Polygamy and Polyamory

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What is everyones opinion? We have a gay marriage thread.
Aren't we discriminating against polyamorous relationships
too though? This is interesting to me for obvious reasons.

Last edited by calandale on 29 Apr 2007, 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's ok for other people, but I am squeamish about it for myself.
Whatever floats yer boat..

It takes me long enough to trust/feel comfortable with one person...throwing more into the mix seems kinda scary to me..then again...I have been attracted to people outside my relationship...and that meant ending the relationship because it was "forbidden" for me to have those feelings...When in the end i really belonged with the first person (and we are back together)...neither of them woulda been receptive to some sorta polyamorous thing......My boyfriend has done it before...He used to have two girlfriends.....but he has double standards...he would be much more comfy with me bringing another girl into the relationship than another guy..And I would feel insecure about having another girl around..as he would feel insecure about having another guy around...

blah blah blah

I dunno..'s complicated....

they're wrong-the whole religion is well weird and flawed (in my opinion-mind you I am against religion all together)

Who brought religion into this?
What do you know of the Mysticism of Three anyhow?

I'm more worried about the legal issue. See, if homosexual
marriage is allowable, why not polyamorous marriage? I
know that this is something that's usually brought up by
the opponents of gay marriage, and those of us who support
both, kind of keep our mouths shut about this, as we want
the one to pass anyhow, but it seems like this is a decent
place to consider the issue.

Polygamy is illegal in Utah, and was made so as a condition for statehood. Polygamists do exist in the state of Utah (and Arizona as well) although they are not a large amount of them statistically.

The Salt Lake Tribune compares two Polygamist communities with the rest of the states of Utah, and Arizona.

Median Household Income
Colorado City, AZ -- AZ
Median Age-- 14.3 -- 34.2
Average Family Size-- 7.58 -- 3.18
Median Income-- $32,826 -- $40,558
Families Below Poverty Level-- 29% -- 9.9%
Median value of owner occupied home -- $99,200 -- $121,300
Homes Not Mortgaged -- 92% -- 25.1%

(source, you will find the Utah statistics similar if somewhat worse)



(source)

One can debate the whether such a policy is stringent enough. Groups opposed to polygamy feel current policies are not strongly enough enforced.

I oppose the legalization of polygamy. I am not saying that every person who is involved in such a household is bad or anything like that. Polygamy's roots in human history are very old, and rather understandable. Certainly, the tradition of multiple wives exists where the tradition of same-sex marriage does not. However, we have moved far beyond the age in which women so out numbered men to do deaths in combat that we require to enforce such notions regardless of their countering negative side effects.

Polygamy is not about intimacy or love; It's primarily about status and economics. Examine the societies that accept polygamy. The unmarried women there are bartered for all kinds of things and are considered as property. From what I gather, homosexuality is primarily about intimacy and love - Mutual fulfillment of emotional needs that are not achieved by members of "the opposite sex" of that person. So polygamy and homosexuality are not even remotely similar.

To be fair, I should rename this thread for polyamory. The point is not that there's
any particular compelling societal reason for such, but rather that if marriage is
disassociated from procreation, as it seems clear will be the case, shouldn't
we loosen it to the extent where loving, multi-partner relations can also be
given the same bonds of security and state sanction?

I dont think it should be illegal. I think multiple marriages for the sake of tax evasion is wrong, but other than that, why should it be illegal? There is supposed to be separation of church and state, so it should have nothing to do with the defenition of marriage as written by the bible. It makes me sick to think about how people are making life decisions for others because the bible says it's wrong, expecially when i have strong beliefs against religion as a whole.

Religion has everything to do with it. ALOT of Americans vote for politians based on their religious beliefs. The politians make the laws to keep these people happy and get more votes.

The words of the first clause of the first amendment are



The words "separation of church and state" were from a letter by Jefferson (who was not present at the Constitutional Convention, he was the Ambassador to France at the time) and quoted by Judge Hugo Black rather famously in a precedent setting Supreme Court decision.

Regardless, the fact that marriage is in the bible does not mean the state cannot regulate it (and this is not an argument either way on that). The Bible says "Thou Shall Not Murder" (or "Kill", depending on your source) but this does not bar the U.S. or state governments from banning homicide, similar with laws regarding theft. To suggest otherwise is to ignore the actual intentions of the Founding Fathers for a single quote taken out of context.

As a general matter, secular states (and explicitly atheist) through history have as a matter of course regulated the practice of marriage.

I'd be scared of diseases! That being said, I think I could live with 2 husbands.

Yeah. If you can trust one person, why not two?

Moreover, since there would be some variety available
anyhow, might it not reduce the chance of cheating?

Many of us have enough trouble with one relationship, why are we worrying about people with two?

It's fine, but I wouldn't be into it. I'd get too jealous.

Many of us are straight, why are we worrying about
gay marriage? I think that this is an issue which is
going to follow. One of the big problems is that it
causes tremendous legal difficulties. But, I was actually
considering something similar (more of a commune actually
without any real sexual aspects - per say) from a very young
age. The point being that a group of people can have strong
bonds - and it would be nice to be able to achieve certain
legal recognitions, so that family does not hold the trump
card on all decisions.

Personally, I've pretty much given up on establishing such
a community - though I briefly got interested again when it
looked like Inventor was working on just such a thing. But,
I'm still committed to my ideal of a bigamous relationship.
I don't give a damn about getting married again, but some
people in such a situation might. Moreover, one of the few
benefits that marriage provides is tax relief for couples where
only one partner works. This too should be extensible in some
manner for polyamorous relationships. Hell, I say ban marriage
altogether.

I don't care. I'm not going to get involved in multiple simultaneous relationships, but I'm not going to stop other people from doing it. It sounds way too complicated for someone like me to handle.