Do not quit.

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Last year I was eighteen and was coming out of an extremely difficult high school social experience. I went through many thoughts, one predominantly being "due to the complete lack of interest I've gotten from any girl, I must not be relationship material."

One month before high school, that statement proved wildly untrue.

I see much on this board about giving up. Men who want to castrate themselves. Women who resign themselves to being an old maid. "Accepting" the "fact" that you were meant to be alone.

You weren't meant to be alone if you wanted somebody in the first place. There is no fate or pre-ordained itenerary outlined for you, especially one that states you are going to be alone for the rest of your life. You largely control what happens to you and by giving up, you basically discount any possibilites.

This board appears to have an above-average number of individuals who have trouble starting and maintaining relationships. This board is also an Asperger's forum. What does this tell you? It's not how you look. You don't give off "opposite-sex repellant." It's not even anything outside your control. Asperger's can be medically managed. This situation you're in, can also be managed. In other words, there is hope. LOTS of hope.

It's also not uncommon to think like this either. Look, for example, at this Monkees song:

Well said, Icewolf.

Your post reminds me of one of my favorite sayings:

You're not finished when you fail - you're finished when you quit.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0d7gR2XXY4&feature=related[/youtube]

Tell it, Etta.

Some folks like weird people just because they're more interesting to be around.

AS should never be 'medically managed' - there is no treatment or cure, medicating it is just pumping a human full of laboratory pharmaceuticals for no reason. If you're gonna take drugs for no reason, at least take the natural ones, they're more fun anyway.

What was the other thing? Oh, yes - 'I'm a Believer' - that's not the Monkees' song, they just recorded it. Neil Diamond wrote it. Back in the sixties, he was a hit-writin' machine. His version came out a year later, but he's recorded it several times, on occasion with alternate lyrics.

The guys in The Monkees always kinda chafed at the idea that their band was prefabricated by television execs, so they tended to write more serious, 'mature' themed material for their albums to establish credibility as a real rock band - which they did - they were actually the headline act for Jimi Hendrix' first US tour. Anyway, a lot of their pop hits were written by professional songwriters who specialized in a more radio-friendly bubblegum sound - some of the same people who wrote hits for The Archies, another Saturday morning kids' show band... then came The Partridge Family, and the singing Brady Kids...Hannah Montana eat your heart out.

This is what my policy is. Even though people tell me that finding a female Aspie who is Christian and has the same interests is nearly impossible, I have been pressing on.

Haha, Tim, I just finished writing you a post about that "pressing on" thing in another thread!

And I think we are all too hard on ourselves around here. For good reason, I guess. The world has been screaming "no" at us since the day we arrived here (or that's how it feels to me sometimes) and it's hard not to listen. But obviously we must not be total losses if we are all on here and managing to communicate with one another. Sometimes we even succeed in not pissing each other off, and even being helpful now and again!

Don't give up hope. Though I sometimes feel destined to be a crazy cat lady for the rest of my life, that's not the way it has to be.

I don't think if I "quit" or not it would really make much of a difference, except that in one case I'm being honest (that I'm not quitting) and in another case I'm not being honest, unless I were to be castrated. It's kind of like when young women coming out of a relationship announce "that's it, I'm not meant for relationships". More often than not they'd then have another boyfriend within the year.

You might be interested to know that I've had many structured plans on finding dates, trying to appear attractive, and being careful not to offend at the same time. None of these have worked to any significant degree. A typical reaction from many people when I tell them about these plans is that I am "overthinking".

Certainly not!

However I'm too emotionally blunted and not is good position to be dating right now.

I'll pick it up later, I'm sure I’ll figure it out eventually. I always have been a late bloomer for stuff like this. I will be a little older, but some how I don’t give a s**t. I'm not longer that worried, although that might be due to the blunting.

This is a difficult one to think about. I oftentimes think that I can't get a g/f because I just cannot read people. I've only been in two serious relationships in my life. However, I've really never really been able to put myself out there due to my own fears with my parents. I have been told about several women checking me out, yet I cannot tell when they do this.

I've never been into the whole on-line dating thing, but I think that may be a better way for an Aspergian to develop bonds with the opposite sex before diving into a relationship. Once I graduate college in 2 months (I still live with my parents so that is why I feel restricted forming something with my parents) I'll hit bars and clubs, and put myself out there.

Exactly, DO. NOT. QUIT.

I am generally attracted to girls, not guys, and being a girl myself, and quite "different", statistically, odds I will find someone aren't looking very positive. But I've had two girlfriends so far. Sure, those relationships ended, the first one because she pretty much became my obsession which just pushed her away, the second one because she was so incredibly clingy that I just had to end it, which both could have had to do with Asperger traits, but hey, I did manage to find someone...

I see your anecdote and I place mine: I quit. I don't know but after tons of wandering around I noticed. If I had a girlfriend, it would be annoying, to me. I see people with girlfriends and although it would probably be 'nice' to have a female to kiss and hug everything else seems too annoying and too much of an effort to be worth it. This got official when I noticed that the reason I never asked out a girl that drove me crazy was not that much the fear of getting a no but the fear of getting a yes...

Tim, even a male model would have trouble finding the woman you want...a christian aspie that loves south park and oral sex. the type of woman that loves south park and oral sex is probably some trailer park trash or goth girl, not a quiet christian with mild autism.