Anyone else ever dreams of being raped/restrained?

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How does that arise? In my case, I always thought it's because that's the only form of abuse that my parents didn't deliver (and IMO it's not particularly the worst... usually violence accompanies it, but violence without any sex is like taking the only fun out of a nightmare!)

Who started this thread? Rep. Todd Akin?

You know, rape is a bad thing. No arguments there. But if the OP was abused, it is possible they're so messed up and suffered enough they really look at it that way. You and I don't know what they went through. Rape is not the only bad thing, and we all get messed up in different ways.

Making light of someone else's experience of rape is utterly uncalled for - but in a broader sense, that's almost exactly what you've done to the OP. If they're so damaged they view rape that way for themselves, isn't that a legitimate thing to say, as long as they limit it to themselves?

I think fantasies of rape, and fantasies of dominance-submission, are in the top 5.

And most people, as I'm sure OP does, understand the difference between fantasy and reality.

As the 1700s English philosopher Jeremy Bentham put it, 'Wars and storms are best to read of, but peace and calms are better to endure.'

PS I am not a member of the LGBT community, although I am very much believe a gay, lesbian, bi-, or transgend person has the same rights as anyone else, including the right to marry. I picked up this thread from the main board.

I also have fantasies of rape. Say a situation in which a woman gets a new job and things get out of hand.

Less commonly, myself being submissive.

(Also fantasies of a professional woman taking a good, strong spanking against her will. but that's kind of nickels and dimes compared to rape)

Now, all of this is completely contrary to my beliefs about ethics, but that's kind of the point. That's kind of why it feels fresh, and how it gives me the experience of dancing the other side.

When I was younger I used to feel guilty as sh!t about all this. Now, a little bit I look at it as a source of strength, kind of like understanding a secod language. Sometimes I can see through bullying situations because of it. Or the idea, well that (if done in real life outside clever role play) would just ruin good S & M!
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I grew up in a family which was bullying, angry, and at times violent, and where my mom would usually justify my dad's violence (I later decided she was just saying anything towards the goal of me not being upset).

Well, gay people certainly have natural protection against pregnancies.

Don't you mean ravishment fantasies rather than rape fantasies? You'd actually have to be a bit messed up to fantasise about being raped.

I have them but that doesn't mean I want them to happen in real life any more than I want to be nearly exsanguinated to death in real life (I'm really into vampires).

I have some pretty messed up daydreams and fantasies. It's a way to entertain myself and cope with things. It's harmless and doesn't mean I want to do them in real life any more than watching the Saw movies means that I want to torture and kill people.

Rape fantasies are extremely common, and they are just as healthy as any other type of fantasy.

Role playing these fantasies with a partner requires a great deal of care--but like any sexual activity, so long as the rules of "safe," "sane," and "consensual" are properly observed, there is absolutely no reason that these fantasies should not be indulged.

I definitely have this fantasy, and from both angles (raping and being raped). As mentioned above, it's all just fantasy and fun to role play, but the idea of it happening in real life is terrifying.

G.

Fantasies are a way to play with ideas.

Now, let's suppose one would rather not have a particular thought. An insight from zen is that trying to energetically push out a thought is likely to be counter-productive. In a similar vein, consider an old-line Baptist minister who harps, harps, harps on the evils of card playing. Well, heck, I could have gone all day without thinking of card playing once.

Zen really likes the word 'detachment' (sure, maybe too much, maybe to a fault). So, the theory is that casually, with 'detachment,' one watches a thought float around without investing too much energy either way. And in due time, other more exciting, more energy-filled thoughts will drift in on their own accord.

Or, one can play with thoughts in various ways, including fantasy. It's a personal decision, and doesn't always has to be the same.

I can't have ravishment fantasies any more. I used to when I was a lot younger. After a few life experiences though, I'd rather not think about that sort of thing.

I feel weird for not having those fantasies.

More than a few people have kinky interests, from mild to wild. The general topic is BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism). There's a popular gay website; if anyone is interested, just ask.

Are they? I can understand the idea of women fantasising about being ravished, say, but not really the idea of wanting to be raped unless there's something else going on?

Having a daydream/fantasy doesn't mean you actually want it to happen. At least I don't. It's just entertainment like watching tv.