What did he mean by this?

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The other day i was saying to my brother "I am feeling hopeful that i will be able to get a meaningful long relationship with a girl one day" my brother who is almost 19 years old then said to me "Well then your just being unrealistic and setting too high and unrealisitc goals for yourself". My brother is aware that i have aspergers syndrome.

What do you think my brother might have meant by that in more detail?????

Your brother was being nasty to you as siblings sometimes are. I'm sure he doesn't believe what he said and was just thinking to himself "now how can I say something mean back to that" and that's what he came up with.

Of course you can have a meaningful long-term relationship.

Not if your a man with aspergers you can't

Yes you can! Proof: some relatives I will not name that are not diagnosed but exhibit even more autistic traits than I do and who are MOST certainly on the spectrum if I am. Married, long-term.

i'd guess he had neurotypical assisiations normal for his age;
at his age, long-lasting relationships are still considered 'bad'; you are 'supposed' to be hunting for one-night stands, short term relationships and platonical sex, or so his brain tells him; your disire for a long-lasting relationship is just 'weird' for him (and other NT's his age)

Sad to think the wife/girlfriend i could have had if I was non autistic is in a relationship or marrying somebody else with absolutely no clue i ever existed. if it wasn't for me getting that damn vacination when i was 2 years old that gave me autisim i could have been with that girl i never got too meet. Sigh

Obviously, your younger brother was just telling you what you want to hear because we have visited and revisited this topic with you on many occasions already. You, more than him, reinforces this ridiculous notion that AS has paralyzed you. As a functioning adult with AS, I'm offended.



That's a BS troll statement. Please stop saying crap like this.

Bullsh*t.

I was engaged for three years to an amazing man with Aspergers.

Too many guys spend too much time on WP and start to think being male and Autistic de facto means trouble with dating and relationships.

It doesn't.

Getting a bit hostile towards me hear. i did have it coming though so maybe i should lock this thread?

I mean i wasn't trying to wind people up in what i said in thread i guess i can just be a bit careless with words sometimes. Obviously i have pissed off a few people with not much class on this forum. But seriously though swearing is just such an immature way of trying to make a point okay.

Last edited by Jamesy on 14 May 2011, 10:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, Jamesy, not hostile. Just honest. I'm not going to continue to argue the point I've already argued. Others can do that and give you pats on the back for having a mean brother that you claim always picks on you and your parents love more, but we're not in The Haven, so I don't feel obligated to play along.

I'm willing to bet in Vegas that the truth is that most of this is in your head and your brother is only taking your cue about what you can and cannot do as an adult with AS, and that your parents only gravitate more towards your brother right now because he's not depressed. Depressed people are challenging and draining. They may not be able to handle it all the time. This means that you need therapy and medication. If you are on medication, it's not working and you need something different or a stronger dose of what you have. You need treatment.

You're an adult now, Jamesy. You have to take responsibility for yourself.

"If you cannot do the impossible, do what's necessary then do what's possible; and, suddenly, you're doing the impossible." - St. Francis of Assisi

So, you think having a relationship is impossible. Don't do that then. Instead, go get proper treatment - that is necessary. Then, start talking to people and just being friends - that is possible. One day, suddenly, you'll find yourself in a relationship. That's how it works. Stop moping here and go give it a try.

Yeah sorry i take back some bits of what i said in my previous comment above

i am not really depressed but i just get fustrated sometimes or bored. is feeling angry the same as being depressed?

I am taking Omega 3 fish oil tablets to treat my depression. as for medication is it safe too take or not? I heard some medication like anti depressents can have bad side effects.

No, it is not the same.



1) the link with autism has never been proved conclusively, 2) I didn't have the jab and I still got asperger's.