

I've always liked both but identified with neither...

...well sometimes I've liked neither, as well.

I think all labels for sexuality are social constructs. I, um, I stopped worrying. I don't need to be sure of anything. If it feels right, it's fine for me.

I didn't have any sexual interest until I was 18, at which point I started looking for the right girl as the concept of homosexuality had never really been clear to me. Took me a while to figure it out. But how do I know? Simple - I am attracted to guys. Girls, however, I struggle to even remember unless I know them for other reasons (eg. work colleagues).

The fact I've been involved with a few dozen men and zero women is compelling evidence, too.

I had some confusion because I did have a few crushes on girls as a preteen and even when I was 15. But it was more that I liked their personality and admired their appearance in much the way one might admire a beautiful painting. The fact that I was always trying to find porn with hot guys while I really couldn't care less about the women should have given me a clue. Eventually I got over the knee-jerk reaction of shock and (dare I say) disgust and realized that gay porn was far more arousing. The fact that I enjoyed looking at other guys in the changing room should really have been a hint too. Not to mention the giant crush I had on a guy but refused to acknowledge until after accepting that I was gay...

I have questioned my sexuality from a young age. I thought I would have it figured out for sure by this point in my life, but I'm still just as confused as I was when I was a child/teenager. I think that if I had more (read: any) romantic and/or sexual experience, I would have a better idea.

My own fantasies are complicated. I sometimes have romantic fantasies about having a boyfriend or husband, or daydreams about my favorite fictional male characters being in romantic relationships with one another (known as "yaoi" or "slash"). But I dislike the thought of having sex with a man, and any daydreams about favorite fictional male characters always wind up fading to black. I used to think it was just because I was afraid of men either due to my religion or my own insecurities about my body, or even a fear of getting impregnated.

But there is evidence to suggest that I just don't find men sexually appealing. The adult stuff I look at online is centered around other women, either by themselves or with each other. Whenever I'm scrolling through a gallery and see a man's privates, my level of arousal gets knocked down a few pegs. One time a friend of mine bought me a penis-shaped vibrator as a gift, and at first I felt like gagging every time I looked at it. Sometimes I have daydreams about my favorite fictional female characters, and they tend to be much more sexual in nature than my daydreams about male characters. Sometimes I like to imagine myself as the object of affection for my favorite fictional female characters, something I never imagine with male characters.

Everyone I know thinks I'm madly in love with the actor Johnny Depp due to my all-consuming obsession with the characters he portrays in certain movies, but the truth is, I have never really thought of him in a sexual way. I just really love the way he uses his skills as an actor to make his characters sympathetic and appealing. Sometimes I wonder if my adoration of Depp is like a gender-flipped equivalent of some gay men's adoration of women like Judy Garland or Madonna.