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Getting the right mindset : The First step

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Space
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17 Mar 2012, 1:19 pm

good post. Fear is a killer!



MXH
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17 Mar 2012, 1:27 pm

Thom_Fuleri wrote:
MXH wrote:
Thom_Fuleri wrote:
You could be a great guy if you let yourself. So could MXH, I'm pretty sure, though I've less to go on there. But all the loving kindness in the world isn't going to change you.


So now you're covertly claiming that im a terrible guy? Really dude, you're not helping your cause by being a dick to those you try to "help" by saying what they've heard, tried and failed at before.


I don't think you're a terrible guy. I just know Toady a little better through these boards than you, that's all. But I do get the impression that Toady feels he's a failure in himself and that you're angry at everyone else. It's much easier to assume everything is someone else's fault and deny responsibility, but then nothing ever changes.


And if you had ever paid attention to any of my posts I am all about the self hate. So next time read up before talking crap about someone.



Space
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17 Mar 2012, 1:40 pm

I think a lot of people here (including myself) could benefit from some kind of brain-reprogramming or rewiring for lack of a better term.

A lot of the fear and self-loathing I've experienced and seen expressed borders on the pathological. An AS person needs to find positive people in the real world (off the internet) that will encourage them and be a positive influence so that their lives can improve. It's easy to read an article about fear, feel better for a moment, then regress back to how you felt initially in a short period of time. It's a long process to change, and I think a lack of family/social supports that encourage the AS person to change and overcome their problems is a larger barrier. The fear and feelings of desperation are symptoms of this great problem I believe.



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17 Mar 2012, 2:24 pm

Space wrote:
I think a lot of people here (including myself) could benefit from some kind of brain-reprogramming or rewiring for lack of a better term.

A lot of the fear and self-loathing I've experienced and seen expressed borders on the pathological. An AS person needs to find positive people in the real world (off the internet) that will encourage them and be a positive influence so that their lives can improve. It's easy to read an article about fear, feel better for a moment, then regress back to how you felt initially in a short period of time. It's a long process to change, and I think a lack of family/social supports that encourage the AS person to change and overcome their problems is a larger barrier. The fear and feelings of desperation are symptoms of this great problem I believe.

your so right, this is what i find completely.

I read a good 'self help' book and feel great, then I talk to my mum and feel like a piece of crap again. My family is really really critical and Ive not been able to find a friend who likes me. All the people i meet criticize me and dont like me or dont accept me as I am. This makes it very hard to like myself or feel good as its like fighting against a tide trying to wash me out to sea.

Im thinking about seeing a NLP hypnotherapist who has opened near me to 'rewire' my thinking and make me feel better about who I am.

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.



machf
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17 Mar 2012, 3:11 pm

The-Raven wrote:
What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.

Hmmm... that's not a bad idea. Some time ago, I read someone started a "rent-a-girlfriend" company, for a certain amount, you'd get someone to pose on Facebook as your g/f for some time. Maybe someone should start a similar business...



AScomposer13413
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17 Mar 2012, 4:48 pm

machf wrote:
The-Raven wrote:
What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.

Hmmm... that's not a bad idea. Some time ago, I read someone started a "rent-a-girlfriend" company, for a certain amount, you'd get someone to pose on Facebook as your g/f for some time. Maybe someone should start a similar business...


There's a business for that sort of thing??? O_O



hyperlexian
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17 Mar 2012, 5:04 pm

i don't really get how a person would be more confident if they had to pay someone to pose as a girlfriend.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2012, 5:11 pm

The-Raven wrote:

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.


You can rent me, send me a pm.



The-Raven
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17 Mar 2012, 5:14 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.


You can rent me, send me a pm.

wow, you mean you can be nice if people pay you 8O



:lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2012, 5:16 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i don't really get how a person would be more confident if they had to pay someone to pose as a girlfriend.


Well, here's a funny thing I've noticed.

There was that girl in the gym who was so stuck up that she wouldn't hi me back even if she bumps into me. i had her twin sister as friend on my fb (and she's way nicer) whom she always talked to me casually without any complication (online and in real) , of course i didn't try to add the mean twin and didn't want to.

But in the same day i posted a photo of me with my two female friends, she sent me a friend request O_O. I was like "Whoa? What? that one never even said a hi to me"



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Mar 2012, 5:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2012, 5:17 pm

The-Raven wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.


You can rent me, send me a pm.

wow, you mean you can be nice if people pay you 8O



:lol:


I offer a long free trial period. Your choice.



The-Raven
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17 Mar 2012, 5:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.


You can rent me, send me a pm.

wow, you mean you can be nice if people pay you 8O



:lol:


I offer a long free trial period. Your choice.

lol will you send me an upgrade warning when it runs out.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2012, 5:28 pm

The-Raven wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The-Raven wrote:

What i really need is a positive nice friend who will say nice things to me, I wish they could be rented.


You can rent me, send me a pm.

wow, you mean you can be nice if people pay you 8O



:lol:


I offer a long free trial period. Your choice.

lol will you send me an upgrade warning when it runs out.


Most probably, my upgrade warnings come in unpredictable atypical ways tho.



Zinnel
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17 Mar 2012, 5:29 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't really get how a person would be more confident if they had to pay someone to pose as a girlfriend.


Well, here's a funny thing I've noticed.

There was that girl in the gym who was so stuck up that she wouldn't hi me back even if she bumps into me. i had her twin sister as friend on my fb (and she's way nicer) whom she always talked to me casually without any complication (online and in real) , of course i didn't try to add the mean twin and didn't want to.

But in the same day i posted a photo of me with my two female friends, she sent me a friend request O_O. I was like "Whoa? What? that one never even said a hi to me"


It has to do with one of the most annoying types of judgements I think that humans make about others
Basicly It the "If others like/want (insert name), then I will like/want (insert name) too".
It a type thought process that alot of people fall into sometimes, and honestly I tend to avoid people who use that sort of thinking. Because they tended to just read the book by its cover instead of taking the time to read the pages, and thats not cool with me even if they liked cover in the first place.


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17 Mar 2012, 6:18 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't really get how a person would be more confident if they had to pay someone to pose as a girlfriend.


Well, here's a funny thing I've noticed.

There was that girl in the gym who was so stuck up that she wouldn't hi me back even if she bumps into me. i had her twin sister as friend on my fb (and she's way nicer) whom she always talked to me casually without any complication (online and in real) , of course i didn't try to add the mean twin and didn't want to.

But in the same day i posted a photo of me with my two female friends, she sent me a friend request O_O. I was like "Whoa? What? that one never even said a hi to me"

that wasn't what i said. i am sure that having hot people pose with you would give people the idea you are hot stuff. but it wouldn't change your confidence levels inside yourself because you would know you are a fraud.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2012, 6:24 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't really get how a person would be more confident if they had to pay someone to pose as a girlfriend.


Well, here's a funny thing I've noticed.

There was that girl in the gym who was so stuck up that she wouldn't hi me back even if she bumps into me. i had her twin sister as friend on my fb (and she's way nicer) whom she always talked to me casually without any complication (online and in real) , of course i didn't try to add the mean twin and didn't want to.

But in the same day i posted a photo of me with my two female friends, she sent me a friend request O_O. I was like "Whoa? What? that one never even said a hi to me"

that wasn't what i said. i am sure that having hot people pose with you would give people the idea you are hot stuff. but it wouldn't change your confidence levels inside yourself because you would know you are a fraud.


I agree with that but maybe the attention would boost their confidence a little but their goal wouldn't be really just boosting it.