What was your first kiss like?

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My first kiss was at the age of 20, while drunk at a frat party, in a town where I didn't know anyone. I was already buzzed by the time I got to the party, and had more drinks while there. At one point, I started dancing with some girl, who seemed way more affectionate durng the dance than I was accustomed to. She rubbed my back with her hands (feels sexier than it sounds), while I played with her hair. Next thing I knew, I felt something I never experienced before. It took me a few seconds to figure out that she was actually making out with me! It was nothing short of mindblowing! Totally overjoyed by this new thing that I just discovered, I kept making out with her non-stop for at least fifteen minutes. With the feeling of her body pressed against me, the smell of her perfume, and the brand-new feeling of her tongue in my mouth, it's amazing how I didn't have a sensory overload there and then. Then at the end of it all, she said her friends were leaving, gave me a big smile and a hug goodbye, and walked out of the party.

Ironically, in the heat of the moment, I forgot to ask her name, and in my drunken state, barely remember what she looked like. But I couldn't stop smiling for days afterwards. The moment I've been waiting for since puberty kicked in had finally come! That night, I had trouble falling asleep, despite being up until 3:00am. For the rest of the weekend, I rode the wave of euphoria, while my brain tried to process the mega-doses of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine it's been hit with.

yeah...you're right.

you guys! all your stories are just making me break into a big smile. they are so cute!

I dunno... they're just making me feel sad and inadequate because I don't have such a story of my own...

well, me too.....but they also make me feel happy. i mean, arent you glad at least other people who deserve these experiences are getting them?
dont worry, ive never kissed, never had a boyfriend, never even cuddled a guy...

Yeah, great for them, but it makes me wonder if I'll ever get to experience something for myself...


Judging from your posts and your picture (I'm assuming your avatar is a picture of yourselF), I'm kinda surprised. I have to say that you have the looks and the personality that you should be able to get anybody you want (in contrast to me, I'm fat, ugly, and in a permanent depressed mood, two things that are big turn-offs to women)

Last edited by ToadOfSteel on 25 Dec 2009, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

of course....me too.

lol, that's a good angle for me .im not usually that good looking at all. and personality? do you know my personality? i've got as many shortcomings as any other person...if not more. i'm depressed too. you're not alone. and i'm into self harm. isn't that messed up? i do it much less, i havent cut in a while. but the other day i kept punching my wall until my hand was bruised and swollen, it still hurts.
oh and you can lose fat! it's hard but it can be done. in fact, all the excercise will even help lift your depressed mood. but i know what you feel.....being depressed, it's hard to get out of the misery to actually get an excercise routine..:/

Well I have to say that the picture you have there is quite attractive...

Well, I've never met you in real life, so I can't be sure, but I'm guessing you're like me in that you're a lot more personable on the internet than in person. But that means you still have the personality, just that you don't have the means to express it in real life (like me )


believe me, I know... it's hard to explain to someone who isn't super-depressed because it just feels like it isn't worth the effort...

Toad, the majority of America is fat/ugly. Fat/ugly people date other fat/ugly people. I can't feel bad that you won't accept your reality and find a really depressed, low self-esteem, fat, ugly woman. Similar people in appearance date one another unless there's money, fame, or mutual friends involved.

Reading close to a hundred of your posts now the past few months, you would scare off any normal, decent looking woman even if she didn't care that you were physically unattractive. And I don't mean that as an insult. People don't like to be around extremely depressed people. Hell, I battle mild depression and would be extremely depressed if it weren't for medication, and even I like being around happy people.

thanks. XD i still dont look that good in real life!

yes, correct. i suppose i get personable in real life, too...but i'm not as good with words...i rarely say anything too witty. XD. and it takes a long time for me to get comfy with someone, i dont make many new friends...and if i do, i dont keep them. i really only have maybe 2 really close friends in real life?

yeah. sometimes you really do just have to drag yourself up and do it...even if every cell of your body is against it. you'd be a lot less depressed if you did.

unfortunately people dont like to be around depressed people, like therange said. i hide it in meatspace as best as i can.

Still.... If that's really you in that picture, I don't think your looks are anything you should worry about.



It's all part of the Aspie experience.

Just continue practicing. The older you get, the easier it'll be to make and keep friends.



Most NT people only have 2 really close friends or less. They do have many more superficial connections, but real close friends are rare for NTs and Aspies alike.



The closer you are to someone, the less you should hide. The less close you are, the more you should hide. That's a rule I use for myself and overall speaking it works pretty well.

yeah, it's me.

i hope......

superficial connections...dont you hate them? i dont really have many. nor do i desire any.

my close friends know i'm depressed. i do try and tone it down a bit, as in not always saying gloomy stuff. i usually save it for any heart-to-heart discussions.

You look ackward but cute. My type



That's another Aspie trait. I don't need them either except for professional reasons.



Try drugs that effect your serotonine-receptors. It may help.

thanks...


yep, exactly. i prefer to only see people when i need them or if they have a job for me....sad but true. my friends are a different story though. it seems the world is very black and white with relationships. id rather have someone as an utter ally or not at all. most people arent good enough. i mean, i still like people though. i just prefer our relationship to keep a distance with it.

really? does pot do that? cuz my mom wont let me take any sort of prescription drugs for anxiety or depression.

I'm serious. If you would live in my area and you shared some of my interests, I would most definitely date you....



It's a normal feeling for an Aspie. Why waste time on someone if the other person isn't willing to go all the way, right?!?



Pot has a tendency to calm down your nerves and to slow down your thought processes. It will not have an increase on your serotonine-receptors, though. In fact, it can actually cause paranoia and increase other negative feelings when already there.... although it really depends on e.g. what kind of pot you're smoking.

The most positive effect I've had was with empathogenics (like MDMA or 4-FA) and psychedelics (like mescaline or LSD). You should be very careful with those, though.... Especially MDMA should not be used more than a few times in your life or you might risk permanent brain damage.

thanks...id be too awkward though, id probably run away

yes. exactly. if the relationship wont like, grow, or be there forever....it's pointless, mostly. i wonder if that seems irrational. XD

well, if there's a risk of brain damage, i dont think i'll take them. i have social anxiety, i hope pot goes well with me, still :S

That's why I haven't used MDMA myself yet.



You can always try it. I'v tried nicotine, alcohol, marihuana, DMT, mescaline, LSD, 4-FA, ketamine and a few other drugs. LSD and 4-FA are my favorites, but I still enjoy a nice Dutch joint or some Scottish Whiskey as well