ToadOfSteel wrote:
But a relationship that starts based on nothing but sex would not have much to stabalize itself on. Regardless of the intentions of the partners involved, such relationships would fall apart very fast...
What usually happened in my case, was that I met a girl online and I Instant Messenged (I use Live/MSN Messenger) with her for several hours a day from day one until we started falling in love with our virtual other. Then I arranged a date. In some cases this was after about a week, in other cases this was after about a month. The location was usually a pub followed by a movie, in one case also followed by a sleepover at her place because we lived about an hour and a half by train from one another and we wanted to make sure the travel time was well spent. Interesting about this sleepover is that I was supposed to sleep into a sort of improvised guest bed besides her bed in her room, but the second evening she fell asleep in my arms while we were just lying on her bed enjoying each other's company and we never slept in seperate beds ever since when we spent time together. Do note, however, that we most definitely did not have sex that first weekend.
My other relationships also started after the weekend of our first date or the weekend after. Nevertheless, talking for hours a day for a period of a week to a month does allow you to get to know quite a lot about oneself before you ever meet each other.
So basically, I'd say I get myself in a situation where I allow intellectual interest, emotional interest and sexual interest to arise at the same time. You start out as strangers and in a fairly short amount of time you become more intimate with each other both physically and mentally than you are with the male friends you know for years because the combination of intellectual interest, emotional interest and sexual interest creates a very powerful band when shared. To get my in this situation I used mostly online communication, but this may not be the technique for you.
22 Dec 2009, 1:12 pm
