Throwing in the towel.

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This jumped out at me because I drew a similar conclusion about getting a cat recently, although a lot of it had to do with not being sure if I might be moving again in the future and not wanting the hassle of having to find a new landlord who would take animals. But, really, when it comes down to it, it was the commitment that comes along with caring for something else and possible having that cramp my style a bit that was the main deal-breaker. So, I'm definitely not close to being ready to live with another person!

The thing is, though, that I'm not sure these types of things are static. And, what is not right or possible for us at the present might be doable at a point later down the road. I see things all the time that leave me feeling surprised by people's capacity for change and growth.

Yeah, I get that. Was just kidding around with you. No biggie.



Something to kind of dovetail a little with this idea. There's a group I belong to on LinkedIn that is supposed to link Aspies who are successful in their chosen career paths with others on the spectrum to provide mentoring, but it doesn't have many members and is not active. What if we start our own WP LinkedIn Group to discuss career stuff through an Aspie lens?

Grisha (and others), I think you have a lot to offer our community and being able to share your talents and experience for the greater good could be very fulfilling and give you something else to shift your energy towards while you take an extended hiatus (or whatever you'd want to call it) from dating.

Yep, and I don't really care about a relationship anymore as I am happy to be single.

It's just that damn Independence. :\

I have not tried, but I think like you. I am never interested in anything for too long. In fact, I do not remember ever being interested in any person at all: even when I have friends, I do not make any effort to keep the friendship. It seems too pointless.

Add to that the fact that everything bores me after some time and you have reason enough to understand why I should never try to approach people. I function better as a loner, as long as I can find something to entertain me (easier said than done ).

I'm starting to think the same about me. Not only am I oblivious, I'm too damned apathetic.

dont give up hope grisha!

what are the things that are holding you back? how about, instead, you figure these things out, then work on them!

The things that seem to be holding be back seem to be the way I am perceived by others vs my actual inner state, and my utter inability to sense how my actions make others feel.

Recently, I've met everyone that I've dated online - and there seems to be a vast difference between my online persona and my "real life" persona. This is not deliberate, and there is no actual difference - I am the same person in both places, but for some reason none of my online relationships survive the transition.

This happens the exact same way time and time again, I can't explain it away by saying it was just the people I met.

I have absolutely no idea how to fix it, and quite honestly, I really don't believe it's possible at this point - it's just too fundamental to who I am.

Being single is not the horrible fate that everyone seems to think it is, it's just quite an adjustment to make when you understand that it's going to be a permanent reality for you when you've spent your whole life imagining otherwise...

Who wants the picture of me in the towel?

And hilarity ensues...lol, Boo.

That would be hot.... though you might need to charge $$ to show it.

Nat, that's just a trailer for the big show.

and this one just costs a pm. ;p

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Feb 2012, 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

in a word,, Yes

and yes I've always viewed myself in a relationship but not a bad one, never again.

To me, truly giving up is not caring and by not caring, you wouldn't be bothered by it with the need to post about it.
If you are generally feeling this way, then why not go and enjoy life with some form of company around you.
Don't give up on friendship as well, look around yourself. There are plenty of people here who are not just see you as a friend but you are an idol to a few of them. Trust me, I know.

Deja vu?

i think you can work on this!

have you tried using a mirror to figure out how to move your face so you are less awkward / non-expressive? i try to work on that some every day. i think it kinda helps a little bit. people used to think i was always in a bad mood i think, when really i was apathetic, or in a normal mood. they tended to fear me, i guess, because they thought i was thinking negatively maybe? anyways, i worked on it, and now i think im getting to be better at this. as many of you well know, developing our 'NT Mask' is paramount of importance if you seek normalcy. some people are ok with being socially awkward, and more power to them! not me, however.. i really want to fit in, and be as normal as possible. i think i'll be better off if i work on my social awkwardness so when im in these situations everything feels more at ease. i think working on this betters my chances of finding a girl that i like, who likes me too, so im all for that as well

also, how is your voice? are you monotone or can you accentuate your speech with fluxes in pitch, etc. to stay engaging? i have observed that its almost like the WAY you say things is more important than the MESSAGE. if you have a mediocre message, and excellent delivery, it seems to work better than if you have a superb message, but monotone delivery.

and have you thought about what parts of your online self you seem to be projecting, but it doesnt quite line up with who you are offline? if you can figure out what it is that people think you are (when in real life you arent), you can maybe alter your online self a bit, or your offline self a bit and stay more parallel with your 'other self'. this might work well too.

Yes. I'm not functional enough to maintain a normal level of social contact with other people, much less living in a relationship. Online relationships worked for me for a while, both as friendships and romantic relationships, but I can't maintain those either.

A former friend told me that I'm probably more compatible with cats than with human beings, and it turned out that she was right. I've decided to spend the rest of my life as the male equivalent of a crazy old cat lady (hence my forum name ). I wish I could afford a larger place and 20 or 30 cats.