A Transitioning/SRS question

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True. Sometimes I just want it to be over more quickly so I can get on with my life and move on. But like you say, doing that can make you side-step parts of yourself you might otherwise not to get to properly know or explore.

Its a normal human response. Who wants to prolong pain? Fear? Few people I have ever met.
You walk into this and there are no guarantees.
What will it cost you?
Family? Friends? Career? Love? Your Future? Your Life?

I had a friend once, she had been in living full time for almost all her adult life. She finally had saved up the money to have SRS, had the date set with the Dr.
Then the Dr broke his hip horseback riding, so the surgery had to be postponed. During the time she waited to reschedule, her boyfriend took the money and invested it into an auto repair shop with a friend that flopped. Pooft the money was was gone. So was her chance for SRS.
Being so close and loosing it after a life of trying get it destroyed her.

Even once you get SRS there are no guarantees.
Will you die during SRS? Will there be complications that require further surgeries? Will the surgeon do the repair work and how much will it cost? Will you be able to find the money to have the repair work done? Will you be able to still find happiness if you can't have the repair surgery?
Even successfully post op will you be able to find someone to love you and accept you?

Will you end up trapped in transition? Stuck in a place where the last step is SRS and you cannot find the money or your health changes and no surgeon will risk doing surgery on you?

So many possibilities, so many choices and no guarantees.

And here's the kicker, on the one hand like I said don't rush through it and miss the opportunity for growth and discovery, however don't tally too long because what looks like a sure thing today can disappear in the blink of an eye.

In the end its still a crap shoot. You can do everything by the book and still end up with a nightmare postop or you can totally ignore the book and do everything your not supposed to and have everything go like a walk in the park.
Again no guarantees.
It comes down to simply how bad do you want it, what are you willing to risk, and then paying the piper his due when the dance is done.

What did she end up doing to the boyfriend?

They split up ( of course ).
Last time I saw her which was around 1992 she had given up on SRS and lived in a bottle.

It has been more than 20 years. I wonder what she's doing now.

Hopefully alive and happy. But considering the mental condition she had deteriorated to she is more than likely dead.
The person I knew was a survivor. Sometimes surviving is not enough....

I have been on hormones for 5 years and don't pass at all =(

I've been for 2.5 years now, and I still don't pass as I am unless I really dress up. Not all womens clothing allows me to look feminine,, but I'm sort of in that inbetween stage where everything is awkward. I have breasts that I cannot hide and are very noticable, and my features are masculine but not very much. Because I started HRT so late post puberty, I'm tall, my fat isn't redistributing as much as it has in others, and my shoulders are broad. My hair was thinning falling out, and I've spent money to have hair transplant surgery which seems to have worked and now I'm letting it grow out. I really wish I had been able to start HRT much sooner, like pre-puberty, but it was not so.

There was a website I found where you could submit a facial pic and it would estimate age and gender, and my pics varied depending on what wig, makeup style, and whether it was from when I was much more overweight. It varied from 30%Male/70% female to 90%male/10%female and my age ranged from late 20's up to 50 years old. I'd link, but I'm on a computer that I don't have it bookmarked on.

I was very lucky in that I did not start to hit puberty until my mid to late teens.
My voice never cracked, and I am only around 5'5 in height.
The other big thing is that I started hormones at 19 which I am sure helped a lot.

My biggest weakness is I have hair from hell. Never ever has cooperated. Tempted to just shave it all off and wear a pirate scarf. Far easier to maintain.

Because of the field I work in I must be self employed to maintain a job. And to be self employed costs 200,000 a year in expenses so the 10,000 i get to live on is simply just enough to get by day to day and feel comfortable living how I live. And also the state mandates me to have insurance so why the hell not be able to use it....

I hit my final height, 6'3" / 190 cm, around 13 or 14. At 13, while my dad was parking the car, a Las Vegas casino employee talking to my mom pointed to me and said "your husband". My voice had fully changed by then as well.

I've always had hair from hell, too, and started going bald at 25. I thankfully stopped that by starting hormones, but that only solved one of my thousand problems.

Is it any wonder that I wish I were dead?

I'm almost in the same boat or a very similar boat. I was my full height by age 15 at 6ft4. I was constantly mistaken for my grandmothers son and my fathers brother.

I was trying to be optimistic in my life before I went on my last vacation about transitioning, but I just can't be anymore. Everything is falling apart, and every day, I feel suicidal. I hate my body. I'm now binge eating my feelings away when I don't have alcohol at hand to drown my s**t life in. The highlight of my existence today is to make it through work, get home, get drunk and play skyrim till I pass out. I hate my life.