Aspie Girls what do you like in a guy?

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BigDoubleK
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05 Aug 2010, 12:47 pm

Okay Aspie girls what do you like in a guy? I'm curiois because I've never met a aspie girls before. And aspie girls do you like aspie guys? Or regular guys? And have you ever had a relationship before?



pandorazmtbox
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05 Aug 2010, 1:07 pm

I've had relationships, and I'm just learning about being Aspie, because the greatest love of my life was Aspie. Notice the past tense. I never knew why I was different, but for the first time in my life I had someone who deeply understood me and my eccentricities. Yes, I have had relationships before, but I always spent my life trying to be acceptable, and conform to what others wanted me to be--to seem normal. I'm learning this is a huge part of being an AsperGirl, and I've reached a point in my life that I need to be who I am to be happy, not everyone else's persona.

Sex as an AsperGirl was always painful, and that was difficult to deal with, because neither my NT boyfriends nor I understood about stimulus overload. So, physical discomfort was often followed my psychological discomfort and hurt feelings (you just don't want me to touch you...you must not love me). The relationship I had with my Aspie was confined to online interactions, so the whole overload issue was sort of avoided.

I guess at this point, I'm resolved to be alone so that I can be legitimately myself. I think I'm too heartbroken and mean to stand being with anyone again, maybe not for the rest of my life. I think that's okay if I get to be me in exchange. To answer your question, though, yes--when I was wanting to be with someone I was attracted to that beautiful, dorky, Aspie brain thing. It makes sense to me, it resonates with my own strange wiring and I feel comfortable that way. I love it when a man shows passion about something, and that's one thing you can always count on from an Aspie! :wink: Also, if I could stomach it again, I would want someone who understands me that well again, without me having to explain all the stuff I can't ever put in words. NTs expect and allow me to take on a Normal Persona, and it exhausts me and frustrates me and eats my self-esteem from the inside.


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zeldapsychology
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05 Aug 2010, 1:36 pm

I made a similar topic a few weeks ago. Great minds think alike I guess LOL! I've never met an Aspie guy (outside of WP) so I'm not sure how a real world encounter would go. I think meeting someone like myself would drive be crazy and since alot of Aspies interest differ it could be complicated unless the Aspie friend or boyfriend has the same interest (I hate hearing about you interest in X topic when I don't even care about it and you go on and on and on) I would like that the friend/boyfriend would understand my quirks and hopefully I'd understand theirs. So that's a plus. That's the main thing is for someone to understand me. :-)



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05 Aug 2010, 2:14 pm

BigDoubleK wrote:
Okay Aspie girls what do you like in a guy? I'm curiois because I've never met a aspie girls before. And aspie girls do you like aspie guys? Or regular guys? And have you ever had a relationship before?


Generally the same things NT's do.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2010, 3:03 pm

Women seek the Triforce in men.



zeldapsychology
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05 Aug 2010, 3:14 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Women seek the Triforce in men.



Wisdom,Courage,and Power? LOL!



pandorazmtbox
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05 Aug 2010, 3:36 pm

LOL! Big dorks... :lol:

More like the Trifecta: humor, understanding and enough smarts to be able to work anything else out.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2010, 3:43 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Women seek the Triforce in men.



Wisdom,Courage,and Power? LOL!


Bingo.



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05 Aug 2010, 4:05 pm

They don't call me ZELDAPsychology for nothing! LOL!



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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05 Aug 2010, 4:06 pm

I sometimes prefer something like sitting with our legs touching or a slow, sexy shoulder rub to sex itself. Maybe something about sensory overload. And also, there are so many books and films about what sex 'should' be like it's easy to slip into trying to meet and excel 'normal' standards. And that's not good.



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05 Aug 2010, 4:11 pm

BigDoubleK wrote:
Okay Aspie girls what do you like in a guy? I'm curiois because I've never met a aspie girls before. And aspie girls do you like aspie guys? Or regular guys? And have you ever had a relationship before?


What I like in a guy, is a delightful nerdi-ness. I like a guy who is sensitive, compassionate, and quirky. On the spectrum? Even better! I like to hear a guy go on and on about his obsession, (provided it is interesting to me.) I like a guy with an obscure sense of humor, which oddly matches mine. I find that I much prefer Aspie guys over Nts. I have had relationships with NTs, and they always failed.


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05 Aug 2010, 4:27 pm

Whether I like someone or not has nothing to do with diagnosis.

Most aspie guys don't come across as attractive to me, but there are a few guys with aspie traits i've liked very much.



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05 Aug 2010, 6:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Women seek the Triforce in men.


Lolz :lol: :lol:


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06 Aug 2010, 2:15 pm

I have had relationships before and I was treated horribly in both. The first beat me and made out with guys in front of me and referred to me as his "ret*d gf." The second made me feel all nice...until he cheated. Now he only texts me when he wants a booty call. At this point, almost anything would be better. My expectations aren't incredibly high, since I'm an overweight aspie chick. :(

This doesn't mean I'll be attracted to every guy that's nice to me. Just to get that clear before I get another onslaught of PMs and facebook friend requests from men on WP who freaking stalk me. D:



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06 Aug 2010, 3:13 pm

For the most part I haven't any idea.

I do want someone that's affectionate and tolerant of my quirks. I haven't a clue whether I'd be best suited to a NT or an AS guy.

But I think some of my quirks may ensure that I solo.



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06 Aug 2010, 3:32 pm

BigDoubleK wrote:
Okay Aspie girls what do you like in a guy? I'm curiois because I've never met a aspie girls before. And aspie girls do you like aspie guys? Or regular guys? And have you ever had a relationship before?


I like: sense of humor, intelligence, arrogance kept to a (small) limit, honesty, and enough of an understanding of how I think that we can get along. I don't really care for similar interests, just someone that is willing to try stuff I like and stuff.

I'm not sure if I've known any aspie guys in real life. There is one guy that I am pretty sure was aspie, and I liked him but it didn't last. I would go out with an aspie guy if the opportunity presented itself (and I liked him, of course). I've been in 3 'official' relationships and sorta/almost/kinda involved with one or two other guys.


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