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Have you done this?
Yes 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No 89%  89%  [ 8 ]
Thought about it 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 9

boosterjones
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24 Jan 2011, 10:36 pm

Now, although I'm yet to do this (as I'm yet to seriously feel the need to do so, plus I'm not sure if any of the girls I know would be willing to go though with it) I was wondering if any of you guys and gals have tried to 'mould' someone into their own perfect partner?

Some may say that it's a good thing (as it's a means to an end) some may say it is wrong (as it may involve getting people to do things that they may not normally do) but I'm sure that it has crossed the minds of many of you out there to take this course of action.

And who knows, maybe someone has gone and done this and it has worked??? (could happen you know...)

Normally this does not work, but I'm still interested in those stories anyhow...

Goodbye Till Next Time.



andriarose
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24 Jan 2011, 11:29 pm

I have had multiple men, who claimed to like me the way I am, attempt to mould me into someone else.

I find it to be one of the most hurtful, insulting things someone could do, and it has caused the end of every relationship in which someone tried it on me. They were all friends before partners, and liked me just fine as a friend. Once we became involved, however, I wasn't allowed to be myself anymore. I was supposed to magically change into their dream girl. What the crap? :evil:

How would you feel if someone claimed to like you, but as soon as you become romantically involved they start telling you what to wear, how to act, how to change to be everything they want you to be...
...and all of those demands they make are contradictory to the person you are and always have been?

It is dishonest, manipulative, and cruel. I would suggest getting it out of your head now before you hurt someone you care about. :(



vileseagulls
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25 Jan 2011, 1:29 am

What is this, an instruction manual for abuse? Don't do it. Period.



Who_Am_I
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25 Jan 2011, 3:53 am

Quote:
'Moulding' a partner


is creepy.


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Daemonic-Jackal
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25 Jan 2011, 5:33 am

andriarose wrote:
How would you feel if someone claimed to like you, but as soon as you become romantically involved they start telling you what to wear, how to act, how to change to be everything they want you to be...
...and all of those demands they make are contradictory to the person you are and always have been?

It is dishonest, manipulative, and cruel. I would suggest getting it out of your head now before you hurt someone you care about. :(


I can actually relate to this as it works both ways. I've never tried to change anyone but have had ex's tried to change me into someone else in the past, the reason some of my previous relationships haven't last is because I haven't budged to their demands.

It's just another way of them trying to be over-posessive. If you don't like someone for exactly who they are, then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place.


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boosterjones
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25 Jan 2011, 5:46 am

You are all right, in saying that it is wrong to do and please don't think that I'll try it out.

All I was wondering was if anyone has done this kind of thing, or would have reasons for condoning it.

Thank you for your reply's.