Jelous at not having a girlfriend

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So I am 17 and lately I have been observing my school before summee starts and it seems like everyois having a girlfriend for some odd reason. Even the unattractive kids at my school are in a relationship for some reason and I'm still single. I get really jelous at this because of how lonely I am and how none seems to like me. I get jelous at the fact that all my friends(well kind of) have ither had or are having some kind of relationship with someone and I don't know why I am still single. I am a nice and kind person and I don't do anything wrong but I just don't know why I am still single and lonely. Is this just me who has beeen felling this way?

One thing you have to remember is like anything else; Its value is linked to its quality. Just having a relationship alone means nothing.

take some cold comfort from the fact that you are far from alone. i was similarly socially bereft at your age and continue to be that way over 3 decades later. but you are still very young and have plenty of time for your fortunes to change. when you become a legal adult [if i were you] i'd 1] find a psychological counselor to help you learn proper socialization with other people, and 2]find a professional sex worker [AKA "escort"] to show you the [how to deal in the bedroom with women] and to give you some confidence. i never had those opportunities when i was your age and if i had, i believe my life would have turned out differently than it has [IOW successfully/confidently instead of in abject failure]. confidence, if not everything, counts for an awful lot in life, and those with confidence turn out a lot better than those of us lacking confidence. you get confidence by having some success in life, and the escort will enable you to have a success in at least one area of life which will help you feel more like an equal around your peers and especially around women in general. it is time and money well spent. don't be a loser like me, get help now when you are still young and not set in your ways. just some old-fart advice. good luck.

Used to think the same thing when I was your age. Almost a decade later, still lonely and single, I would tell my old self "Be careful what you wish for." I went with the previous poster's option 2 rather extensively (which I am not really too proud of), and I did gain confidence, though I skipped a lot of important parts (i.e. opening and introduction, small talk, demonstrating value, creating attraction, creating an emotional connection, closing, transitions, etc.) and I still couldn't talk to a woman who is not financially-procured to save my life. Kind of came close on accident, and I realized then that I couldn't stand people. They smother me when they want to talk every day, even if there's nothing to talk about. They get needy and jealous for no logical reason at all. They want to touch you and talk to you all the time when all you want is to be alone. It's frustrating.

What I would do if I were in your position is I would work on my social skills via those so-called "Pickup Artist communities" so I could acquire the abilities early in life, and do what I want with them later. If you really want chicks around you, you will have to work on it. That's what I think.

to the OP: becoming a PUA is not something one should write home about. it is undignified, and a karmic misuse of one's intelligence in order to cynically use other human beings to one's own self-agrandizing ends. put the shoe on the other foot for a moment- how would you like it if you were the attractive girl with men manipulating your mind just to get into your pants and have you as their cheap arm ornament? just my 2-cents' worth.

Have you ever asked a girl out?

I've never had a girlfriend either.

The difference between me at age 17 and me now at age 25,
is that I've learned to stop feeling jealous of my peers for having love,
... even tho it's something I want, try for, and can't have,
and even tho the system is hostile to both logic and honesty,
and even tho I've tried harder than all my friends combined, diligently practicing skills from poetry to freestyle dancing to caricatured portraiture, all in vain,
and even tho they've seduced all the single women I've ever become friends with,
and even tho they obtained this love thru degrading derogatory flirtation, underhanded deception, and copious expenditures in cash,
and even tho after all this they question my sexuality, then treat me like an incompetent ret*d.

On second th*t, I take it back: I am still jealous.
The jealousy never goes away.

Have fun with your life.

Last edited by Fatal-Noogie on 08 Aug 2011, 4:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

I feel this way too. Except I don't even try, at all, to talk to girls, because I am scared and no one will teach me how to do it. Please someone help me.

PUA's dont manipulate peoples mind as the girl CHOOSES to go home with them they do not drag her down the street, these people are very smart this is something anyone can have including THOSE with aspergers i live with 10 PUA's i have aspergers bielieve me it isnt about going upto a girl and manipulating her mind i know as i study hard. theres loads of stuff regarding this subject ie: body language, how to talk to people, how to deal with fear and beat it, being radically honest (not easy there is more to it than you think), how to set up and run a successful business, how to be very successful in life, dealing with emotional issues, fitness regimes, how to attract women, seduction, it goes into heavy detail . All this builds you as a person yes we start behind in life but their is nothing we cant quickly get ahead of others in including (finding a girlfriend, having fun in life, making solid friends, get married, being highly successful workwise) but there is something which is required - that is detirmination to succeed and to keep trying harder and harder and building yourself as a person.
One of the PUA's i live with is very very likely to have aspergers he hasnt been diagnosed but all our housemates bielive he has it he brings home women all the time and keeps them.

the meaning of this is just because you have aspergers does not mean you cant be successful aspergers can and will be conquered if you put your mind to it and put the effort in and the results last for life once you obtain them they are yours forever.

if you want to succeed in life and move forward constantly feel free to inbox me i happily give you somewhere to start which will take you on the journey to success as i will happily help others get there as i work my way towards it.

Women aren't stupid. If they are dumb enough to have their emotions be manipulated by words, maybe they shouldn't leave the house without adult supervision. If they throw away their morals because of a little sweet-talk, maybe they don't have any solid morals to begin with. Becoming a PUA is not about magic and hypnosis and trickery. It's about the study of social skills and attraction, and how it works. You learn how to be able to show what you can offer to women, instead of being like us, who may or may not have much to offer, but it won't matter since we can't get to the phase where they will see it in the first place. It's like attempting to win a race by systematically training for it. Nothing underhanded about that, other people just don't train properly for it, giving you a totally fair advantage. It becomes your responsibility though to use this ability responsibly. Technically, going to bars and meeting intoxicated women, or going to weddings and meeting lovesick women would be more underhanded than actually learning how to attract them.

And on the flipside, you don't call a woman undignified when she goes to the dermatologist and the salon, and buys clothes and makeup to make herself more attractive to men. We are actually being manipulated right before our eyes. A pretty girl can make you do whatever she wants because deep down inside there is this voice telling you that it increases your chances with her. And it doesn't even matter if she's married with kids. Kind of a double standard, don't you think?

it might as well be magic to those who lack T.O.M. AFAIC, women might as well be from another planet, as would be the men they go for.
teaching some aspergians the fundamentals of T.O.M. is akin to teaching music to a tone-deaf person.



your anger is misplaced- i did not call YOU undignified, rather the practice of manipulating other sentient beings to one's own ends, which is unsavory. it doesn't matter which gender does it, it all stinks to heaven. and a woman's only power over me is her body's ability to excite my little head [at least when i was young and priapic], that is all the power they ever had over me. make-up always has been a BIG turnoff for me, as is most feminine fashion. i can tell you are very masculine compared to me.

And sleeping with a prostitute is healthy, dignified, and something he SHOULD write home about? Sorry, but I sense a great discord here.

You are not alone. For years I didn't know what was happening...why I was single and lonely. I was diagnosed later in my life with AS...after that..everything started to make sense, and it gave me a sense of hope because now I knew what I had to work on.

You have the advantage of having this awareness of AS at a young age. Use that knowledge. Seek out the professional help, as I did albeit later, and things will improve.

waking, not sleeping.
having sex with an escort at least will be educational, in that he would have a bit more practical knowledge about how to sexually function with a woman, and might be able to avoid fumbling around in the dark. paying a sex worker is straightforward, whereas PUAs are cynical with ulterior motives. not my cup of tea. you are welcome to it, though, more power to you.

I'm 23 and have never had a girlfriend. It's just... never happened for me. One has to carry on though.

yes, one has little choice but to carry on.