Are there any GOOD dating sites?
Has anyone tried OKCupid?
BTW, the 4:1 ratio only applies to those with an actual diagnosis. It might actually be 2:1 or 1:1.
Even so, the AS diagnosis is on the verge of being phased out with the introduction of the DSM-V.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
BTW, the 4:1 ratio only applies to those with an actual diagnosis. It might actually be 2:1 or 1:1.
Even so, the AS diagnosis is on the verge of being phased out with the introduction of the DSM-V.
Yeah but without the diagnosis how many are going to go on Aspie Affection??
JustEmbers
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 5 Oct 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 41
Location: Midvale, Utah U.S.A.
Just signed up on Aspie Affection. I've been getting the same error from the link on the left; I didn't try the top right, but I will. It's funny, after so many very, very crappy experiences on dating sites (some won't even let you close your account!) I'm already a bit sick, and kicking myself for signing up. This could be very cool, or very bad. I'm waiting to find out if I've pulled another massive, and typically Julian (my name is Julia btw, that wasn't a reference to anything historical), TMI faux pas (making a royal ass out of myself online in the process), or for some scum bag to start trying to induce me into a ménage à trois, with the assumption that I must be "that type" simply because I care more about the person than their particular bits and pieces (aka being bisexual). I'll give it a week, and if I'm regretting it too much by then I'll cancel my account and try really hard not to think about the fact that I opened it in the first place. Ugh. Books are SOOOO much safer than people.
_________________
"Everything's plastic, we're all gonna die." Elizabeth Wurtzel
Sedaka
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind
i am catrona1 on okcupid.
i met my bf there as well as a wonderful group of oddballs that i now hang out with on a quazi weekly basis.
i like the site cause it's free and and has quizzes and such to amuse myself with... but i don't know how to compare it to other dating sites... especially since i've never used any of the pay sites.
_________________
Neuroscience PhD student
got free science papers?
www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl
BTW, the 4:1 ratio only applies to those with an actual diagnosis. It might actually be 2:1 or 1:1.
Even so, the AS diagnosis is on the verge of being phased out with the introduction of the DSM-V.
Yeah but without the diagnosis how many are going to go on Aspie Affection??
Many Aspies, particularly female ones, are undiagnosed, or have a diagnosis other than AS, but still elsewhere on the spectrum. When people say they are looking for another Aspie, I think it can be implied that they are looking for someone anywhere on the spectrum.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
Last edited by Tim_Tex on 08 Oct 2010, 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
i met my bf there as well as a wonderful group of oddballs that i now hang out with on a quazi weekly basis.
i like the site cause it's free and and has quizzes and such to amuse myself with... but i don't know how to compare it to other dating sites... especially since i've never used any of the pay sites.
I like the quizzes as well on there. I was in a brief friend-with-benefits situation with someone I met on there.
_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!
Now proficient in ChatGPT!
I personally find dating a waste of time, I want to forge a connection without trying to force it.
I respectfully disagree, I have met plenty of women off dating sites locally.
I have had the most luck with Plenty of Fish, and a few of the social networking sites in the past.
so after many times trying on match.com (and getting nowhere) and trying e-harmony once (and only getting gold digger harry potter reading sports fanatic women) i recently decided to try the lesser known and free sites like okcupid and plenty of fish.
Okcupid has better content and design compared to Plenty of Fish which frankly looks like a site from the early 2000s with not much design for a modern, seemingly popular online dating site like their absolute horribly plain instant message system. So as you suspect as it is the internet, i take online dating with not much expectation of seeing good and active results with these sites. However plenty of fish has been sending messages of two women who want to meet me, so i look at their profiles.
and as i know profiles are just superficial drummed up banter of how wonderful and neat we all are and how awesome we are in relationships and what we are looking for and so forth, i still want to contact these women. the problem being is the beginning. I can hope against hope that they would send messages but i have learned that women want to be messaged first not the other way around. So you write a message hoping to give a good, honest, friendly, positive description of yourself in the hopes that they would reciprocate and then its on to message 2 and so forth, and the questions/inquiries start becoming a little more direct a little more expectatory a little more open, yet you haven't even met in person. so you are really thinking what the person really is real life and how awesome it will be to meet them and date them. But you dont want to come off as being desperate, or even too out of the mainstream social schedules of your peers so you start lying to them and yourself about how busy you are, and what you got planned in the next month and how many states you have visited in the year and where you went on vacation and with how many of your friends did you get drunk with last night and watch pineapple express with.
but it could all be a lie and that person would have no idea till they meet you and you are expecting them to like you as you are after having these wonderful in depth ongoing conversations and disclosures about eachother.
i have been out of serious relationships since my late teens which is almost 10 years ago and the "relationships" since then have all lasted less than 6 weeks with more emphasis on the physical relationship while being friends than ever getting to the point of having an emotional relationship. But you think you fit in to what they really want in a man i.e a hardworker, a comedian, a sports fan, a health nut, a social butterfly, etc but if you dont fit their perceptions of you in the short amount of time they are with you, well your relationship is headed towards a failing unstoppable abrupt demise.
and then i see people on here talking about the aspie dating sites like aspie affection which was said to be fixed a month ago and i check it out, and there are ZERO members online with i would say a still rather suspect very basic feel to it as well. so here we are as aspies wanting to date and be intimate with another person and we dont seem to be able to meet eachother regularly on the predominately NT dating sites. yes i understand we're an unspoken misunderstood ignored minority in the lore of the cool adult actions on the dating sites, but what gives?
i feel im destined to be a disappointment to women til at least im 40 when maybe either A: i have figured it all out and able to hold a relationship longer than 6 weeks or B: women have made their expectations a little clearer, more realistic, and flexible for their ideal man. This is not in any way supposed to be a fight directed towards women in general or users of these sites, just my observations on the topsy turvy world of online dating.
