Why does it feel so bad?

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I have a bit of a story to tell, and I hope some of you guys can give me some advise. For as long as I can remember, I was always scared of girls. Even up to the beginning of High School, I avoided women at all cost. Since my father died back in 2008, I told myself I wanted to be more like the man he was, so I began to force myself into social situations with girls. At first it was agonizing, but after some time passed, I was able to talk face to face with a girl without turning red or walking away. I have even had crushes since then, and I believe that I am a better person overall. But lately I have been in a deep depression. In the last year or so, I matured enough to look for a girlfriend. I have a younger brother, and I see what some boys and girls today are like; I don't want a one night stand or a sex buddy. I want to meet a girl I can fall in love with, and maybe marry in the future. But no matter how hard I try, no one is ever interested in me. It is made even worse considering I see my brother come home every other week with a new girlfriend. Are there any girls out there who are looking for an emotional relationship instead of a physical one?

Hey BigBrett,

Of course there will be girls out there who will be looking for an emotional relationship! It all depends on where you look. For instance, I don't think parties are a good place because the people that go there could be there just to get drunk and may not be looking for an emotional relationship. I recommend taking up a hobby that involves groups of people. That way, you can meet new people and enjoy what you're doing at the same time. If you attend college, there could be an enrichment activity that you can attend there too. Also, on the subject of college. If you do go to college, there may be some girls in your class that you could get to know that may share the same interests as you do. There are also online dating sites that you could try, but I am not sure how well these sites work because I have never used them before. What about playing an MMO and meeting people through there that may be around your area? If you are interested in gaming that is . Well, I hope this reply was helpful to you and that you find someone who is genuinely interested in you

Wow...I had the same problem as you BigBrett with trying to get into social situations with girls....

I certainly know how you feel. I use to be all upset about never being able to find a girlfriend because I felt like I was an unwanted freak. However for me, what makes it easier is not trying to find a girlfriend but instead focus on finding more friends. Many people I know find their girlfriends to be people they were friends with for years(one or both were dating someone else at the time they meet). I have gained some opposite sex friends over the past few years where I had none in high school. Most of them are dating other people but it's not like it's set in stone. I think for most people with aspergers, we certainly are not built for one night stands and blind dates. We need to get to know and trust people and become friends with them first. If an opportunity presents itself where one of my female friends is no longer in a relationship, I certainly will waste no time in trying to see if my opportunity will come. It's a slow process but it's a much easier process. I know the fear of friend-zone can fall into place but it's a risk I am willing to take. I'd rather be friend zoned than have no friends at all. I feel like for some of my friends, I'm on a waiting list to date them. I may not be able to date them right now (or possibly ever) but I have found some friends who actually care for me very much and that certainly is better than being alone.