The mathematics of why I can't get a girlfriend

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I disagree. I think math can explain the entire process very succinctly. See my simplified equation below:



And yes, that was entirely tongue-in-cheek so lighten up guys and gals.

I think i'm too fA(t)...

Clever theory. I like it

God that's trite.

But I thought OPIUM was money...

But that's precisely what my last boyfriend did!

On a more serious note, simple probability theory can demonstrate that even if your chances of success with a girl you ask out are consistently slim, the likelihood of eventually getting a date increases quickly with multiple attempts with different women.

I like the cut of yer jib there, matey! Your willingness to pursue such a complex topic using mathematics speaks well of you. But can a simple, algebraic formula really capture the subtlety and romance of the human heart? Can it anticipate those first, sweet moments where anything can happen? No, sir. I think not.

It's obvious that what you need here is matrix mathematics. Yes, everything from preferences to statistics loaded onto the back of a little card - much like a business card. Then just multiply in Current TV Trends, a bit of Chaos, and Willingness to Settle. Two potential lovers meet, swap cards, whip out a TI-85, crunch the matrices, and see if the result is within a standard deviation on the bell curve. Anyone who can't do the math shouldn't mate... but if they MUST, they should appeal to the Gods of Chance - both roll 1D20. If both roll above 10, it was meant to be. If either rolls a natural 20, they should make out on the spot. If either rolls a 1, they must trip on a projecting stone, stumble into a flaming pit of vipers, and impale themselves on their sword, a la Dungeons and Dragons.

Obviously, Romeo and Juliet wouldn't have been able to do the math - what with them being, like, 14, born before it was taught in schools, and also fictional. But if they'd bothered to roll the dice, I think they would have both come up "1"'s.

Yet I think it would be more appropriate to say that one should use complex numbers. In the case of many people on this board, it would best be modeled with the numbers being purely imaginary.

The problem with the theories here isn't so much that the mathematics used is wrong (though there are a few logical fallacies so far) so much that it is wildly abused. The questions of this thread aren't to do with pure mathematics so much as applied, so you need a theory that is sufficiently well-grounded in reality to begin with.

god, thats hilarious


this reminds me of an xkcd comic but i cant find it now, in theory I'd say its possible to make it um .. theory, but there is allot of variables that you would probably have to put down to chance ... well i would anyway seeing as i have trouble assessing things like her current mood

How about you make a javascript calculator for this?

You say that, but it's amazing what a well fitting nicely put together outfit, a nice hair cut that suits you and a smile does for attracting women.

I wrote this post about what I think women find attractive in men. I thought I had explained it pretty well so I made it a blog entry:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Journal&file=display&jid=7142

Too bad the paragraphs don't seem to translate to the blogs - it's just one long block of text, but I think it contains useful information that could be turned into a mathematical equation if you wanted to see it that way.

i see
well my prob was my past. i had been an annoying ugly fat ass for the last 11 years but cleaned up over the summer. and ive hit 1st and had 4 GFs since sept. thats cause im fit now.
really people still think i am the exact way i was in the past. they're closed minded. ive asked lots of people wat they think of me now and they all say normal. so mine it tainted relations with the popular kids. GET ON THE POPULAR KIDS' SIDE! i cannot stress that enough.

I still say an insanely convoluted system involving matrices would work better. Besides, I keep away from the popular kids not because they dislike me, but because I have no respect for THEM. And I certainly wouldn't go out with the type of girl who would go out with me because I rub elbows with the popular kids. Ick.