Uniterested in a relationship

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AtomicKaiju
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24 Jan 2010, 3:23 pm

I've been noticing that I really don't want a relationship all that much. To me, it would be nice to have someone to snuggle with, but everything else that's "required" in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care for sex, I don't want to get married, and I DEFINITELY don't want kids. I do feel a bit lonely at times, but it doesn't bother me at the end of the day.



Avarice
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24 Jan 2010, 5:00 pm

I don't want any of that, including the "snuggle" part. Relationships are something I never want, even though my family say "One day you will", "The hormones will take over", "You'll meet a nice girl one day and then...". It's pathetic. I've chosen not to and I wont, quite simple. I can't stand to be around friends for long let alone somebody I have to "spend my life with".

I can't think of one positive aspect to a relationship.



Merle
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25 Jan 2010, 5:55 pm

It is such a cop-out to use someone's age as an excuse to justify their behavior, but in this case I have to feel it merits it.

You're 19. Think back 4 years ago and think of the person you were and what you were interested in. Think about how much you grew in the last 2 years. Now, think forward 4 years and realize your tastes change, your interests change, and often faster than what has transpired in the past.

You will not be the same person at 24 that you are today. Yes, I know these words don't ring true. But foresight is a lot more difficult than hindsight and the only advice we can suggest is to not tie yourself down to any drastic actions (e.g. vasectomy if you were a guy, tubes tied for a woman) which you will regret 5 or even 10 years down the line.

And at 19, I didn't listen to advice from 30 somethings. But there was a sunscreen song which was funny to listen to.



caprica
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25 Jan 2010, 7:43 pm

Same here. Anything beyond friendship sounds rather undesirable at this point in my life. I've been in a few relationships but they were a lot more trouble than they were worth. All the emotional expectations were just too tiring and frustrating to deal with. Though they were all NTs, so that probably has something to do with it in my case. It could be different if I met someone rational with similar interests. But like you, I've never wanted kids, never day dreamed about my wedding like most little girls, etc... My parents give me the typical "one day you'll want all that stuff because EVERYBODY does". We'll see, but I'm doubtful. :lol:



Merle
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25 Jan 2010, 8:49 pm

caprica wrote:
Same here. Anything beyond friendship sounds rather undesirable at this point in my life. I've been in a few relationships but they were a lot more trouble than they were worth. All the emotional expectations were just too tiring and frustrating to deal with. Though they were all NTs, so that probably has something to do with it in my case. It could be different if I met someone rational with similar interests. But like you, I've never wanted kids, never day dreamed about my wedding like most little girls, etc... My parents give me the typical "one day you'll want all that stuff because EVERYBODY does". We'll see, but I'm doubtful. :lol:


So sayeth the 20 year old in Vegas :)



caprica
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25 Jan 2010, 9:07 pm

Merle wrote:
caprica wrote:
Same here. Anything beyond friendship sounds rather undesirable at this point in my life. I've been in a few relationships but they were a lot more trouble than they were worth. All the emotional expectations were just too tiring and frustrating to deal with. Though they were all NTs, so that probably has something to do with it in my case. It could be different if I met someone rational with similar interests. But like you, I've never wanted kids, never day dreamed about my wedding like most little girls, etc... My parents give me the typical "one day you'll want all that stuff because EVERYBODY does". We'll see, but I'm doubtful. :lol:


So sayeth the 20 year old in Vegas :)


Lol, Vegas was definitely not my choice... Moved here a year ago with my family, been holed up in my room devouring books ever since. :lol:



Apera
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26 Jan 2010, 9:02 pm

I admit that I DO want some of those things. Kids? Maybe someday... I'm rather torn between continuing the family and what I might pass on. If one of my kids is severely autistic, I wouldn't want to deal with it. Mainly I want companionship; I am so lonely. But I have come to love my freedom being single and generally ignored.

So for now, I think I'll just do whatever I want to do, as nobody can tie me to one place.


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AtomicKaiju
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26 Jan 2010, 9:21 pm

Merle wrote:
It is such a cop-out to use someone's age as an excuse to justify their behavior, but in this case I have to feel it merits it.

You're 19. Think back 4 years ago and think of the person you were and what you were interested in. Think about how much you grew in the last 2 years. Now, think forward 4 years and realize your tastes change, your interests change, and often faster than what has transpired in the past.

You will not be the same person at 24 that you are today. Yes, I know these words don't ring true. But foresight is a lot more difficult than hindsight and the only advice we can suggest is to not tie yourself down to any drastic actions (e.g. vasectomy if you were a guy, tubes tied for a woman) which you will regret 5 or even 10 years down the line.

And at 19, I didn't listen to advice from 30 somethings. But there was a sunscreen song which was funny to listen to.


You're probably right. To be perfectly honest, I just don't know if I want a relationship. Oh well... :roll: .



Homer_Bob
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26 Jan 2010, 9:32 pm

Everything you said I can pretty much agree with. I have some needs but at the end of the day, I get over them and move on. Relationships are more trouble then they are worth.



hale_bopp
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26 Jan 2010, 10:21 pm

With age and life experience your wants and needs change. Some will, some wont.

I'm pretty damn sure I don't want marrige and children either, and have thought this way for like, ever.



MizLiz
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26 Jan 2010, 11:43 pm

My boyfriend probably wonders why I haven't called him tonight, but I'd rather shoot myself in the face than talk to people on the phone (he doesn't know I'm ASD and I'll never tell him). I like SOME of the relationship things like spending occasional time together and some physical contact but I don't want marriage or kids either. This is why I don't have more friends. I can't be bothered.

I don't think getting older will change me, either, so I doubt it would change you.



biostructure
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27 Jan 2010, 12:12 pm

AtomicKaiju wrote:
I've been noticing that I really don't want a relationship all that much. To me, it would be nice to have someone to snuggle with, but everything else that's "required" in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care for sex, I don't want to get married, and I DEFINITELY don't want kids. I do feel a bit lonely at times, but it doesn't bother me at the end of the day.


It's pretty much the same for me, except I'd definitely move the sex into the "do want" category.



hale_bopp
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27 Jan 2010, 7:27 pm

biostructure wrote:
AtomicKaiju wrote:
I've been noticing that I really don't want a relationship all that much. To me, it would be nice to have someone to snuggle with, but everything else that's "required" in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care for sex, I don't want to get married, and I DEFINITELY don't want kids. I do feel a bit lonely at times, but it doesn't bother me at the end of the day.


It's pretty much the same for me, except I'd definitely move the sex into the "do want" category.


so you're saying you're just like 90% of males then? :roll:



biostructure
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27 Jan 2010, 10:29 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
biostructure wrote:
AtomicKaiju wrote:
I've been noticing that I really don't want a relationship all that much. To me, it would be nice to have someone to snuggle with, but everything else that's "required" in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me. I don't care for sex, I don't want to get married, and I DEFINITELY don't want kids. I do feel a bit lonely at times, but it doesn't bother me at the end of the day.


It's pretty much the same for me, except I'd definitely move the sex into the "do want" category.


so you're saying you're just like 90% of males then? :roll:


I guess so :)



MissConstrue
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27 Jan 2010, 10:33 pm

You don't have to have children, marriage or sex in every relationship.

There are some asexuals on this site who are in such relationships but I have to agree with some of the posters. You might find your interests in relationships and outlook on life may change over time.


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28 Jan 2010, 12:24 am

All I have to say is, do what makes you happy, not what will make someone else happy. Don't let people pressure you into having a relationship, if that's not what you really want. Yes, it sucks seeing other couples out in public, while you are stuck by yourself, but do you think that most of them are really as happy as they would like others to believe? I doubt it.