My online dating site dilemma.

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I'm a member of Plenty of Fish. I've been using it for awhile now. I've met two guys in the past off that website and one turned into a relationship, the other more of a friends with benefits kind of thing. So, the deal to myself was that I wasn't going to actively pursue anyone for the time being because I don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship right now or not. With that being said I still allow myself to check if I get any e-mails on POF.

In the past I didn't mind approaching guys to talk to them on the website. I also had a good job back then and a bit more confidence. Lately I'm been very shy. I'm extremely picky about my guys. Lately I've had a couple of really good looking guys with personalities that make my heart jump when I read their profile who messaged me.

This is what I'm scared of, I don't think of myself as an attractive girl so I'm wondering why these guys are going for me. I'll admit I think I wrote a really good profile but I'm just so scared. I'm not officially diagnosed with AS but I'm certain I have it and I'm afraid that I'm going to screw up these potential relationships if I meet these guys with my quirks. I'm dreading that the meet ups will turn out really awkward and when they see me up close and in person they'll be regretting they even wanted to talk to me. Sometimes I think I'm too crazy to be with anybody. I have 7 pictures on my profile but I'll probably look different to him up close.

I really want to talk to this guy who messaged me but I'm so scared I'll screw up. Honestly, I know looks aren't everything but he's so good looking I'm afraid I'll be intimidated by his good looks and close myself off. I know I need to boost my confidence because guys don't like girls with no confidence. Sorry, I'm just freaking out. I'm just scared I'll screw everything up. I'm sorry if I sound shallow. Has anybody been in a similar situation or can relate to any of this?

nothing boosts confidence like experience. meet with someone you're interested in and don't say anything negative about yourself while you're with them. sounds like you're pretty hard on yourself. give yourself a chance.

Thanks so much guys. It means a lot. I'm going to message him back and going to try and stop being a downer on myself.

Yup, better to just go on and do it than regret what could have happened.

Aand... about your image issues, does spe ding time in yourself help? Because when I'm feeling lie not in the mood to socializing in the mornings I put on my best clothes, wash my face thoroughly, spend extra time in my hair and put on my best perfume, and I leave the house feeling like a boss Maybe doing that before meeting him would help? (to the extent it doesn't make you look like too tryhard of course)

Okay, so he gave me his phone number and told me to text him sometime. He said he has a feeling we could have some awesome conversations. I in reply, gave him my cell number.

I don't know what to do now. Should I wait until he texts me or should I text him first? Also, I find texting a bit more awkward, I think it would probably be easier having conversations over POF rather than texting but I don't want to be rude by saying that. I'm not ready to talk to him over the phone yet either because I just met him this week.

He works nights. Should I wait or should I text him and if so when should I do it?

Good to see it is progressing. How long have you two been messaging each other already?

And for better or for worse, my advice will come from the point of view of a man. It may be insightful in some ways, but I'd also love to hear what a woman has to say about.
I believe texting him would be a good idea. You start messaging each other, then up the commitment with texting, when that's comfortable you call each other and in the end you meet for a date. What the man usually does in these cases is to make the woman interested and comfortable enough to up her commitment, you appear to be interested but not quite comfortable? I know tose things are awkward, I still remember those times when my heart raced whenever I had to call my would-be girlfriend, and when I triple checked every text I sent, and when I obsessively checked myself in front of the mirror, all I can say is that you'll get used to it, and as you know him better as another human with flaws as we all have instead of the handsome face and the carefully chosen words in his profile and messages, you'll be more at ease. If it is really daunting, you can always begin with a small message, and hope he takes it from then on.

Hopefully later in the relationship you won't feel as nervous around him, as you get to know him better and stuff. If the relationship goes for long enough, he's bound to see your morning hair anyway, and from the point you are right now to that one there will be a progression of feeling less and less awkward, as you see that he likes you for what you are. And if he doesn't at that stage, then, you probably shouldn't be with him anyway~

Huh... when I'm talking with someone, gender aside, I use the length of their answers and the times they ask something in return as a measure of their interest in me. If they give me short answers and no more, I assume they are not interested in the conversation. But what you say is true, if he messaged you first and gave you his phone first, he should be interested, so... . And from what you know about him, are you still feeling interested? Because a meeting in person will certainly give you a better idea of who he is. And I must repeat it... I don't know how is the case with you, but I find it extremely hard to keep a conversation going when they give short answers and no questions, and while in texting you can just stop and be fine, this is how awkward silences are created in real time conversation. So if you have one of those, keep that in mind, regardless of his interest on you or lack thereof.


And that says nothing about your intelligence. Those three days you guys have been messaging and texting shouldn't be enough to measure his. Cheer up .

A one word answer from a girl is pretty much guaranteed she's not interested, but it can be different for a guy.

How long have you been texting? The two girls I've met off POF, it was about 4 days from contact to meeting.

Checking in here

How did it go? Did you two by any chance went on a very awkward dinner date where you two concentrated on your food, or that's just me trying to find connections where they aren't