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Vectorspace
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22 May 2013, 4:18 pm

I'm a bit confused... During today's orchestra rehearsal, a girl who plays the violin paid extraordinarily much attention to me. That is, I noticed that she was looking at me during the rehearsal; during the break, she was standing in the same circle of people as me (without talking to me directly, though). On the way home, we cycled next to each other (we're neighbors), and we did exchange a few words.

Statistically, it's unlikely that she is interested in me in any way, but there may be a small chance.

I'm not sure what to do now. Though we've been playing in the same orchestra for two years, I don't actually know her. I didn't even know her name until I just looked it up in the members list. So I don't think it's a good idea to contact her now (her e-mail address is in the list, too). Instead, I plan on waiting for the next rehearsal (next week), carefully seek her proximity there and check if she does the same thing.

Does that sound like a good idea? Should I be more direct?

I'm not even sure about her relationship status, but as she lives a single apartment, there's a good chance that she's single, too.



cathylynn
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22 May 2013, 7:49 pm

your plan to try to get to know her better through rehearsal is a good one.



fueledbycoffee
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22 May 2013, 8:57 pm

Definitely don't hit her up through the e-mail list. Would mos def come off as creepy and stalkerish.

As you said, though, get to know her through rehearsals. Talk a bit, get to know what she likes, talk about that, then ask her out after a few conversations. Pretty straightforward. Don't overthink it.

Good luck.



Geekonychus
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23 May 2013, 12:25 am

Next time you see her be all like "Yo, what up?"



Kjas
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23 May 2013, 12:49 am

Just talk to her. Make sure through the next two rehearsals she still seems to be paying more attention to you than others.
If she still is after that, ask her if she wants to grab a coffee with you after rehearsal. Keep it low key and relaxed.

Good luck! And Congratuations! (I hope :D )


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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html


Vectorspace
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23 May 2013, 3:55 am

Thanks everyone!

Problem: Assuming that I manage to get in a conversation with her next time... What do I talk about? The current piece? Already did that yesterday, so the topic is used up. And her studies aren't even remotely math-related, so that doesn't seem to be an option, either. My small-talk skills are close to zero.

Just crazily assuming that I get a date with her, there will be a lot of awkward silence, too...

I should mention that I currently don't even have the slightest crush on her. My excitement is solely based on the fact that a girl is paying attention it me. But maybe I just need to get to know her better.



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23 May 2013, 6:15 am

Vectorspace wrote:
Thanks everyone!

Problem: Assuming that I manage to get in a conversation with her next time... What do I talk about? The current piece? Already did that yesterday, so the topic is used up. And her studies aren't even remotely math-related, so that doesn't seem to be an option, either. My small-talk skills are close to zero.

Just crazily assuming that I get a date with her, there will be a lot of awkward silence, too...

I should mention that I currently don't even have the slightest crush on her. My excitement is solely based on the fact that a girl is paying attention it me. But maybe I just need to get to know her better.


Are there any cool cycle trails near you? Ask her if she would like to go hang out and have a picnic. :D

Small talk - ask her how she likes to spend her spare time. That is a good way to find out her interests and you can then ask more specific questions



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 May 2013, 6:24 am

Geekonychus wrote:
Next time you see her be all like "Yo, what up?"


One time a foreigner girl asked me so and I said 'the sky'.



Geekonychus
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23 May 2013, 9:29 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Next time you see her be all like "Yo, what up?"


One time a foreigner girl asked me so and I said 'the sky'.
You sly fox, you....... 8)



Vectorspace
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23 May 2013, 10:56 am

rainbowglowing wrote:
Are there any cool cycle trails near you? Ask her if she would like to go hang out and have a picnic. :D

Good idea, but I'm really awkward in crowded places.

I've been thinking about practicing a piece of music together, as this is the obvious common interest. But whatever, I think I need to get to know her better before I will do anything.

While I'm flattered by her attention, I have no clue if she's my type.



BlueMax
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23 May 2013, 10:58 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Next time you see her be all like "Yo, what up?"


One time a foreigner girl asked me so and I said 'the sky'.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAE7uOO_4v4[/youtube]

around 15 seconds in. ;)

What's up? YOUR CHOLESTEROL! DEAD MAN WALKING!!



rainbowglowing
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23 May 2013, 11:25 am

Vectorspace wrote:
rainbowglowing wrote:
Are there any cool cycle trails near you? Ask her if she would like to go hang out and have a picnic. :D

Good idea, but I'm really awkward in crowded places.

I've been thinking about practicing a piece of music together, as this is the obvious common interest. But whatever, I think I need to get to know her better before I will do anything.

While I'm flattered by her attention, I have no clue if she's my type.


:) You wont know if she is your type until you spend some one to one time with her.

when I first spoke to my bf he said " come to my house and we can watch a movie together after my shift ends" his shift ends at 12 midnight, so to a NT like me that implied he just wanted me for sex. How silly I was :? :lol: now I realise that when he said he wanted to watch a movie that is all he wanted.

You know you could have a picnic somewhere very secluded.

You could also write down your email address or phone number and just say 'I am always up for some extra practice between classes. Mail or phone if your free to do that" That way is less direct :D



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23 May 2013, 11:57 am

rainbowglowing wrote:
when I first spoke to my bf he said " come to my house and we can watch a movie together after my shift ends" his shift ends at 12 midnight, so to a NT like me that implied he just wanted me for sex. How silly I was :? :lol: now I realise that when he said he wanted to watch a movie that is all he wanted.

Yeah, this is the kind of misunderstandings that I'd like to avoid.

I know that the rule says: "Make it obvious it's a date, and do it in public." But I'm extremely uncomfortable with both of that. On the other hand... While I didn't know her name before yesterday, we're not strangers, either. So maybe the rule doesn't apply so strictly here.

rainbowglowing wrote:
You could also write down your email address or phone number and just say 'I am always up for some extra practice between classes. Mail or phone if your free to do that" That way is less direct :D

Erm... To me, the latter does sound like "I want to f*ck". :)

I think I'll stop my theoretical considerations until next week.



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23 May 2013, 12:14 pm

:lol: but in this case extra practice is extra practice. It could be the start of at least a friendship.

I am a fan of the here is my number/email approach. That way you can get to know each other through written words. Plus your leaving it up to her. You have started the ball rolling by implying "your cool I would like to hang out with you"



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23 May 2013, 1:07 pm

rainbowglowing wrote:
:lol: but in this case extra practice is extra practice. It could be the start of at least a friendship.

I don't mind being friendzoned. I'm quite platonically oriented anyway.

rainbowglowing wrote:
I am a fan of the here is my number/email approach. That way you can get to know each other through written words. Plus your leaving it up to her. You have started the ball rolling by implying "your cool I would like to hang out with you"

Yes, but it would be strange in this case, because she can easily find all contact information in the official members list.



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23 May 2013, 3:03 pm

Vectorspace wrote:
rainbowglowing wrote:
:lol: but in this case extra practice is extra practice. It could be the start of at least a friendship.

I don't mind being friendzoned. I'm quite platonically oriented anyway.

rainbowglowing wrote:
I am a fan of the here is my number/email approach. That way you can get to know each other through written words. Plus your leaving it up to her. You have started the ball rolling by implying "your cool I would like to hang out with you"

Yes, but it would be strange in this case, because she can easily find all contact information in the official members list.


Many girls wont make first contact.