How needy, clingy are we?
WTF?
What'Wait! You think a lie me y tell!
Fat-Jolly-Girl Syndrome; I don't now if this sydrome has a scientific name. Make those who are not the most attractive, an small advantage that will help them find somone, as they appear very happy. The opposite of an unhappy person who most o unnatractive. I know one girl at work; and when she comes into a room, she makes me smile? her favorate word is "Its Friday". And noone would know that yout of 300 men, I am the closest thng to a depressed Mr Spock.
I dont understand why you dont have any luck though as when we met you were handsome, funny, intelligent and all good things. Must be something wrong with the women you are persuing.
Shy guys are hawt......I mean cute...
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I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
Don't take this the wrong way, but, from what I've read from you here, and in the past....you seem to have alot of anger issues. It seems as if you already know that. On of the wosrt things you can do is acquire a reputation as being a hot-head. I'm pretty sure that it will scare most women away. I don't know if you are against meds or not, but it might be a good option to try, if only temporarily. It might help you have more control. Don't put alot of pressure on yourself to change instantly either, these things take time. Just try to think about what you say before you say it, and then think "does this sound like I'm pissed off?". Trust me, I grew up with an evil step-father who was angry all the time, and nobody was comfortable around him. If you learn to appear happy, then people will respond to you, and you will actually become happy. Happiness feeds on itself, it's a "snowball effect".
Agreed -- you seem to have kind of a confrontational thing going on, even in your profile pic -- lots of emphasis on battle, fighting, being wronged, etc. Not unusual for a guy your age, dealing with life's frustrations, full of testosterone and ready to take on life, but at some point, it becomes unhealthy, and as the guy above me said, it does tend to scare women. Women get scared by too much anger, too much testosterone (they like a confident, balanced guy, not a berserker waiting to off) -- in their mind, someone like that is a liability more than an asset. They want a guy who will be confident and assertive, but not suicidal and controlling.
I bet if you just dialed it back a bit, your life would get so much better. Like I said above, you're trying too hard, you're spinning your wheels instead of checking your traction and where it is you're going. You're so focused on getting there fast that you're not having a good time, or even sure about where "where" is.
Try reading some self-help books -- Anthony Robbins is good, and "How to Make Friends and Influence People" is really a great one as well (as cliche'ed as that sounds). And look into professional help -- When I was your age and pissed off about all manner of things, I was seeing a psychiatrist.
I am currently trying to book an appointment with a counselor who deals in anger and addictions.
man f**k Nts that act like that, they are stupid and ignorant......you know i wonder the same thing...and ignore all that confidence stuff "Women want someone whos confident" naw women want someone who's cute and if not that they want soemone who appears like hes confident....but what is confidence....DONT THINK ABOUT IT!! ! its stupid and a waste of time, dont know how easy life is when i'm not worrying about some girl....Sometimes i think about starting my own support gioup to help out aspies with this problem...i too have this problem as well......Acting like you dont care about a girl is not going to make her like you. If she likes you then she does....If you feel like u have to act like u dont like her, then she porbabluy doesnt like u. and if it's this was with all the girls u like then they don't like you. f**k THEM. Who cares???? you care!! ! we all care!! ! that's why we need to start something to help aspies and socializing. They have all this s**t for people with Kanner's Syndrome, and no gluten in the diet...Ugh sorry that stuff doesnt help people with asperger's syndrome. What helps us is still a mystery. For some reason I feel that Auts or Kanner's Syndrome people are much more happier people than aspies asperger's.
There is a difference between acting like you want a relationship, and acting needy, clingy, or desperate. These types of people can be too forward and pushy, trying to rush into a relationship, or they can be push-overs. They call you constanstly, are always in need of attention, won't let you go anywhere with out them beside you, or they can be too agreeable, not stand up for what they believe in, and let other people walk all over them. In short, they either smother you with too much attention, or they try to take too much attention from you. The key here is balance.
I think most women look for guys that have confidence and can challenge them, without being any of the things I mentioned above.
Before I get flamed...no I am not an expert.
I agree with this, and even tho I am not an expert I like to think i am pretty good at relationship advice as i have educated myself on the matter for a long time, and there is a big difference in WANTING a relationship and being desperate to find one, and yes, you WILL give off a vibe if you are in the latter category vs former.
But...you have it all wrong. Confidence doesn't mean you don't act like you want a girl. Confidence is liking who you are and if you do like her there is nothing wrong with letting her know it. The problem between non confident men and those who are is that a confident man can let her know he likes her but doesn't need to make her his EVERYTHING because he is ok with who he is without her.
What does this mean?
My longest, arguably most successful relationship was with a girl I treated poorly to indiferently. I did care about her, but I was not in-love with her and I told this to her to her face.
When I asked her why she was with me, she said becasue I was a challenge.
After two years of this, I began to become sweet on her and was slowly falling in love, I started being more romantic and buying her nice gifts... she dumped me within months.
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The river tells no lies - but, the dishonest man, standing near, will hear them. - Oma
I am not responsible for what I say - you are! I am only responsible for the words I speak. - me
What does this mean?
My longest, arguably most successful relationship was with a girl I treated poorly to indiferently. I did care about her, but I was not in-love with her and I told this to her to her face.
When I asked her why she was with me, she said becasue I was a challenge.
After two years of this, I began to become sweet on her and was slowly falling in love, I started being more romantic and buying her nice gifts... she dumped me within months.
Clearly she was dysfunctional. While there is some truth to not letting women walk all over you, because they won't respect you, you probably don't want to get too involved with someone who relishes it when you treat them like dirt. There' s some middle ground here to reach.