Last edited by Musicprophets on 13 Nov 2010, 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
TheMinnesotaIceman
Toucan
Joined: 1 Dec 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 262
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
^ This
i would recommend okcupid but yeh don't rely on it or others.
i have met 4 girls from it and 3 of them became my girlfriend hahaha
you might want to put more efort into your profile. it is tough though because you don't want to appear someone you are not but you still need to sell yourself. i would say some nice pictures is useful.
I haven`t really found anyone good myself, but this one seems to be quite good for Americans: http://www.okcupid.com (from other countries there are not very many people registered, but I have been able to contact people without paying.
Generally, however, most dating sites first will tell you that it is free, but it is NOT! Well, it is free to REGISTER, but you have to pay in order to contact people, and what should be the point to register if you cannot contact anyone? Besides, I am not sure if all are very serious. I suspect that some of the women on the sites are actually models put there to get more people interested. Some of them are very attractive and are pictured in a very sexy pose. And the same pictures stay there for a very long time!
I'm not sure what other people think on this, but I get the feeling that date sites are too gimmicky. I also get the feeling there a bit of a 'game'. There are genuine people out there in the midst of this seeking a partner - as I can see in this thread - and its interesting because the prospect of contacting a ton of woman, with the notion of more possibility in replies being at the forefront, isn't, for me, very appealing - it just feels wrong, well, for me anyway - and, although I can't put my finger on the exact reason why, something isn't right about them.
I would say, currently, there are no date sites that are good. But nothing is definitive, there’s a few sites recommended, and success stories, within this thread that may prove successful for you.
However, deep down I believe our loss of interaction, our accustomed perspectives and judgements, that psychologically affect us, have impinged on our humanity - we are restricted, like a certificate 15 movie. I wonder what Socrates would write on his okcupid profile.
What's good and bad is rather relative. I suspect like anything else in life, you get more out of it if you put more into it, and there's a fair amount of luck involved. I use online dating sites because I don't have the slightest interest in bars/clubs. They're crowded, noisy, and boring to me. I'd rather be honest and just say I'm something of a homebody and when I do go out, I like one on one or small group interactions only. If girls don't like that, that's their loss, because I'd rather be alone than be something I don't want to be.
I've thought of doing other activities like volunteering, but if I do it, I'd want to do it because I wanted to, not because I'm just trying to meet women, for the same reason I don't do bars and clubs. If you're doing something only as a screen to meet women, it's dishonest and that's a poor foundation for a relationship, IMHO. Either way, it's a small amount of interaction and the probability of meeting someone that way is just as low as anything else. I don't do social networking. This is not going to happen. It's something I had to explain to career counselors on multiple occasions. I find it confusing and exhausting and I'm just not going to put forth the gargantuan effort it would require for me to mimic this NT behavior. Once again, if girls don't like that, then there are plenty of other guys out there, this isn't the guy you're looking for, move along.
Low response rates are not a bad thing. They indicate the site is doing what it's supposed to be doing, allowing people to screen who they are interested in and not interested in. If a girl doesn't respond, it's a good thing, because now that's 1 down, billions to go, and I didn't have to spend a ton of energy and time going to some social event, guessing at non verbal cues, and risking messing up a first encounter with some minor quirk. We can increase our odds without being sociable. It's the perfect venue for aspies, IMHO.
I take a different take than most of the people here. The way I look at it. I have a great deal to offer to a potential partner, if they're willing to accept my eccentricities and limitations. They're human beings too and if I don't fit what they want and need in a partner then I really don't want them wasting their time on me. It's statistically almost certain that there are women out there who would love to be with a guy like me, and the challenge is finding them. I believe online dating sites to be the most likely way to find qualities like introversion, shyness, and other qualities I'm looking for. It's also a way to find people with a desire to find a relationship and actually talk to someone and see if they're right for you rather than a Disney magic hope love falls out of the sky and beans me on the head attitude (something that annoys me to no end).
I'm using OKCupid now, but in the past I had most success with Yahoo Personals and Match.com. Eharmony I've only tried briefly, but might again because it seems to take a very pragmatic "no nonsense" approach to relationships.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Dating difficulties |
26 Feb 2024, 9:23 am |
Dating Issues |
03 Mar 2024, 11:10 pm |
Struggling with dating apps |
20 Mar 2024, 10:41 pm |
I wouldn't survive dating in 2024 |
26 Apr 2024, 8:45 am |