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SammichEater
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20 May 2011, 3:50 pm

I'm probably going to look like an idiot for writing this, but whatever, I want to know. I've heard women say that relationships aren't just about sex. But that doesn't make any sense. If that's not what it's about, then what is it? What else is there that separates just an ordinary friendship from a romantic relationship?

Just as soon as I think I have it all figured out, it seems as if there's a whole bunch more crap I don't understand.


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MXH
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20 May 2011, 3:59 pm

Theres more to intimacy than just sex.



purchase
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20 May 2011, 4:08 pm

Ask a romantic asexual (that would not be me). Desire for romance is intimacy beyond typical friendship level stuff and a distinct kind of love/adoration/affection/devotion that is not necessarily linked to sex in every person.



GoatOnFire
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20 May 2011, 5:09 pm

It's about exchange as well.

For example, say some dude has a lot of money, and some chick is high maintenance. High maintenance chick realizes that dude with lot of money can cover her maintenance costs. So high maintenance chick starts relationship with dude with lot of money. In exchange she sometimes lets him stick his hot dog in her fire station.

So in this instance the relationship isn't just about sex. It is about money as well. Based off of exchange. There are other examples along these lines, too.


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SammichEater
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20 May 2011, 6:35 pm

purchase wrote:
Ask a romantic asexual (that would not be me). Desire for romance is intimacy beyond typical friendship level stuff and a distinct kind of love/adoration/affection/devotion that is not necessarily linked to sex in every person.


So, there is more to it. I should have known it has something to do with love; a concept I do not understand in the slightest.

GoatOnFire wrote:
It's about exchange as well.

For example, say some dude has a lot of money, and some chick is high maintenance. High maintenance chick realizes that dude with lot of money can cover her maintenance costs. So high maintenance chick starts relationship with dude with lot of money. In exchange she sometimes lets him stick his hot dog in her fire station.

So in this instance the relationship isn't just about sex. It is about money as well. Based off of exchange. There are other examples along these lines, too.


That makes sense.


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hadrian_f
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20 May 2011, 6:57 pm

Personally I would love not to fall asleep alone but holding someone in my arms, nothing necessarily sexual about that.



ValentineWiggin
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20 May 2011, 7:03 pm

SammichEater wrote:
I'm probably going to look like an idiot for writing this, but whatever, I want to know. I've heard women say that relationships aren't just about sex. But that doesn't make any sense. If that's not what it's about, then what is it? What else is there that separates just an ordinary friendship from a romantic relationship?

Just as soon as I think I have it all figured out, it seems as if there's a whole bunch more crap I don't understand.


Romantic love. I personally have never rubbed noses with/cuddled with/talked about having children with/adopted pets with/bought a house with/kissed/married a "friend". There's a huge world of difference.

A romantic relationship - sex =/= friends, or else a romantic relationship would be synonymous with a "friends with benefits" situation.

And moreover, the women you're referring to didn't even say "sex is not required for a romantic relationship" (it seems to be very important, at least to sexuals) they said it's not about JUST that.



SammichEater
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20 May 2011, 7:34 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Romantic love. I personally have never rubbed noses with/cuddled with/talked about having children with/adopted pets with/bought a house with/kissed/married a "friend". There's a huge world of difference.


My point is, just about all of that you mentioned can be considered sexual in some way. Rubbing noses/cuddleing/kissing are all intimate activities that ultimately lead up to sex. Marrying, buying a house, and having children are all family things. But sexual reproduction is required in most cases to start a family.

ValentineWiggin wrote:
A romantic relationship - sex =/= friends, or else a romantic relationship would be synonymous with a "friends with benefits" situation.

And moreover, the women you're referring to didn't even say "sex is not required for a romantic relationship" (it seems to be very important, at least to sexuals) they said it's not about JUST that.


Yes, I realize that. I have just observed that romantic relationships seem to usually be about sex. According to her (and many others) there is much more to it than that, but when I look at a couple, all I see is nothing but intimacy in one form or another.


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