Aspies dating Aspies

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Hey All,

I've read a lot online about AS-NT relationships, but I've never read anything about a relationship where both partners are on the spectrum (aside from the description of Mary and Jerry Newport). Has anyone out there who's on the spectrum ever dated someone else on the spectrum? I met a really sweet aspie girl at the Autism National Conference, and I'm rapidly falling in love with her. She's so great, and I'm hoping that our relationship lasts.

-Scott

Well, I am in an AS/AS relationship, and it's working out very well. this thread http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... pic&t=3793 has a bit more info. Feel free to post, email, IM or PM me if you have any further questions

I was in love with an aspie who was in love with me.
My expierence tells that nts does not understand aspies and aspies nts,
nts understands nts and aspies aspies, but aspies understand aspies better then
nts understand nts.
Uhm. lol.


I amsleepy atm

I'd like to have an AS-AS relationship someday. The odds are against me though.

That is the only point in Kerrigan's post that I disagree with. People with AS have various differences in their Theory of Mind that can make any AS-AS relationship just a difficult as any two NT's relationship could be.

I think relationships are hard period

My first husband was an NT (I did not know I was and Aspie) and that marriage lasted a whole three months. My current husband is not an Aspie but he does have ADHD. I think both of us having something has made it easier but it has still been wild and hard to make it last. However, we just celebrated our 8th anniversary for whatever that is worth.

I read in a psychology book about relationships that often what counts most in communication skills is not that both people excell in them, but that both people are at about the same level, which would support the idea that AS-AS relationships may have more of a potential compatibility, depending on the individuals involved.

as i've posted elsewhere, i agree with sean's point here. i've had relationships with both, and they're equally as difficult, as far as i can see. but then all relationships require work - it's no good expecting "hollywood" relationships where everything's fab, cos that just don't happen, folks.

I once wanted to date someone else on the spectrum, but then she moved schools before I could tell her how I felt.

Aye, ok. As I said, it was based on my OWN experience and what I have seen.

I think aspies understand aspies better than NTs understand NTs because aspies don't take their way of thinking for granted. Well that's one possibility anyway. Sean's probably right in other circumstances.

i once went on a date with another aspie and it was like the blind leading the blind (or the socially-impaired leading the socially-impaired). it almost ended in tears when he acted inappropriately towards me and caused me to nearly have a meltdown! but people considering an AS/AS relationship shouldn't be put off by my horror story as i believe AS/AS relationships have a lot of potential.

I could probably date someone with AS, but i'd have to be attracted to them.

But some aspies I wouldn't date if I was paid to because of personality clashes. Same goes with NT's.

I don't really think i'm like most of the people here. They all seem to want a romantic relationship. I've got enough problems of my own to deal with without someone elses too.

An AS-AS relationship is pretty much the only option, if you ask me. Thankfully, there's Aspie personals online.

If you're an Aspie, either date another Aspie or someone who is fascinated by nuttiness and its causes.

((If anybody knows what that is a quote from you earn some not-yet-disclosed emoticon readtion from myself.))

Or worse. Imagine clashing perseverations, clashing sensory issues, clashing OCD symptoms! CLASHING CLOTHES YOU MUST BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH YOUR PARTNER WEARING!! !! It's honestly probably just as complicated.

What I want to do is find out the divorce rate of people with AS as opposed to people without. THAT would convince me one way or the other.



I wish to award you the applause of a thousand happy penguins for this insight.



Communication, self-disclosure, eye contact (we're all screwed), liking those who like us, and the matching phenomenon are some of the issues that spring to mind from my wonderful social psychology textbook. ((I love the rpinciple of the matching pehnomenon by the way. People date people who are as attractive as they are. So basically if you tell your signifiacnt other that they're attractive, you're also flattering yourself.))



the blind leading the blind issue can either be viewed as a problem, or merely a running gag. You'd have to find one of those very rare Aspies with a sense of humor, though.



Rock on. That's a very healthy attitude. ((It bringe me joy to find people who are not looking to be in relationships, but then again, i'm a cynic from two, no wait, three- broken homes. Or is it just one because they all had a variable in common?))



Actually if you're not seeking a "serious" relationship, try finding someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, which would be infinitely superior as far as getting "satisfaction" right off the bat. As a mattaer of fact that tendency ("satisfaction" right off the bat) is listed as one possible symptom or sign of BPD. Of course you'll have to deal with insane mood swings but that might just happen with an Aspie chick too. Plus, someone with BPD is much less likely to have person-specificity touch issues; which is an absolute joy to deal with on either end.

how did he act improperly towards you - by feeling your panty line during a hug?

You replied to a post that is four years old and he hasn't made a post in almost four years.