The girl with the broken wing..
I'm drawn to "broken" girls too, up to a certain level of brokenness. Part of it is probably down to having a generally protective nature, and part of it is just a desire to be with someone like myself.
And then, I have to admit, there are probably less healthy motivations too. Like a desire to feel needed and valued, and naive thoughts of being someone's white knight. Neither are good reasons to enter into a relationship, I'm sure.
techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,239
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi
I'd second that. I'm looking for a similar level of both perceptiveness and integrity.
That's a bit unfair don't you think? There are loads of wonderful interesting well adjusted people in the world.
To say women have to be maladjusted in order to be interesting is rather a cruel demand to place on anyone. Personally, I would rather be happy, wih peace of mind than give two hoots about whether or not people like you found me interesting.
Sorry, but that's not true. Just because someone has been lucky enough to avoid major trauma in life does not mean they are now living a shallow existance. Equally, many people with issues are quite self-absorbed and superficial.
He probably could have worded it better, but i'm pretty sure that wasn't what he meant.
He means these people who have had no major problems in their life, don't UNDERSTAND and often have low tolerance for people who have because they don't know what it feels like. I know what he means, and its hard not to be angry. Some people are just dealt better cards than us, and the fact they don't understand etc is frustrating.
As for the boring he is right and wrong, there are interesting well adjusted people, but some of these people are not shallow, but shallow thinkers. Thats part of the reason they're happy in the first place.
This thread has made me think of something I read in Billy Connolly's wife Pamela Stevenson said in an interview. One of the things that attracted her to him was:
"...his underlying sadness and the pain of his childhood ... when I first met him I think I connected with that."
I can relate to what has been said about finding someone who has experiences that help them to understand the difficulties I have had in my own life.
I have to agree with this. I didn't use to but this is my personal experience. *Unless* the experience of whatever trauma is in their conscious mind and they are going everything in their power to heal from it. Which alot of them aren't. Then there is the 'recovery' variety who just adopt a new 12-step/dogmatic persona once they enter recovery and censor their crazy behavior from anyone who would call them on it. I have heard there are two definitions of 'recovery' to re-cover, i.e. to cover something back up again, with a whole new ball of wax while nothing heals, and to recover something lost. It's really important for me that the 'recovering' people I associate with are #2 defintion of recovery, as soon as I find out someone is a #1 type recovering person I really try to avoid them.
This sentence is intriguing to me. Can you please expand on this idea? How does one go about "not allowing you to wallow in pain" ?
Certainly. Someone who recognizes the struggle and pain, but refuses to remain there indefinitely, and works to find solutions through being supportive - not by being a crutch.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
My wife and I have the same challenge; it isn't a perfect system one installs and runs in the background. It takes work. We argued this morning because due to stress we have both ended up sitting on our own shoulders since our heads are shoved so far up their respective orifices. Takes compromise, trusting both your own suggestions and the behavior of your partner.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Will the NHS fix my broken nose? |
10 Apr 2024, 1:09 pm |
This Is Why McDonald's Ice Cream Machines Are Always Broken |
18 Apr 2024, 7:23 pm |
14-year old Israeli girl beaten by fellow HSer in NB |
21 May 2024, 12:50 pm |