women have it harder(coming from a male)

Post Reply New Topic

Not everyone belives no one is entitled to anything...now obviously everyone is not entitled to have an intimate relationship but according to psychology having at least some sort of support from friends or family is actually a fairly basic need.

It might be a need, but everyone has the right to not want to give it to you. That's what I mean everyone out for their own. You should never feel entitled for a specific feeling of affection from a specific person if they can think for themselves.

It doesn't mean they're always right, as far as family is concerned I would blame the family for not providing this.. but it ends there. "Friends" are much less expected to do anything. Let alone strangers.

That sounds really awful, Zinnel! You must be an awesome friend!

Money wont solve your problems.
Just so you have an idea 10 years ago I could ask for any item of clothing I wanted and my parents bought it(they spend a lot of time working so they felt bad or something) and I could ask them for money whenever I wanted. Did that make me a catch?, no it didnt, I was a spoiled brat that looked down on just about everyone that wasnt able to afford this things and I ended up in the guidance counselor´s office several times a year for having issues with most of my classmates.

6 Years ago a lovely girl ended up being my partner for some sort of homework and she made an attempt to help me loose the attitude, sure at the beginning I refused(why would I want to interact with any of my class mates if it was unlikely I´d ever have to interact with them at a golf course?)but eventually I agreed on doing some changes(trying to be more open to interact with others,try to develop a personality that wasnt based on a superiority complex...)just to shut her up and to prove she was wrong.

You know what happened?. I didnt notice any change from my perspective but apparently others did. On a break I was listening to some rap music and one of my bullies overheard it and decided that I shouldnt be listening to it so they forced me to go talk to another bully with them. I was scared because Ive had awfull experiences with both of them but the other guy was pretty cool and he just told him that if I hadnt done anything to him he had no reason to bully me.

From that moment Ive been trying to be nice to everyone and open to interaction while making sure I avoid showing any sign of superiority complex.
I cant say that this has solved my life but now Im able to talk to girls without having them laughing at me/running away from me as soon as they notice Im about to aproach them and the amount of trouble Ive had interacting with others has reduced a lot.


So even though a suggestion to change your attitude can be a shaming tactic there are times when its honest advice(a little harsh perhaps but honest)and it seems to me that hale_bopp and other members that pointed it out before may be right about you needing a change of attitude.

Where did this idea that money is the only reason you don't have success with women come from?

My guess is that guys who think this must think they have everything except money, so that must be the problem.

It's not - money doesn't mean sh*t, except for attracting gold-diggers - and being with a gold-digger is MUCH worse than being alone, trust me...

But those gold-diggers are also women, that's where this idea comes from.

People should listen to Grisha. He has money.

It's just another thing to blame which they think is out of their control.
If they had money but didn't have hair, they'd say women don't date them because they're bald etc.

you've never met a male gold-digger, i guess. they do exist and have always existed. both male and female gold-diggers (aka freeloaders) are more likely to be sociopaths.

i do think that men*** who believe women are all gold-diggers will have significant dificulty ever finding a suitable mate because firstly if/when he is poor he thinks he has nothing to offer and is quite jaded about women, which reduces his chances of ever getting a mate. if he does find someone he may also unfairly blame relationship issues on his lack of money. basically, his low self-esteem and low regard for women destroys the possibilities.

...and secondly if/when he is rich he is suspicious of every woman's motives and will never really trust a relationship is real. he can become paranoid that all women want is his money, which prevents him from getting truly close to any females. any relationship he forms will have a heavy layer of mistrust and he may be constantly searching for evidence to prove what a gold-digger she really must be so that he can reinforce the negative things he believes about himself and about women.

***although i used the male gender as an example, the same goes for women.

I don't think that's how it works. I don't have any delusion or sense of entitlement (if anything, i feel "entitled" only to the worthlessness I have now), and yet people say I am bitter, jaded, and angry...

who said that? it must have been in real life because it hasn't happened on this site ever.

Mostly people I talk to off-site... they say I'm jaded over seeing everyone around me in a happy relationship while I'm the only one left alone. And I have to admit that at times I do feel anger... mostly towards myself for being the sack of s**t I am...

Yes a lot of people have made that very clear...that is why I pretty much just had to take the horrible treatment I got from other students and teachers at school because they had the right to cut you off from positive social interaction penalty free so they can put you in a little box labeled 'The Doomed'

Of course you should not expect someone who is not intrested in a relationship with somone to just go with it so they don't hurt that persons feelings....ideally everyone should have the right to do whatever they want I guess, but if a community for instance decides to single out one individual to deny them any sort of human support something is a bit off.

There is probably some truth in this statement. Your body can sometimes betray your words, and people can probably feel that energy coming from you, even if you don't even notice this energy building up within you. The mind plays dirty tricks on you if you don't keep the reigns on it.

You have to forgive yourself, whatever it is you are angry at yourself for, forgive, and then you can start to feel happier and go about changing your life. It really can be done. Treat yourself well, my friend.

This.

Last time I saw my therapist she asked if I was still talking to the other people with asperger's on the computer. I said not as much because I don't like seeing people being bullied by other people. The same as every other message board I've ever been on in my life (for different interests, work, etc). It's funny how we are so different & yet the same.

The biggest differences that you'll see between us and NT's is that they can't read our body language and our immediate here & now instincts are different. Aside from that it seems like we're barely any different.