some aspie women get dates,other aspie women can't

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Joined: 8 Jul 2011
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20 Dec 2012, 11:01 pm

I'm always afraid all the hot clerks at my gym will call me a creeper if I do anything more than say hi to them. Also, I don't know if they're being friendly because they like me or because they're being paid to. So I just lift things up and put them down and go home.

Also, some shifty stuff happens at gyms with personal trainers that are female. IE, someone told me their bosses sometimes make the females take their rings off so people will hit on them and think they're single, and give them false hope they'll have a chance with them.

JBlitzen
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20 Dec 2012, 11:51 pm

That's true, knives. Women have pulled the "creeper" card so often these days that men are a little gunshy about hitting on women in the workplace or where money's involved or, well, lots of places.

SIN, I don't have much advice for you. Try making friends with clients, there's no rule against that.

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answeraspergers
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21 Dec 2012, 1:06 am

The halo effect of looks is massive and makes getting dates easy. But i think personality matters more long term. You need both.

The quiet ladys never meet the quiet boys that suit them because they are both quiet.

JBlitzen
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21 Dec 2012, 1:55 am

answeraspergers wrote:

The quiet ladys never meet the quiet boys that suit them because they are both quiet.

I think you just described half of WP, heh.

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steviewonderau
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21 Dec 2012, 4:46 am

being quiet and shy is a severe handicap if you are male and is seen by society as a weakness. however it does not matter if a female is quiet and shy because males are willing to lower their standards and they accept quiet and shy females. there are are more males than females in the world and thus it does not matter if a female is quiet and shy. males are expected to be confident, strong and outgoing.

MCalavera
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21 Dec 2012, 4:53 am

Why do you see it as "lowering standards" if a man chooses to date a shy and quiet girl?

A lot of men genuinely find such girls attractive. And really, unlike with girls, men don't put so much importance on the trait identified as "confidence" in their potential partners.

I don't mind dating a confident girl, but confidence or not, it's not a deciding factor for me. It's just a nice bonus to see in a girl.

Sweetleaf
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21 Dec 2012, 7:08 am

I've had boyfriends but its never exactly lasted....not sure exactly how attractive or unattractive I am since that seems to be pretty subjective. But yes I think its more likely some can and some cant than they all cant or all can.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Dec 2012, 8:42 am

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/te ... trial/1405

SINsister
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21 Dec 2012, 2:38 pm

1000Knives wrote:

Also, I don't know if they're being friendly because they like me or because they're being paid to. So I just lift things up and put them down and go home.

Also, some shifty stuff happens at gyms with personal trainers that are female. IE, someone told me their bosses sometimes make the females take their rings off so people will hit on them and think they're single, and give them false hope they'll have a chance with them.

Christ, I didn't think about any of this. I wonder if it factors in where I work..?

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SINsister
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21 Dec 2012, 2:41 pm

JBlitzen wrote:

SIN, I don't have much advice for you. Try making friends with clients, there's no rule against that.

Well, first off, I'm not a personal trainer; I don't actually have clients. I assist folks through our supervised circuit, and help them with general questions about the facility and our programs, etc. As I think I mentioned, most of the gym's patrons are retirees and the elderly, and those are the folks I normally work with during my shifts.

1000Knives
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21 Dec 2012, 3:40 pm

Well, as I said before, the issue is guys can't read the signals well, so they're unlikely to approach you. The best advice I can give is try to turn the obligatory "Hi" into a conversation somehow, and see what comes out of it.

Boxman108
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21 Dec 2012, 3:41 pm

MCalavera wrote:

I'd see it as lowering standards in that it would not be fair to let something like that slide when those expectations are put on me. I'd want a partner who is equal to me, rather than one who can't stand on her own two feet.

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SINsister
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21 Dec 2012, 4:01 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

I'd want a partner who is equal to me, rather than one who can't stand on her own two feet.

Since when does quiet and shy indicate anything of the sort?

Boxman108
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21 Dec 2012, 4:58 pm

SINsister wrote:

Boxman108 wrote:

I'd want a partner who is equal to me, rather than one who can't stand on her own two feet.

Since when does quiet and shy indicate anything of the sort?

Since the same standard is held to males. If it is a flaw for guys to be shy or quiet, it should be the same for the other gender if we are to have equality.

MCalavera
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21 Dec 2012, 5:08 pm

Well, we tend to be more picky when it comes to physical looks, though.

MXH
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21 Dec 2012, 5:18 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Well, we tend to be more picky when it comes to physical looks, though.

Not at all. Women are just as picky on looks.

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