Ladies and gentlemen... the WrongPlanet writing showcase

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One of the reasons I felt that I wasn't diagnosed properly many years ago was because my poem that I wrote about depression/anxiety/bipolar/mania didn't resonate with ANYBODY who also had those things. I knew something wasn't right.

Maybe it will resonate with people her, or maybe it's just me, which is also fine...

I wrote this probably over ten years ago now, shortly after going back on Prozac (which is one of the only things that ever helped my depression and social issues even a little, but it dulls my three-track mind into one relatively shallow feeling one - I'm not on it at this time, and when I was I had to use the liquid kind and take a child's dose):



tangles of tightly wound electrical wires
each carrying it's own pulse
spark
touched wrong an electric jolt throughout your entire body
another touch and nothing but numbness
that somehow lacks peace
a jumble of black and red and white
no more
no less
frayed ends displaying copper points begging to touch the tip of your tongue
a speedy sensation
a headrush
fingers tingly
sparkling
like white grape juice in a glass
a fraction of a second you hear a child's laughter
turning tinny
to the chiming and ringing of bells
in your ears
as it all fades back into a sudden buzzing jolt
of awareness
stillness
quiet
and you notice your brain is still
you listen
but there is nothing
you wait to feel something
but it doesn't come
you take a breath
look around
put your hands in your pockets
and just walk away

I just wanted to let you know that I'm reading this now and really enjoying it! You made it easy to care abut the characters right away, which is important!

Oh, thank you! That makes me so happy and more than a little embarrassed! I'm going to type the next chapter today, so stay tuned! I'll warn you right up front, though: there are loads and loads of characters and a couple tragic deaths and nightmare fuel later on [but also a lot of funny moments, so it kind of balances out]!

You must be good at writing because I am not a visual/picture thinker, I think in words - like, I hear my own voice talking in my head usually - but when I read good writing, including your story, a picture sort of paints itself in my mind. I can easily see your story being made into an animated series or movie or something, depending on how the story develops.

The other thing that took me by surprise is the fact that I don't normally get interested in fantasy/sci fi but I really wanted to keep reading your story. So it seems to have a wider appeal or else I probably would have gotten bored which didn't happen. I'm excited to keep an eye on this thread to read updates!

I don't think I'd like it to be a movie since then everyone would watch the movie instead of reading the book, although I would like an audio book to be made some day. A lot of people tell me that they can see it in their minds when they read my stuff. So what's your first impressions? Also, pay attention to everything that is said since there are loads of clues about things that happen later on even in the first few chapters!

Thx man. I wrote it in a gated residence where I work as a security guard. It is not real, of course, but nothing is as vivid and inspiring as the scenery just outside my post, and the nights are long:)

I also wrote this. Feel free to give your comments:
http://mokninart.tumblr.com/post/119587 ... terrogator

That makes a lot of sense about wanting to keep it in written form so that people take it in the way that you intended.

My first impression was to think Sivian was an imaginary friend. Next was to think that he was real but still invisible to anyone but her. Third impression was that he will end up being her brother. Fourth was that she will go most of the book thinking he is her brother but will fall in love sort of anyway and near the end find that they're not really related and can go ahead and be a couple. Of course, chances are that none of these are right, which is the fun of reading a story - being surprised at what happens!

Oh, you're making me so excited about all the plot twists coming up again! Thank you!
There's more now, but I stopped in the middle of Ch.4 because yesterday was so busy. I'll try to type a lot more today, though! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rKYUv5NqlagyHHot-djx6pvnqsMvLnqFbqdXWjiszUM/edit

Believe it or not, befor eI even replied this morning I had checked for updates and read what you had for chapter four.

Don't rush to write, knowing you have an audience (which is something I would do, but then it wouldn't come as naturally)... but do know that I intend to keep an eye on it at least for now because .. well you know how it is when you find something that interests you to any extent, LOL! So, no worries and no rush. If you ever post an update and share it here and I'm nowhere to be found feel free to badger me via PM to read it.

I got out a piece of paper this morning and basically made a giant list of all the important things that happen in the first quarter of Book I so that it will be easier to follow along in my written chapters and I can change things more easily. I've actually been working on my trilogy for three years! In the beginning, Clara was Elena Sparks, Minerva was named Agatha, and Sivian was Sivian! All of the other characters didn't even exist!

I've enjoyed what some of you have posted (coming to the thread at this point, it would be quite a commitment to read through all 43 pages).

I've got a few things on the go, probably far too much to be honest. I've postponed the writing of an "interpersonal relationships" novel about two probable Aspies and their struggles with each other, which are still more preferable to their struggles with everyone else. My current project is about a soldier who is trapped in a bunker with just herself, a radio, darkness, and a whole lot of bodies. I may have posted a more in depth description of this somewhere.... I've got the first 10k words if anyone wants to read those.

But here's a link (direct download) to a completed 2.8k words sci-fi short about the captain of an observation ship about to crash in to an inhabited world. I wrote it four years ago, but have made revisions recently. Oh, and that's a pseudonym I used/use.

Oh, do you like my book, then? Your stuff seems quite interesting! I love your username and avatar! I am often quite 'Spock-like'.

Thanks. I don't know anything about you, but what you've posted seems like it was written by a younger writer for younger readers. Not being the target audience, I think my enjoyment of it may be slightly hampered. It's always interesting to see what other writers are producing, and I like not knowing what is coming.

Oh? Are you sure? My books have a great deal of nightmare fuel, tragedy, interesting themes, and mostly bittersweet endings. Then again, I might publish them as children's books just so kids and adults can read them together.

I didn't mean children - perhaps I misphrased, I meant young adults, or teens. There's a lot of dark mystery horror books for that age group. I read a few myself.

Oh, okay. By the way, have you ever written any Star Trek fanfiction? I do all the time, but only in my head so it's like I'm watching everything like a movie.