moving on/getting house advice

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Hi guys. I'm new on here, I think I may have AS, it explains a lot of things and why I get certain ways. Anyway, my girlfriend is looking into/getting a house. I told her I wasn’t ready yet, but she's the one putting it in her name and putting the down payment, I would just give her monthly payments, and other help when I can (since I'm using most of my money on school loans). So anyway, I've been pretty stressed about the prospect of just committing to the house, area, job, etc. Even though I could get a diff job if I wanted to since this area has a lot of areas nearby. But anyway, I haven't been consistently happy living with her and her sister, who also lives with us in our apartment now. Also we're kinda up and down, especially when stuff comes up like this, but it may be due mainly to me.
I just have a few concerns:
What I really like doing is working on my music stuff, and doing other stuff on my own. I've been kinda fitting it in more, but so often I just feel like Id like to be alone and not have to worry about all this stuff. Lately I’ve just been really wanting to focus ont hat more, and I like recording stuff, but I don’t have time very often for that since it’s so solitary. Unless her sisters around, then she can hang out with her like all night while I do it.

I know I'll have to help her with stuff with the house money wise, and for awhile I've just been looking forward to getting myself some stuff for my music or whatever, since I haven't hardly bought myself anything. But I think I can still do that with this new situation.

I just am so on and off, she also wants to get a dog eventually, and so does her sister, but we really want her sister to get independent and eventually move on her own, she's been so attached to my g/f for so long. That's annoying too, but when they hang out I can go off and do my own stuff then. They already have 3 cats, and a bunch of hamsters, and the idea of getting a dog right now isn't appealing to me. I only like certain dogs, and a noisy barking dog would really bother me. And her sister getting a little dog too, I think is too much.

I do like the idea of having your own place, that’s quiet, without annoying neighbors like in apartments. But I don’t really want to commit to fixing a place up, dealing with maintenance and stuff yet, but it is something I wanna do at some point.

We've almost broke up a few times due to the house stuff, but bc I thought it was all sudden and happening so fast. She does love me, but does say I’m selfish, not good at comforting her, etc. Also she talks a lot, and I don’t as much. But I do love her, she can be very caring, sweet, and considerate. We do joke around and have fun, but not as often as we should. But it feels like maybe its my fault bc I'm too in my own head. We do a lot together, although for awhile now we have been seeming different. Like she never wants to go out on the weekends, and I at least like to get out to go out, something like that.

Has anyone else had anything like this, where you love the person, but you aren't sure about next steps?

Sounds like she is pressuring you into making a commitment you are not ready for and it seems like you need to express that to her clearly and assertively so that she knows what steps you are looking to take. The next thing you know, she will be asking for a baby and you need to decide if that is what you really want. A family isn't for Christmas, a family is for life so you need to be very responsible in making that choice. As for getting a house together, I think it's important that you work on your issues and try to make living together a compatible and mutual experience.

Yeah, I mean she's been wanting a house for awhile. She thinks I'm holding her back if she keeps waiting for me to get ready. I mean, I understand what shes saying. And yes she is willing to work with me so I don't have a lot of responsibility for the house, but she will. But his makes me feel kinda stupid, like I'm just mooching off her. It's like I'm saying, I'm not ready for this yet. And she's saying, ok I'll take care of it, but she's still doing it. I wouldn't mind us renting a house first since we hate neighbors, but idk. I honestly dont have much to stress about, because I'm not technically responsible, but I'm always confused as to what to act like towards the issue. She always asks for my opinion and what I think, but she's the one doing this, and if people act opinionated about a certain house, she takes their opinion, but neglects what she thinks, so its better to just not give her too much of a opinion. It's confusing.

A big thing is that I always get annoyed by her sister being around, and she doesn't do anything anymore to deserve my annoyance, its just that shes there. It's not fair, but I've always felt like I clashed with her. It's like when you meet someone and for some reason you just don't click with them. Her sister does get bossy with us about cleaning up our apartment, and is crazy about the animals, but that's all lately. And the cleaning thing doesn't happen much either anymore. Although her sister has seemed depressed fora while now, and I think it's because I'm not super friendly with them both when she's around.

I could do the assertive thing and state my opinion (I'm not feeling ready), but I already have. And since she's doing the signing, downpayment all that, she's still going through with it, so if I really am not willing to move into a house, I mean I would just have to be single.

Just wanted to add something else here, since I have nowhere to vent. Her sister talks to her mom on the phone on and off all day when she's off, or before going into work in the afternoon. I work at home, so its annoying, although its not that loud. I put bg noise on my computer on. Sometimes it still cuts through because she has her on speakerphone for whatever reason. She'll watch tv, and just be blabbing on the phone to her mom. I have no idea what they must be talking about. She complains about her job a lot too, but does nothing about finding another one. She works front desk at a hotel. She never looks for a different/higher paying job, but whenever my girlfriend, talks about her job or complains at all, she says 'must be nice. I make hardly anything and have a shity job." Man, it just bugs me. Anyway, i usually ignore her but it still bothers me.

She leaves her room door open always too, so the cats can go in and out. That way I can always tell when shes on the phone or not. If we live together in that house, ill have a private room to work in, but im guessing ill still be able to hear her walking around and on the phone. Honestly, I'm just not that happy in this living situation, but I feel like I shouldn't be. I love being alone in here. I just didn't know I'd feel this way back when we decided to live together.