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Rainbowstarsxoxo
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15 Dec 2023, 6:57 pm

I’ve always dated men who work. I’m a worker myself. I need someone with a stable income. Idk that’s just me.



blitzkrieg
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15 Dec 2023, 6:59 pm

Rainbowstarsxoxo wrote:
I’ve always dated men who work. I’m a worker myself. I need someone with a stable income. Idk that’s just me.


Your profile states that you are unemployed? I guess that is a temporary thing, then?



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16 Dec 2023, 7:59 am

Being employed helps but it's not essential. I would personally prefer a woman's who's employed but again that isn't essential to me.

The only time it'll become a problem is if I would need to support her to such a degree it'll become exhausting.



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17 Dec 2023, 6:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Are there a lot of women out there who not mind dating long term unemployed men?
I'm not gonna read 5 pages of replies so I'll try to answer the original post.

I think where you live can be a major factor here. I'm originally from an area that has more traditional gender roles & the media & politicians like to refer to disabled people as lazy leeches sucking on the teats of the hard-working American taxpayer :roll: Those two factors can make it a lot harder for unemployed/disabled guys to get relationships. However there are lots of exceptions & some guys including me have found romantic partners by relocating. In my case I met a woman online & moved accross the country to be with her. I've met a bit of disabled guys in Vermont who have lived in Louisiana or women here who have disabled romantic partners from Louisiana that have moved up here partly because they struggled to obtain romantic relationships in Louisiana.


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18 Dec 2023, 6:34 am

as to the original question, I doubt there is one answer, it depends on the individuals, doesn't it?


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21 Dec 2023, 9:30 pm

I don't care about a person's money, I care about their personality.


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21 Dec 2023, 9:33 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'd much rather date someone unemployed and / or disabled, than someone materialistic who is a workaholic with Classic NT Syndrome.

Shivers!


Same here.


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26 Dec 2023, 9:15 am

It might depend, too, on the country. Some countries have generous doles for the unemployed. An unemployed person in the USA may be in dire straights.


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26 Dec 2023, 6:55 pm

Honey69 wrote:
It might depend, too, on the country. Some countries have generous doles for the unemployed. An unemployed person in the USA may be in dire straights.
Good point. Some other factors are how much less women earn than men, if there is paid family & medical leave or if women risk losing their jobs for taking maternity leave, if there is decent free or cheap childcare, & if there is decent national healthcare or if lots of women risk losing their employer health insurance for being out of work due to taking maternity leave.


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26 Dec 2023, 9:51 pm

In America broadening understanding of mental health issues is still far behind our pervasive 'toil culture': the idea that your worth is strictly tied to your productivity. This becomes practical in addition to being simply an issue of perception. The US's disability/Social Security safety is generally weak (because toil culture says that non-producers are worthless), which means if you're dating an unemployed/disabled person you are going to shoulder quite a bit of financial burden

From my personal experience I have a battery of both physical and mental health issues that both keep me out of the workforce and living at home. I also have dated for a total of 3 weeks over the course of my health. I've been ghosted mid-conversation by people when I mentioned living at home. If we're talking about how gender roles affect one's ability to find romance while on the sidelines; my girlfriend for those 3 weeks is also on SSI and was able to land in a relationship better suited for her. She has been with her current beau for about 8 years I think.

But that's strictly anecdotal and likely involves factors beyond simple disabilities or toil.



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27 Dec 2023, 6:12 am

Honey69 wrote:
It might depend, too, on the country. Some countries have generous doles for the unemployed. An unemployed person in the USA may be in dire straights.



Yeah, and on age too, students may be more tolerant...while they're still students.

In a third-world country I would say it is quasi-impossible for an adult man (like past 25), but not for an adult woman, to date; not always because it's more likely they may reject the man but because it would make it practically impossible to even go out and meet people without spending anything.

At least this is my perspective where I live. So for me, I relate to the gender-specific stigma blitzkrieg is talking about.



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27 Dec 2023, 10:50 am

I probably shoulda elaborated on how traditional gender roles can cause stigma against unemployed men. Where I'm origionally from women are raised with the expectation that they would be responsible for the majority of the housework aka domestic responsibilities. Lots of women believe that men majorly hate doing housework &/or that men will not do housework correctly. The women in my family & various other women I've known in Louisiana have this mindset. When a man is unemployed women worry that they'll have to work long hours in order to support the both of them & that when she gets home she'll be responsible for doing most all the housework while her husband stayed home doing nothing productive. This usually quickly leads to women feeling major resentment towards their husbands which is understandable to me. This is one major reason I sought romantic partners who are also disabled & who didn't conform to the woman sterotype.


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27 Dec 2023, 5:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honey69 wrote:
It might depend, too, on the country. Some countries have generous doles for the unemployed. An unemployed person in the USA may be in dire straights.



Yeah, and on age too, students may be more tolerant...while they're still students.

In a third-world country I would say it is quasi-impossible for an adult man (like past 25), but not for an adult woman, to date; not always because it's more likely they may reject the man but because it would make it practically impossible to even go out and meet people without spending anything.

At least this is my perspective where I live. So for me, I relate to the gender-specific stigma blitzkrieg is talking about.


I totally agree with what you said boo, it is near impossible for men, but not for women, to date without a job. I have said this kind of thing time and again, and it may get some negative retorts from various people, but it is a truth nonetheless.



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28 Dec 2023, 9:21 am

You wouldn’t know what it’s like for women since you aren’t a woman. There’s no need to say which gender does or doesn’t have it easier in this or any regard since it can affect everyone.

A certain amount of stigma exists for everyone who is unemployed although I could see how there might be a marked difference in a third world country. With that being said, most people I have known who were in this situation were able to find someone. Some people may blame their single status on being unemployed when there could be other factors at work.


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31 Dec 2023, 4:38 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
There aren't many women who would like dating an unemployed man, especially a disabled unemployed man.

This is basic knowledge and self explanatory as to the reasons why.


I got my first job at the very start of 2022 and laid off last Spring. Still looking for a new job.



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31 Dec 2023, 4:51 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The subtext of the thread was that women are judgmental against unemployed men.
Women on WP have said many times that this isn't true.
Unfortunately few people believe that.

It was going to become another woman-bashing thread, so I turned the tables.
Apparently men are so kind as to accept unemployed women.

It's only women who won't accept men.


I'm sorry, but in my own anecdotal experience it is largely true that I had an unemployed spell from the end of high school until more than a year ago, lived with parents, have no car, and had a dry spell only history of dating one person in my life thus far.

The idea that women tend to overlook certain men is not unfounded, and that is not judging or bashing.

I'm sorry if you feel that way. I hope this thread doesn't get derailed and locked. :(