If only she lived closer...
My online dating stalemate briefly ended yesterday when someone made first contact with me (a rarity). It was just a simple question about what my favourite movie was and I was polite and answered it.
I would have probably liked to try and get to know her better, however the major dealbreaker in this connection was her distance to me. I live in Toronto, while she lives in Guelph. I sadly can't date anyone outside of the city (without major complications) because I don't drive and rely heavily on public transportation to make my way around (according to Google maps it would 2-3 hours for me to take the train to Guelph).
It's a shame, because she seemed to be a good match for me.
So what? Take the train ride and see if it is worth it. Look at it this way - what would you do with 2 to 3 hours anyway? Okay. 3 hours up, 3 hours back, 3 hours with her. That's 9 hours. It will be like a day at work. If you get lucky, maybe you can sleep over. BUT it MUST be worth it. Go twice a month BUT continue to try to meet other people. Take the chance and see what happens. As a young woman, I grew up in a busy, highly populated city - Philadelphia. I was attractive, good-natured, and in shape by the time I was in my late twenties. I couldn't meet a soul! I met my current husband by commuting to NYC twice a month for a year. He also commuted the other two times per month. We saw each other every weekend. It cost me a fortune to take the train but it was worth it. After that, we married and moved to Jersey City. We've been together for 20 years. When I look at him, I see him with just as much love and lust as I did when I first laid eyes on him. He gives me the chills - still! The train ride was pleasant but expensive. Go for it!!
i agree with this. in the end, if things work out, people can move to a new location. i think distance doesn't have to be a dealbreaker.
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spongy
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Agreed with what has ben stated by rightgalaxy/hyper.
I had a friend in high school that used to do over 10 hours train rides to see his gf whenever he had the time. Some people thought t was the most stupid thing ever but I got a chance of looking at some of the things they exchanged while they were away and I was able to understand why he did it.
Im not saying that you should just buy a train ticket right now or anything but you should give her a fair chance(aka attemptto get to know her etc) before you say that it wont work out.
She seems quite nice.
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I actually moved 1200 miles due to love before. To a new location where I had no base to feel safe from. The problem isn't so much distance, but its commitment. I was actually working with a older guy at the time and had told him that I liked her but she was far away now. He said "then why are you still here debating the issue?", I told him that "shes too far away", and he simply told me that I was young. That if I liked her, to quit my job and do whatever it takes. So I told him ok - 2 week notice (right then), and packed up my car/traveled with about $2000 and whatever I could fit in the back of my car (hatchback). Ended up in a different state 2 days later with no real idea of how or what I was going to do. But at least I was happy.
But I never really regretted my stupidity, nor taking the chance. Because things can always be complicated - you can be like those jerks that say "oh, theres fish (they use a different word) everywhere", or just go after what you desire in life.
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MONKEY
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2-3 hour train ride isn't too bad at all! It's about 4 hours train ride between me and my bf but it's worth it and the journey is straight forward and affordable as long as we stick to cheap or free activities. And we spend a few days at a time with each other.
The distance shouldn't be a deal breaker, 2/3 hours is good!
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I'd think twice before getting involved with anybody who lived a long way off. Done it twice, both times the dame in question got all ga-ga about moving to my town, but one chickened out and the other moved in and then moved out again. If we'd lived in the same town from the start, there'd never have been that problem. I guess it's not the end of the world for the right couple, but it's an extra headache, somebody's got to pull up their roots, and that's not often such a great thing. I simply don't want to move, I've got too much going on here and I don't want to lose it.
I know someone who moved 28hours on a plane to be with a woman he fell in love with online.
edit... actually i know a few that did the same thing but moving here.
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