Women who throw themselves at men on dating sites

Page 1 of 18 [ 278 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 18  Next

sbarne3
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Texas

23 Nov 2012, 7:14 pm

Ok... not sure this is going to come out the way I intend it, but here goes...
Is it just me or do other guys get turned off when a women practically throws herself at you?
I know that seems counter-intuitive since most of us on here are pretty desperate ourselves, but hear me out on this.
This has happened to me several times already and it usually goes something like this...

1. I get an email that just says "Hi".
2. I think "ok cool... some chick has looked at my profile and is interested"
3. I look at her profile and even though I am not all that interested I decide to go ahead and give it a chance because we do have a couple of things in common and I think it would be kinda rude not to reply to her.
4. I send her an email and ask her a question related to something in her profile (just to get the conversation started)
5. She answers back and the next thing I know she is sending me her email, cell #, facebook, and twitter and we haven't even gotten past "what kind of movies do you like?"

I don't know... maybe I am just being too uptight, but it makes me feel suffocated.
Also as a guy I want to do at least some of the pursuing. Am I just being crazy?


_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")


Betzalel
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 317

23 Nov 2012, 7:51 pm

I don't know if I would consider that throwing yourself at someone. it is a dating site after all. hell the facebook/twitter thing might actually be useful in checking her out.

Honestly at least from my point of view I don't mind a woman showing some initiative since most of the time I get no feedback at all
and wonder what it is that made them totally blow me off.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

23 Nov 2012, 7:57 pm

Maybe she prefers to communicate via text or facebook?



MXH
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,057
Location: Here i stand and face the rain

23 Nov 2012, 8:12 pm

I've had similar things, but I associate it more with not having been overly interested from the start than on her being too forward.



wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

23 Nov 2012, 8:17 pm

yah dude i get messages that are 2 paragraphs long telling me how great i am and girls who get pissy when i dont respond and it really turns me off. Ialso get turned off if they reply right away also


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

23 Nov 2012, 8:17 pm

MXH wrote:
I've had similar things, but I associate it more with not having been overly interested from the start than on her being too forward.
true as well


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


sbarne3
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Texas

23 Nov 2012, 8:19 pm

MXH wrote:
I've had similar things, but I associate it more with not having been overly interested from the start than on her being too forward.

I think you may be right
Usually they seem like a nice person, but there is no attraction there.
I mean looks aren't everything for sure and I think I could learn to love just about anyone given enough time, but if there is no attraction at all then it is difficult to get things going.


_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")


DoodleDoo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 347
Location: SoCal/Los Angeles

23 Nov 2012, 9:36 pm

I am assuming you are in the USA. Are you meeting these girls face to face? Are you guys becoming intimate? I see "throwing themselves" involving direct real physical contact. Or is it some kind of Facebook drama game?

Unless you are actually meeting real people it is just an online conversation with who knows, I mean it could be some guy in Nigeria for all we know.

Being overly interested or more accurately interested for no reason means an ulterior motive is the sole reason for interest. They want something from you like money, have immigration problems etc. If you become involved with someone with overriding ulterior motives, once these motives get fulfilled, your relashenship has a potential to suddenly change.



madnak
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 166
Location: Salt Lake City, UT

24 Nov 2012, 3:16 am

Women initiate contact with you on a regular basis? What dating site are you using? How are your photographs rated? What's your general strategy? What's your tagline?



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

24 Nov 2012, 3:55 am

You don't even need a dating site (I've never used one,) but they do pretty much the same thing on social networking sites.

And yes, it's an extreme turn--off because I don't like the needy--greedy type who acts up like a b***h in heat.

Meanwhile I define myself as asexual (on social networking sites) and set filters in order to avoid being harassed.

I think that if one person is needy, no matter whether male or female, it's just that neediness that's driving others off because the needy person is going to check you out exclusively in terms of their own neediness as if you were an object, only meant to meet their needs.

Very much like they were going to buy, say, a car. It's all about their needs and their wants and how they can get you. They don't even bother to really get to know you. They are not interested in the person you are but all they do is evaluating to what extent you would satisfy their claims.

I told the last one who treated me in this manner that I'm not her dildo, not an object she can use for her own selfish pleasure. It worked.



Vectorspace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 903
Location: Germany

24 Nov 2012, 7:11 am

You can still tell her: "sorry, I'm not interested."

I've never been on a dating site, but when I was about 17, there was a girl in high school who kind of threw herself at me in public. That is, she often yelled "Vectorspace, I love you" across the classroom. She might have been bullying me, but in this case, I don't think so. I was scared anyway, and though it might seem strange, I had no real interest in girls at the age of 17 (neither in guys).

If it happened today, she would have to go through hours of discussion on one of my interests before I would agree on a date. :)



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

24 Nov 2012, 8:16 am

are they uglies/obese?

I have noticed that the unattractive, obese, vieled or seriously hideous women are the most forward on dating sites.


If they're not then why complaining?



wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

24 Nov 2012, 10:13 am

inhz this foull girl thrvw herself me..gives me chills thinkingof all the pity hugs igave


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


sbarne3
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Texas

24 Nov 2012, 11:02 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
are they uglies/obese?

yes... all of the above
Again I want to emphasize that I'm not as shallow as this thread might make me seem, but as a guy I need to feel at least a little attracted to her
And overweight doesn't really bother me that much... I have seen many overweight women who were attractive, but there is a difference between overweight and obese


_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

24 Nov 2012, 11:28 am

sbarne3 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
are they uglies/obese?

yes... all of the above
Again I want to emphasize that I'm not as shallow as this thread might make me seem, but as a guy I need to feel at least a little attracted to her
And overweight doesn't really bother me that much... I have seen many overweight women who were attractive, but there is a difference between overweight and obese


You're not that much of a looker to be honest.

Anyway, it makes sense that the women who are less fortunate in the looks department to be more forward/aggressive in seeking males. There seem to be a strong correlation between a woman's attractiveness and her forwardness (Ahhh a taboo subject, I am gonna be killed for that).

In gym, I know 3 totally obese girls who literally touch guys there, one of them literally poked my buddy's butt in a very sexual way - also in my workplace, the one obese girl is also the most forward of all . I've never saw a slim girl who's equally forward.

When I do the "Online Now" search on okcupid, I've always noticed, and it's amazing how it's often the case, that obese or the seriously hideous women are the only ones who put their chat option 'On' - most other women always put their chat option "off".



sbarne3
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Texas

24 Nov 2012, 11:32 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You're not that much of a looker to be honest.

never said I was... :?
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
When I do the "Online Now" search on okcupid, I've always noticed, and it's amazing how it's often the case, that obese or the seriously hideous women put their chat option 'On' - most other women always put their chat option "off".

yep... I noticed the same thing


_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")