Sex without getting attached?

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Is it an aspie trait if a woman is perfectly capable of having sex without becoming attached to the man, getting emotional? I am wondering because apparently I am in the very small minority of women who can do so. Sure there has to be something in the person that attracts me, but I will not become attached to him during or after sex. In fact, I have found that it is THEY who develop emotional attachment.
Can aspie women identify?

Is this a problem for those who have one-night stands?

Is this a problem for those who pay for or are paid for sex,
where it is legal and well regulated for safety?

Not ever having had sex with a woman I am concerned about what
kinds of issues might arise if someday someway I do.

I'm not the kind of person who would promise to call them and not,
nor wanting to hurt them in unexpected ways. I assume that if they
are experienced then they understand these things more than myself,
or I will never figure it out. Even dating, even as very social people may
date multiple women at the same time, what is the way of finding one's
soulmate, or getting to know more than one, without lots of breakups
and broken hearts?

no. The only time I could do that is if its someone I don't care about, which is the same with most women.

yes. The only man I've ever become attached to has been my husband. I've found that the men in my past usually became more attached to me (not all but some). I however was never one for casual relationships/one night stands. I need to feel comfortable, but not necessarily attached...if that makes sense.

As far as it being an Aspie trait I don't think so. I think there are just people that feel this way, Aspie and otherwise.

Are you people sure its not because you just aren't that into them?

Thats nothing to do with being aspie.

I haven't had sex, but I have gotten physical without becoming attached. I don't attribute it to being Aspie though, there are just guys I was into and guys I wasn't into.

Yes, that was my point. I edited it to be more clear. I was answering yes to the last ? she asked (can I relate. I can and I happen to be an Aspie...but I think that is just a coincidence )

Would it be odd if I confessed that I kind of prefer sex without emotional attachment? The reason is that I feel in control of my feelings and myself. I am 27 years old by the way. If this is not a sign of AS, could it be histrionic or borderline personality?

Only if you crave drama from the encounters (which it doesn't sound like you do). Borderlines (my mom AND mother in law are both Bordelines) crave drama to distract them from their anxiety, which stems from an unstable self-image or idea of core identity (meaning they are unsure of who they really are at their core). They are steretypically anxious about abandonment and get VERY attached when they like someone (they tend to be very extreme, black and white in their thinking). When someone's wearing "the good hat" (as me and my hubby call it, LOL), they are THE BEST. They are "the one" they will be with "forever". When someone threatens their world view or whatever, then they wear, "the bad hat" and are pretty much crap, evil, worthless. I call this "Bunny Boiling" crazy (referring to Fatal Attraction of course). They often change their personality to suit the situation. They are MASTER people-readers and are infamous for "reinventing" themselves to suit their current "soul mate" or obsession. They are usually prime cult material as they want black and white rules to follow and someone to latch on to 110% (this is my MIL for sure, my mom prefers to latch onto me. Oy. Their attachment is not always a sexual one- just attached in one way or another). Famous Borderlines include Madonna and Princess Diana (I also suspect Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan but those haven't been discussed by any experts that I know of).

From what you describe this doesn't sound like you. Sounds like you know who you are and are comfortable in your sexulaity (?) Just a guess. Bordelines tend to seek out dramatic situations. Histrionics do as well (that IS the definition after all, LOL). Of course I'm no doctor, just speeking from my experiences with those close to me personally.

I don't think its an AS trait. I have had no issues with having sex without getting attached. Most of my sexual experiences completely lacked attachment.

I've never had casual sex with people who I was actually into so i can't really say. The last person I was pretty much in a relationship with and we didn't meet for sex, we did most stuff together and stuff and it wasn't based around sex. He is the only guy i've been with who I was actually into, and yes, I developed attachment because the situation wasn't based around sex alone.

I would probably prefer it that way because I find relationships too much work. I would say aspies would be more prone to becoming emotionally attached through developing an obsession for the person than NTs.

I think it would be pretty easily personally, if the "relationship" is based only around sex then it would be harder to develop attachment.

Nothing ruins a good sexual friendship like somebody getting all mushy about it.

I don't quite see the point, but "to each his own", I guess.

I forgot all about the splitting thing.


Alla I don't think you could be diagnosed borderline or histrionic based on that sexual behavior, unless you went to someone wanting to pathologize female sexuality in general.

I can't imagine having a borderline mother and mother in law both (of course that could inspire a connection with a potential spouse, shared misery).

I always imagined Madonna as being way more NPD than borderline. I think if she were borderline she would have self-destructed, note that the other three you mentioned have done just that. Madonna, however, loves herself way too much to do that kind of damage...classic narcissist in my book.

OK, I'm not a woman, but is this having sex and REALLY enjoying it, or just more 'meh'? It depends how you view sex, but yeah it's a good question indeed whether this is attached to aspie/gender as a trait...

Oh, yummy for my tummy! Free sex is good sex, always