Aspie Girls, would this scare you?

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knowbody15
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20 Sep 2012, 4:07 pm

Lets say me and you were working together, and we've totally developed a repoir. There is a cool connection between us, I flirt with you in my weird way, and make you laugh, and you tell me that I lower you inhibitions on your social filter, in other words, I make you comfortable, and your jokes are a little more low brow with me than with other co-workers....

We work well together, but either of us can get side tracked talking with each other. Over the weeks, there's more comfort, and we talk about regular stuff, it's not all joking, there's a comfort developing, we have a shared interest that we talk about, although I'm vigilant to not steamroll her, keep the conversations mutually flowing....

The other night, we're in a social situation with other coworkers, and whenever someone says something odd or lowbrow, we look at each other and giggle.....

You don't know this, but I'm constantly wondering what it means, "is she just being nice?" "Am I friendzoned here?"

WOULD THIS SCARE YOU if I said this -----> I'm pretty sure I have a giant crush on you.... (or something along those lines.......)

Thanks for the read:) This girl is the bees knees


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conundrum
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20 Sep 2012, 4:15 pm

Nope. I would be incredibly flattered. :)


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singularity
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20 Sep 2012, 4:45 pm

I had a guy say that to me once....it was really nice!



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20 Sep 2012, 5:00 pm

I would either be flattered, if I liked you back, or I would be upset, if I thought we were best friends. I used to get upset when my guy friends asked me out, because then I thought our friendship meant nothing to them for some reason... I wouldn't be scared though!



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20 Sep 2012, 5:17 pm

Not in the slightest. Even if I didn't feel the same way, I would think it was really sweet. :-)



knowbody15
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20 Sep 2012, 5:18 pm

Morningstar wrote:
I would either be flattered, if I liked you back, or I would be upset, if I thought we were best friends. I used to get upset when my guy friends asked me out, because then I thought our friendship meant nothing to them for some reason... I wouldn't be scared though!


Thats what I'm afraid of I guess....if she's lowered her barriers because she feels like we're becoming friends (We've only known each other for a few months) I dont want to betray that. I can't read her and tell if she's being close with me because she likes me, or if she feels friendly with me.... maybe she just wants to be one of the guys....she's knd of the tomboy type....

I'm sure she'd be flattered though, in the sense that's she a cool chick, and she seems cool enough that if she wasn't into me in that way, it wouldn't make things weird..... I hate this s**t lol


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Kjas
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20 Sep 2012, 5:54 pm

I'd be careful about the timing and consequent intensity of it relative to the circumstances.

If you've known her for 3 months then saying "I kind of like you." is probably appropriate.
If you've known her for 6 months then saying "I have a giant crush on you." is probably appropriate.

What is probably inappropriate: If you've known her for 3 months and then saying "I have a giant crush on you." (timing / intensity problem there)
The above would make me go 8O
But the other two I would be able to deal with.


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Shebakoby
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20 Sep 2012, 6:32 pm

I have not a single clue. Nothing like that has ever happened with me. I've never been close enough to a guy to even think about it. There are no men in my "friend zone"--my "friend zone" does not even exist.



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20 Sep 2012, 7:24 pm

I've had a friend do that to me. A few. But the thing was there were no mutual feelings. But if you're sure there's mutual feelings, then let at it.



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20 Sep 2012, 8:10 pm

Absolutely not - it wouldn't scare me at all! I've been in lots of situations where I've dated coworkers over the years and pretty much they all started exactly as you described. Good luck!!


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knowbody15
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21 Sep 2012, 12:56 pm

So we were gonna hang out for another coworkers Bday, but that bday celebration pretty much ended before my crush and I got off work. So I said to my crush "do you wanna grab a beer." She was silent, so I immediately gave her an out and said "...or are you gonna call it a night?" She said "yeah..." So that's pretty much it for me lol I'm gonna chalk it up as a loss. This stuff is too complicated.

I sound like a teenager with all this and this anyway. I've actually tried in the past to ask her to hang out outside of work and I got a "no" so..... I'm just reading her wrong which is cool, understandable..... women, mysterious strange creatures you are lol


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DialAForAwesome
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21 Sep 2012, 2:33 pm

Morningstar wrote:
I would either be flattered, if I liked you back, or I would be upset, if I thought we were best friends. I used to get upset when my guy friends asked me out, because then I thought our friendship meant nothing to them for some reason... I wouldn't be scared though!


I'm kind of the opposite, lol. If a girl I like thinks I'm good enough to be a friend but not a boyfriend, it upsets the living hell out of me.


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21 Sep 2012, 7:48 pm

I'd be flattered, but then while taking a poop, I'd think,"Ahh..Jeez..I hope he doesn't "like" me!" :?



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21 Sep 2012, 8:05 pm

The number one thing to know about all (aspie or NT) women is this: When a woman likes a guy, she tells everybody. Then, it eventually gets back to you through the women, so you know to ask her out and she won't turn you down. If that's not happening, then no one is interested in you. Some of us are a bit less suttle - we will actually back our butt right into your crotch if we're REALLY, REALLY interested! Women are NOT coy if they're truly interested. They're coy when they're NOT interested. They don't talk about you when they're NOT interested. The dead giveaway is when they talk about you to others when You're not around and if they tend to body touch you. These two things are the only real indicators of interest in the workplace. Never ask a girl if she wants to hang out. Are you 13 years old? If you're going to ask someone out, offer them dinner. Don't be vague. If you want someone to call you, tell them when and what time you want them to call you. Never say, "Call me sometime." They won't call. If they offer you their number, ask when and what time you should call and really do it! Better to get to the point and get straight up rejection than to play guessing games or have to ask other people what they make of something. Communicate!! ! That the problem with aspies - not knowing how to really communicate their feelings or thoughts. It's sad. :(



knowbody15
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21 Sep 2012, 11:30 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
The number one thing to know about all (aspie or NT) women is this: When a woman likes a guy, she tells everybody. Then, it eventually gets back to you through the women, so you know to ask her out and she won't turn you down. If that's not happening, then no one is interested in you. Some of us are a bit less suttle - we will actually back our butt right into your crotch if we're REALLY, REALLY interested! Women are NOT coy if they're truly interested. They're coy when they're NOT interested. They don't talk about you when they're NOT interested. The dead giveaway is when they talk about you to others when You're not around and if they tend to body touch you. These two things are the only real indicators of interest in the workplace. Never ask a girl if she wants to hang out. Are you 13 years old? If you're going to ask someone out, offer them dinner. Don't be vague. If you want someone to call you, tell them when and what time you want them to call you. Never say, "Call me sometime." They won't call. If they offer you their number, ask when and what time you should call and really do it! Better to get to the point and get straight up rejection than to play guessing games or have to ask other people what they make of something. Communicate!! ! That the problem with aspies - not knowing how to really communicate their feelings or thoughts. It's sad. :(


Hmmmm......seriously? Back your butt into our crotch? I guess I've experienced more aggressive women in the past, but if what you described is standard, then I'm way off lol! Maybe you're describing one type of woman?


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