How do I maintain a relationship with my new girlfriend?

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simplisticseth
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02 Jan 2013, 6:41 pm

Last night, my girlfriend asked if I could be her boyfriend. I said "yes" and nodded. We kissed and I've been so happy to be with her ever since. Of course, she disclosed that she has ADD and let her know that I have Asperger Syndrome. If all works out, I want to stay in this relationship with her and remain optimistic about everthing. I also want to be faithful and not lie or cheat on her. How do I maintain my relationship with her, while staying sincere and faithful?



alex
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02 Jan 2013, 6:45 pm

congrats seth 8)


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mfs1013
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02 Jan 2013, 6:49 pm

congrats!! !

just keep texting/talking to her daily, or let her text you daily


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BlueMax
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02 Jan 2013, 6:50 pm

Congrats! :thumright:

Just keep communicating regularly (I'm sure you guys can figure out your own balance there) and you'll be just fine. Don't stress out and over-think things...

Because everyone's different, there's no real method to share. One warning is something that's bitten many an aspie in the arse is that if we get fixated in our special interest(s) we forget about everything else. Neglecting your significant other will leave them feeling unwanted/unfulfilled, etc.

That and communication is about all I've got for ya. ;) Congrats and have fun!



billiscool
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02 Jan 2013, 6:55 pm

just try to be nice to her.



Vince
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02 Jan 2013, 6:59 pm

When my (long distance) girlfriend asked me to be her boyfriend, I asked what that would mean exactly. She said she didn't know, but that she wanted to call me that, so we agreed to just keep it honest and talk openly and figure it out as we go. We have now been together for over three years. She recently started seeing someone else (which I encouraged, as I'd rather see her happy than held back from any experiences she may want, and I never did try to push monogamy on her), and we're still a thing, and we're keeping things honest and talk openly about stuff.

While I'm sure your relationship will be an entirely different journey, I do suggest asking her what the label "boyfriend" means to her, and figure out together what principles you both would like your relationship to be built upon. Make sure you're both on the same page. That's essential. Relationships fall apart when people have different ideas about what the relationship is and why, or when they get bitter about having defined a relationship in a way that turns out not to work for them.

ETA: I'd also suggest establishing that you can revisit the relationship principles together at any time if either of you feel like they need tweaking.


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redrobin62
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02 Jan 2013, 8:06 pm

nebrets
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02 Jan 2013, 9:22 pm

Keep talking with her regularly (try to have some communication every day), develop common interests that you already have and become interested in things she likes but you do not yet like. Stay faithful always. Try to maintain trust and respect for her and her ideas. Have some form of regular physical contact.


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