Question for the Aspie males that want girlfriends.

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As an aside, I'd posit that recurring, physical, but non-intimate affection with a woman you're infatuated with who feels quite platonic towards you is one of the worst things ever.
It's also known as being a 'cuddle b***h,' and although it sounds nice when you've got no girlfriend... well... it ain't nice.
So careful, before you claim it needn't involve intimacy. If that were true, then one's grandma would be just as well.

What if it was intimate (i.e. closer than you'd let someone in your family get) but not outright sexual? My ex was the kind of woman that wasn't really ready for sex, but wanted a romantic relationship. And on top of that, the women I seem to be attracted to tend to be more the "wait for marriage" types, or other similar things.

I'm not saying i'm asexual, but I don't see sex as an end in and of itself, merely something that just adds to an existing relationship. I'm not a "wait for marriage" person myself, but I would prefer to wait until a relationship has progressed a sufficient amount before jumping in the sack. Also, if I end up with a woman that wants to wait for marriage, I would be fine with such an expectation...

I wasn't clear enough, I suppose; When I say intimate, I mean it as a politically correct way of saying sex, more-or-less. Intimacy is colloquially understood as sexuality, as a common reference. While it could mean other things, that's not generally how it's used or understood in this context.

Ahh, but you have hit on a quite fair point, that of expectations. It very much depends on the culture you and the other person subscribe to. If there is truly, honestly, not-lying-to-yourself, zero expectation(or hope) of sex, then what I was talking about above (which is mildly off-topic) is not applicable.

Nearly all the time, however, this is not the case, as humans are generally exceedingly sexual on a subtle, subconscious level, and the expectation is traditionally there except in the most puritanical communities nowadays. Although, I can understand why it would be difficult to realize or buy into how pervasive it is, if one was generally inexperienced and held a TV-romanticized ideal of relationships and sex. Maybe it's just impossible to see the matrix till you take the red pill.

I'm not trying to say that everything you're going on about is invalid. Sex does exist in spades in modern-day society, I know that. But I don't see the point in rushing it if both parties aren't ready for it... (or even if only one party isn't ready for it)

Toad, your opinions are based on speculation, not experience. You have no idea whether you'll like sex or not. You also go on and on about relationships based on dating a 17 year old for a month, a girl you didn't even kiss. I hate to say it, but you're going to have to climb out of your safety net (your church social life) and get burnt by a real woman to gain some perspective. But you won't, you'll just keep posting on love and dating and saying the same things over and over again.

Why does everyone attack Toad? Isn't he free to have his own opinions without everyone attacking them?

Because he asks for advice but doesn't want to change his way of thinking at all.

Well, that's his way on thinking. Maybe he needs to be left alone to mull over it without being attacked? I dunno!

It looks like you and I have been on this board for about the same amount of time. He's been on here for years, according to other posters, saying the same things over and over again. I understand this place is his venting ground. While some people go to a therapist, he comes here. But to a lot of us, it just ruins an otherwise great board where people have great discussions.

I don't know if you have, but if you haven't, imagine making a post that has nothing to do with Toad, and him hijacking the thread and responding to everyone to get attention for himself. I don't mean this as an attack or insult, but if he acted that way in a relationship, the relationship he says he desperately wants, the girl would run for her life.

I've given him pertinent advice many times, and he just ignores it and says I'm wrong and all the other posters are wrong. I feel bad that he hasn't gotten the help he needs, but its his decision in the end to be miserable.

Going about it without feeling any needs? Seriously? What do you think most common friendships or romances are made of? I for one don't try very hard for any friendship or relationship, because I don't need you. Too needy, then yeah I would agree.

I'm with you on the "what are you going to get out of it" thing, though. (If you are not trying to get after any person in particular) Yeah, what exactly is a person going to solve by getting a companion. You have one? Now what?

Depression untreated is serious business. I should know, I was stubborn like him for years and it almost cost me my life on a couple occasions.

There is not someone for everyone. Quite simply, life just isn't fair and not everyone gets what they deserve, the good or the bad. But that does not mean that you are doomed for failure or that you should just give up. If it is something that is truly important to you, then just don't give up searching for that right girl/guy. The person that you end up with may not seem like the perfect one at first, but you may surprise each other and discover that you are perfect for each other in ways that you didn't know you should look for. I wish you luck with trying to find that.