How can you say, "I love you!" too early?
Well, you kinda open your mouth, and then you say "I love you." Usually done so when the other person is in the vicinity.
Oh, wait, that's not what the thread's about.
I agree with Chronos. I think it's a kind of commitment thing. Saying "I love you" is a strong commitment to a relationship. People may choke on that kind of commitment. The problem, too, is that the words almost need to be reciprocated. If someone tells you, you need to say it as well.
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If you're up for a commitment. This is why people break up when the words are one-sided; one person wants a commitment, the other wants to keep their options open, or hasn't really thought about things in that way before hearing the words. Not all relationships work out, but often it's better to know where you stand.
While "I love you" can mean different things in different contexts, in private in a non-platonic relationship it typically means you intend to make some kind of commitment to the other person.
If you're up for a commitment. This is why people break up when the words are one-sided; one person wants a commitment, the other wants to keep their options open, or hasn't really thought about things in that way before hearing the words. Not all relationships work out, but often it's better to know where you stand.
While "I love you" can mean different things in different contexts, in private in a non-platonic relationship it typically means you intend to make some kind of commitment to the other person.
Oh, exactly, that's what I meant. If one person feels that way and the other doesn't, then it goes haywire. It needs to be said in order to keep the relationship happy. I should've been clearer on that.
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poopylungstuffing
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fooh
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Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 21 Aug 2011, 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
She ended our relationship like a week later.
NEVER tell your S.O. that you love them...
Love is boring and overpriced.
Love is priceless.
She ended our relationship like a week later.
NEVER tell your S.O. that you love them...
Love is boring and overpriced.
Love is hardly boring. Overpriced? Depends on who you fall in love with.
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Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
She ended our relationship like a week later.
NEVER tell your S.O. that you love them...
Love is boring and overpriced.
Love? what's that?
ValentineWiggin
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I don't get it, either. But then I've never been one to drag out the whole getting-to-know-you process via months of weekly one or two hour dates. My first "date" with my current bf was a week long.
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Fatal-Noogie
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She ended our relationship like a week later.
NEVER tell your S.O. that you love them...
Love is boring and overpriced.
Love is hardly boring.
In fact, I routinely reprimand the mutually infatuated
for behaving insufficiently entertaining.
There's no icon for a bored smiley munching popcorn and looking thru binoculars,
but if there was, I would use it here.
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Curiosity is the greatest virtue.
She ended our relationship like a week later.
NEVER tell your S.O. that you love them...
Love is boring and overpriced.
Love is hardly boring.
In fact, I routinely reprimand the mutually infatuated
for behaving insufficiently entertaining.
There's no icon for a bored smiley munching popcorn and looking thru binoculars,
but if there was, I would use it here.
Fair enough.
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Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
I think lots of people say it too soon. I think their is being in Lust, being in deep like and being in Love.
The man i am seeing. I really like him. I like him more then i should and i am also deeply in lust with him. I don't "Love" him yet. I could see that eventuality in the future.
We both say to each other "I love you doing xyz." ect.
When I fall in love with him, I will sit him down and have a frank discussion about it.
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I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush
Instead of blurting out 'I love you' and hoping for the best you can say it a more subtle and less committed way.
You can wait until you are both laughing at something and say "you know I could really fall in love you sometimes" or wait until she does something you like and then say "if you keep doing that I'm going to fall in love with you".
Say it somewhere private and relaxed when it is just the two of you, after you have kissed for example, it wouldn't go down well in the middle of the office or if the thing you like is her going dutch at a restaurant.
It introduces the idea of love but doesn't actually say it so she has the option of making a joke and backing off or encouraging you.
If she encourages you wait until you have seen her a couple of more times or give it a few days/weeks depending on how fast you think the relationship is moving and say " I'm definitely going to fall in love with you" and see how she reacts again.
Again if she encourages you, you can wait a little bit and say "I think I'm falling in love you" if you still aren't sure she feels the same way, that means she has had 3 opportunities to discourage or encourage you.
If she breaks physical contact with you straight after you say it or if she suddenly starts to make excuse for why she can't see you as much that is a bad sign, she might not feel the same way about you or think the relationship is moving too quickly.
If she moves closer to you or you kisses you after you say it or if she says something like 'hurry up, I won't wait forever' that is a good sign that she feels the same way about you.
Alternatively you could get advice from an NT, I'm generally pretty bad myself at reading people!
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Location: Metro Detroit area, MI, US
The initial stages of a relationship are all about getting to know the basics of each other: personality quirks, social comfort, etc, etc. As the relationship progresses, there is revelation of other informations: interests, family dynamics, past events, etc, etc (and all the stuff people call "emotional baggage"). The revelations are exposed gradually, in waves, as time and the relationship progress.
If you say "I'm love you" before she is ready, it can be an overwhelming moment - too much of a reveal, too much of a tsunami - and it can make the other person feel like you've "locked" the process of revelation: "I love you" is heard as "I love you as you are right now" and the victim (the person who's not yet ready) is knocked over by the wave/the words and the realization that the slow waves - the slow revelation process - is at an end, and that anything not yet revealed MUST be revealed now before there can be any faith that you have any idea what the h*** you're talking about by claiming you love them when you "don't even really know who I am yet".
They immediately feel the overwhelming truth that they haven't finished telling you all of who they are yet. And if they still have chapters and chapters that they believe you must be aware of before you truely know their character... before you could truely love them... The book report is due now, and they aren't ready to stand up in front of the class and talk. And you are the teacher telling them: Talk now or get a Failing Grade. That's a lot of pressure.
Sorry for mixing metaphors. I hope I got my idea through.
Oddfiction, that was awesome!
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