Would this story Idea be cliche?

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I had an idea for a story, and I wanted to write it. But I'm afraid that the idea might be cliche. Here's the story idea:

In a medieval setting there lives a boy and his younger sister. Even though they remember their faces, their parents are dead, and the two sibilings live with their grandfather. The only thing that the sibilings have that is a memento is a glamourious stone inside a locket. Later on while the boy is doing errands around town and returns he find a young female talking to his grandfather. The girl says that she just arrived in town and that she's a chamber maid working for his grandfather. THe young girl and the boy do get on a rough start, but after a while two mysterious witches attack. The boy and young girl defeat the witches at the cost of destroying the house. knowing that the girl can use magic, the boy asked her if she was a witch herself. She replies that she's a witch, and the reason that she came here was to get the stone that the sibilings have. She tells the sibilings that they should go with her, otherwise the church would get them. They accept the agreement, and together they go on an adventure, battling the bad witches, dfending themselves from the church, and eventually meeting a young woman who has the same stone embedded in her back shoulder.

Can you please tell me whether or not this story is cliche, and if it is cliche can you please tell me what I should add, delete, or change to make it less cliche?

sounds like it could be interesting.... i like swordfights!

I haven't heard of anything exactly like it, but it does have some familiar elements I might have heard of in other stories, anime shows in particular. Are you an anime fan with that avatar? I find with my own stories that other concepts come through with the type of books or shows I come in contact with, which makes it hard to come up with something I find to be very original. Do the boy and his sister have anything they can do to fight on their own? Maybe that can help with future episodes. Even if burning witches is common in many stories, I'd love to hear more of what happens here.

actually that sounds cool. "The Church" would make a really good villain too. secret artifacts and mysterious strangers get used a lot in stories but so do a lot of things. its impossible to come up with something completely totally original. even tolkien, who fantasy fans practically worship as a god, really didnt come up with anything new. he borrowed HEAVILY from william morris, and indo-european mythology. even his languages he came up with were based on real ones. its just a matter of taking whats been done and adding a new twist. i think tolkiens secret was to just condense so much. his stories were "loaded" if you take my meaning. and i think the medieval church would make a really interesting villain. they say a story is only as good as it's villain

MU wrote

sounds a bit like 'The Golden Compass' in spots, but someone once said that there are only 7 stories in the whole world....

pakled wrote: