I've had relationships, and I'm just learning about being Aspie, because the greatest love of my life was Aspie. Notice the past tense. I never knew why I was different, but for the first time in my life I had someone who deeply understood me and my eccentricities. Yes, I have had relationships before, but I always spent my life trying to be acceptable, and conform to what others wanted me to be--to seem normal. I'm learning this is a huge part of being an AsperGirl, and I've reached a point in my life that I need to be who I am to be happy, not everyone else's persona.
Sex as an AsperGirl was always painful, and that was difficult to deal with, because neither my NT boyfriends nor I understood about stimulus overload. So, physical discomfort was often followed my psychological discomfort and hurt feelings (you just don't want me to touch you...you must not love me). The relationship I had with my Aspie was confined to online interactions, so the whole overload issue was sort of avoided.
I guess at this point, I'm resolved to be alone so that I can be legitimately myself. I think I'm too heartbroken and mean to stand being with anyone again, maybe not for the rest of my life. I think that's okay if I get to be me in exchange. To answer your question, though, yes--when I was wanting to be with someone I was attracted to that beautiful, dorky, Aspie brain thing. It makes sense to me, it resonates with my own strange wiring and I feel comfortable that way. I love it when a man shows passion about something, and that's one thing you can always count on from an Aspie! Also, if I could stomach it again, I would want someone who understands me that well again, without me having to explain all the stuff I can't ever put in words. NTs expect and allow me to take on a Normal Persona, and it exhausts me and frustrates me and eats my self-esteem from the inside.
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-Amy
without the dark of night we could not see the stars
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