Dating others with mental disabilities.

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I'd like to add here that AS isn't the only disorder that has varying degrees of severity. Often times with medication, disorders are treated rather effectively.

The point is that they have 'something' that causes quirks, or gives them some understanding of our issues. Not every mental illness out there is severe to the point it would cause troubles worse than AS.

AS, at its severe points, as I understand, can be much worse than other illnesses.

I am strangely attracted to the imperfect and quirky.

Mental disability ?

I really agree with you as well MisterHeron.

Well, my experience with relationships, or good friendships, with women is pretty much all online. Even there, or perhaps because it's over the Internet, my success is markedly increased if the person has a mental illness.

It's not that we should compare Asperger's to mental illnesses, which many of these females have had. I used to have a good friendship with one who has BPD too plus was bipolar. There have been girls with schizophrenia, OCD etc. There is indeed a clear difference in that they tend to be less judgmental of me, than females who are not beset by mental illnesses.

But I recently replied to a topic asking Aspies if they were picked last for sports teams in phys. ed. at school. Go look, the response is almost unanimously yes. Whether it's Asperger's, or whether it's mental illness, it's a question of being picked last in the dating game too. It, sports, and here's another example - the job market - are all competitive.

I imagine this applies to real world dating too.

When I read "Mental disabilities" I immediately thought of ret*ds. I assume that nobody here has that kind of cognitive deficit and Ive always been skeptical that autists, even severe ones, are *mentally* ret*d. I think "Mental disorders" is more appropriate . Anyway, I have met people with mental disorders, I even met 2 people online with BPD but never really got to know them cuz they totally cut me off suddenly and without warning for reasons they wouldnt disclose. I have met people with OCD, tourettes, and bipolar but havent had the chance to meet any schizophrenics. I happen to keep running into bipolar people again and again and Im not sure why. There must be something about my personlity that draws those people to me.....

I think it would be interesting to breed people with differant psychological differances and see which children with different combinations of disorder creates the most uniquely talented kid.

No, I'm not attracted to people on the spectrum unless its physical at first, that hasn't happened. the only person who was autistic in my school was a rather unattractive freshman. She clearly had a crush on me and I was a tad bit repulsed by her, luckily I graduated before she could get any further. Thankfully, she's too dense to know how to stalk properly. From what I've seen of a lot of girls on the spectrum, I'm not impressed, maybe its my standards. Look, I'm sorry, I don't ditch my standards for anyone, if you don't catch my eye from the get-go, it ain't workin' out.

As for the other mental disorders, in the words of the Don

Fugeddaboudit!!

You have to look beyond the disorder though. Under that surface you may find a wonderful person. That has happened to me with the last girl I was in love with (was/am) and who has been coping with severe depressions. Underneath that surface was a truly fascinating person.

Obviously it is not good when the disorder and common pain are the attraction, but it is equally bad when per definition excluding anyone who has issues.

problem is, unless I have a reason (ie. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION) I can't see past that, its like a fly that you cant swat and it keeps getting in the way until you just decide to leave.

BTW, I don't count severe depression as a mental disorder neither do I count AS, anything where you still have some cognitive reason is not a disorder in my book.

I was with someone who was severely bipolar. However, I caught her in the 6 months she was up, and then the next 8 years she was down. It was a mess; she used my tendencies so much against me, I started referring to her as 'the Travel Agent for Guilt Trips' and 'She who Must be Appeased'. Never again.

No thank you.

It works for you fine but why should only "mentally disabled" people get into relationships together with each other?

Some people may need someone to balance them out.

Also, just because you are different doesn't mean you are disabled.

It takes way more guts for those who are different who take the challenge to rise above it than those that are approved. Who learns more?

Palked-I had a similar experience with a Bipolar person who was 2600 miles away but we talked daily on the phone. Bipolar people can be EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE and aspies like me have a hard time fighting back against emotional manipulation.
Manipulative behaviour is indirect aggression and that seems to be how women take out their aggression on men-particularly when bipolars are in a manic state they often have aggressive impulses. Now windscar15, IME there is NO correlation between Aspergers and physical appearance that Ive noticed. Ive seen very attractive aspies(Not IRL mind you)and some ugly ones. But I HAVE noticed that women who could be considered *a bit Odd* for whatever reason IRL do tend to be less than average in terms of their physical attractiveness but not always. It just not convinced that appearance and mental abnormality have a genetic correlation-let alone a statistical one. Im not really ALL that picky about looks, a woman doesnt have to be *Beautiful* for me to like her but she cant be *bad looking*, if you know what I mean . But I WILL say that bipolar women seem to be drawn to me and Im not sure why. Maybe its cuz Im so intense . The issue I have with some women on the spectrum is that they strike me as exceedingly stubborn, many of them have a subnormal sex drive, and have "issues" with men and so they act like they are entitled to men adulating them just for being a woman which I am TOTALLY unwilling to do.

The girl I kinda like myself (who is over 3000 miles away from me ) also has that disorder. I never found her manipulative at all. She's very sensitive but I really like her for who she is. I never had any feeling there'd be an issue if we ever got together (which probably will never happen )

the screws in prison reckoned I had issues impulse control but I think it was just there excuse to lock me down and in regards to being manipulative as alot of people in prison can be, the other women said to me, "orrh Lucy you wouldnt know how to lie if you tried." b*****s

I am just glad I was very well liked by some of the big girls... they looked after me