Aspie men: How do you win an NT girl?

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Or is this an impossible task? Do we just not have what it takes to compete with the alpha jock men that NT women go for?

Most NT girls my age are much more social than I am. The one I am interested in at work I am pretty sure is NT. She's very professional, hardworking, organised, mature, but a lot more outgoing than I am. We have a very friendly and sometimes flirtatious relationship. I don't know how to take things to the next level though.

Aspie men often want to go for NT women, I find, because they want someone more streetsmart than him, to keep his head screwed on. I am finding this incredibly difficult, though, I must say.

Refer to my "How to improve your chances with women" thread...the short of it is, lower your standards and think about what woman is good for you, not the kind of woman you'd like to have. Similar people date similar people.

Wouldn't the better choice of people to ask how to get NT girls be....NT girls?

Most of the men here are inhibited from getting women by their own misconceptions like they cling to like I do my model of shoes. Happy with this model. Not buying another one.

Last edited by Chronos on 24 Nov 2010, 4:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think some Aspie guys(like me) are incompatible with the majority of NT women or maybe women in general. Lots of NT guys often complain about how women are not direct, women use reverse psychology instead of saying what they really mean, play hard-to-get ect.

*facepalm*

how do you "win" an NT girl?
why, by knocking 10 pins down at the win-a-girl carnival game, of course

honestly though, it varies from girl to girl. They're individual unique people, and as such, there is no one cure-all technique or way of being that will guarantee success.

also, you can't win somebody who doesn't want to be won.
just putting that out there .

and just remember that romantic novels and chick flicks are not very good representatives of how things work in real life.
many things that work for guys in fiction stories to get the girl, will, in real life more likely just land you with a restraining order .

Statistically, any person you fall for is likely to be NT, not aspie, simply because there are way more NTs than aspies. Of course you could set out to find an aspie and only an aspie, but that's a different matter.

Very true but I find I'm more attracted to women who have less street-smarts & have other quirks that make em hard to fit in & deal with things in life. My problem is women won't give me a chance for lots of rezones. They use me, lie to me or play mind-games. Women want a guy who sux less with life than typical Aspies even thou the women may have lots of problems as well

I was reading Dr Tony Attwood's complete guide to AS, and he states that men with AS often seek out a partner who is more street smart; whilst Aspie women tend to want men like themselves. If that's so, how come I've not met any Aspie women yet? At least I don't think I have.

I think using the word win here may point to some fundamental problems with how you think about and relate to women. It's not about winning. She's not a trophy. You don't undergo some gruelling challenge and defeat some end of level boss and win Princess Toadstool. It's about being; being a person she wants to be with.

Aspie women are very rare in 'the wild'.

The ratio of Aspie men to Aspie women is 4 to 1. I think that guide is BS because there's lots of Aspie women here but none of em are interested in me either. I've got the impression here that some Aspie women don't want Aspie guys. The women think that a guy with problems will somehow make her problems worse. I personally think that in lots of cases people with problems can better relate, understand & help support each other but no one is interested in me because of my problems so obviously women don't agree with me about that I think us Aspie guys will be better off moving to countries that have arranged marriages, or giving up on relationships or turning gay instead

By here, do you mean Wrong Planet, nick? I don't want to be rude, but the focus of a great many of your posts seem to be your problems. I don't think that's very attractive. You really do need to work on becoming a positive person with something to offer people. It's okay to have problems, but when they are almost the core of what you are, then that's a problem.

Half the rezone I have problems is because others consider em problems. I tend to like women with problems so I don't get why women with problems don't like me

That's kinda zen, but ahh, you know... most people can tolerate people with some problems, but they get into the relationship for a person, not a cluster of problems.

I'm NOT most people so the person best suited for me will likely not be like most others either. I spent years trying to be positive but no one was willing to give me a chance. The only time a woman actually liked me was years ago when I was extremely depressed & making lots of rants about it. Maybe I'm not negative enough & I should start talking about suicide & wanting to flip-out & go crazy because that worked before. Trying to be more positive has not done jack f#ckin $h!t for me

I think my problem is I'm too nice because women would rather be with abusive lying cheaters than me. i need to quit listening to em b!tch about the guy they are with or chasing & start bossing em around but I cant bring myself to do that

That gave me a chuckle. Now I'm imagining a special on the elusive Aspie Female, as narrated by David Attenborough.



You stating such an ugly and gross generalization suggests that you are not, in fact, "nice." Also, I would recommend that you check your premise; it sounds like you are not associating with the healthiest/highest quality of women.

As evidence, a real-life (well, sort of) demonstration of the evolution of your problem: I like you when you're not being misogynistic (or maybe I liked you until I read your more misogynistic comments). Which isn't to say that I dislike you, but I am definitely turned off by the frequent insults being slung in my general direction. I think it is fair to say that most women are not terribly put off by a man having some issues--everyone has some issue or other. They are, however, almost always put off by negativity, especially when that negativity is directed right at them.